Fantastic.

I found your idea that the language a spell is spoken in matters very interesting. It's rare to see an explanation for how the words are tied to the spell.

The story as a whole was horrifying, frightening, because it is entirely plausible. I can see it happening, so you've done that much of what you were trying for.

It was nice to learn that "Hell hath no fury.." is from Congreve. I've known for quite a while it was a misquote, but I had no idea it was also misattributed. Thought it was Shakespeare. Thanks for that.

This is an amazing, disturbing, and incredible one-shot and I think you ought to be very, very pleased with the way that it came out. It stands as a model for the 1st-person, Hermione-centric story and it definitely extends Hermione's character within fanfiction.

Great, great job.

Regards,

the_Scribbler

that was a masterful take on hermione! her ruthlessness is believable and i'm half-impressed, half-terrified at her dedication to harry. i found the crookshanks PoV a little meh at the end though. after all the drama, the crookshanks bit kinda deflated it. i think just her message would be better for more impact but that would leave most readers lost, so it's a lose-lose situation. loved the take on the languages too. hope you have the time to tell me your new pen name. i'd love to read more of your work. :)

Well that was interesting. It takes some skill to have an entire story be essentially a "Talking villain" monologue and still hold our interest enough to at least skim.

But the AN's at 20 percent of the chapter were too much. Finally had to TLDR that.

Canon!Hermione is often amoral and vengeful, and hypocritical and preachy. She'd be an iconic leftist except that she gets her hands dirtier than most of those, and she's willing to risk her own hide as much as other's a tad too much for elitist comfort.

The idea that a government institution could be so far ahead of private art is laughable. And governments take great pains not to allow anyone - except occasionally ones at the very top (which Hermione isn't) - so much unchecked power. In fact, solo operators like Hermione are weeded out of governments quite effectively. Hermione has also shown her stripes with moves on Umbridge and Malfoy, Edgecombe, etc. She'll escalate, get sloppy and get caught. She also talks to much. One day a "wire" will be in the room. Ginny may not be down for the count.

Anyway, thoughtful Ginny bashing is always welcome. Fic was more entertaining than not.

I love your characterisation of Hermione. I think her thought processes are completely in keeping with the character that you have extrapolated for her and I love it.

That's what happens when you let a scholar down!

Could you let me know your new pen-name please so that I can read your other stories, pretty please :o))

Very good and I agree, very in character for all of them. Alougth I think I read/heard some where that JK said that Ginny and Harry didn't marry right away, she wanted her carrer first, (::shurg:: not that it matters).

Amazing.

I think you achieved your goals in this story, canon compliant, with a hell of a twist...

Hermione's character is consistent with her canon behavior, and I like her this way.

Brilliant !

Thanks for the fic. One of the best portrayal of Dark Hermione that I have read.

Well. That was intense. You were either very miffed at someone or hold the capacity to be. Nice. I can only write with that kind of intesity when I'm overtly emotional. Bonus points for finding the time to erradicate gramatical errors, I can never seem to remove all of them from mine.

Good work. Good Story. Good Writing.

Good story. Rather chilling but well conceived. It might be interesting to tell the same story from Ginny's POV. Thanks for writing. W.

Wow, *this* Hermione definitely lives up to Ron's "brilliant, but scary" description; she also quite definitely lives up to Kipling's line about the "female of the species is deadlier than the male". I do worry, though, that she's straying heavily into Albus Dumbledore's "The Greater Good" territory here and I fear for her soul. On the other hand, I'm an engineer and I can see where if someone I cared that deeply for was hurt, I'd certainly be turning over approaches in my mind for applying my knowledge to deal with the responsible parties (there *is* a reason that a number of terrorists have at least some engineering background).

In any case, I wanted to congratulate you on a quite brilliant and chilling piece of work.

Really interesting and provocative story. I like this idea you have of Hermione, that she might have fought on the side of the good but that doesn't preclude her from wrecking havoc on her enemies. And yes, I can buy her acting in vengeance against Ginny for hurting Harry... just as I can see Ginny leaving Harry at some point in the future just given what little we see from canon. I think you're right in that Hermione could do something like this... as you've noted, she has acted in a vengeful manner in the past. I do find it creepy at how much planning she does - from preventing Ginny from getting free from the vengeance - in fact creating the punishment and situation to save Harry the hurt, and then giving Harry his happy ending, b/c he deserves it.

I love your idea re: spell languages. I've never seen it before and I think it makes sense. If I ever steal it for one of my own fics, I'll make sure to credit you.

Thanks for a really provocative fic.

Impressive - and very true to canon and much of what we know about Hermione's character.

What has always struck me about Hermione and Harry (and to a lesser degree Ron) is that really they all should have been sorted into Hufflepuff. In the end their loyalty to each other supersedes everything else, beyond all reason. Look at all the most notable acts of the trio and their underlying motivation is that they were acting for at least one of the other two members.

I like your logic regarding Hermione's career choice also - a hunger for knowledge regardless of the consequences was another defining trait of Hermione's.

Love it! Well rationaolized, controled and very plausiable dark Hermione.

Quite creepy... and extremely plausible. I can easily see Hermione going down this path - especially in her role as an Unspeakable.

Excellent story and very thought-provoking. I especially like how what seemed to be her thinking out loud ended up being the spell and Crookshanks' observations added a nice touch. Very well done.

grenouille