Even though the reviewer below could have been less rude about it, I agree with him. This Harry is an idiot with the way he causes himself unnecessary strife, like just go to Ollivanders to get the fuckin wand you imbecile. And choosing Evans as a middle name, that's going to go well now isn't it. Idiot.

So... it was all right. Like I said, you had plenty of dialog. But the emotions that should have come with that were missing or lackluster. Every time someone found out harry and or Bella were rime travelers, the reaction was lukewarm at best.

Like when Harry and Bella got married I know he was dying, but there just weren't any solid baselines of feelings or thoughts that were really displayed. No real shock shown from Lilly or James when they figured out harry was a potter (which should have been impossible to figure out). And harry was very unemotional to important characters, like the Weasley, Sirius, James, Lilly, etc. And Snape was barely in it the last we saw him was when Tom was looking for a new wand.

Overall... I would say a C, low B. Okay, but with the potential to be great. Thank you!

See what I mean? The kids know he's alive, but there was no dropped jaws or big revelation or anything, they just know and no one said anything like wow or anything. I remember questions about Bella but nothing about harry

So, after several chapters, I finally figured out what it is that bugs me. Your story doesn't lack dialog, and the dialog is excellent. But what you lack is the thought process of the characters, their thoughts and most especially their feelings. I meant when Bella and Harry got married, their really wasn't any time spent on how the feel about it each other or think about each other. I've read lots of fanfic and books, and that's what's missing. Plus sometimes it feels you just gloss over certain sections. For example, here, the kid just asked if Harry would try this on his wife, thereby confirming that he knows Harry is Harry Ashford. Ghere have been no startling revelations or wows that I've seen that would indicate the kids know he's alive . They have done the ghost trick in the chamber before, but they did not confirm Harry is Alive

That is the lamest reaction I have ever seen from someone telling someone else they know they traveled through time. Seriously, Harry didn't even raise his eye rows, drop his jaw, nothing

I am calling it, that antique shop had one of the items for voldemorts horcrux in it

One of the first things I would've done is use the Room of Requirement to try and get the horcrux out of my head. Or maybe visit the goblins. Or piss Voldemort off to the point he cast the killing curse at me hoping it got rid of it.

The fact that he's just casually ignoring it and hoping Voldemort doesn't discover the connection is baffling to me.

Harry took too many lessons from the worst Dumbledore fanfiction tropes. "No, I can't give anyone any pertinent information about anything because only I can be trusted with information!"

Well done! Strange but true: both Andromeda Tonks and Remus Lupin disappeared after very brief mentions.

Oh god. I can't even describe the fantasticness that is this story. It was so good.

Amazing story

Oh...so you lowered her age about 10 years or so? But what about Andromeda and Narcissa? Narcissa is about 5 years younger than her, so even if she is under 11, Andromeda must be at school with her sister.