Reviews for Delenda Est
Please Read my stuff chapter 16 . 2/23/2011
I love it
Prankslover chapter 16 . 2/23/2011
UPDATE SOON! REALLY VERY INTERRESTING!
A chapter 16 . 2/23/2011
Very good update! It is nice to finally see some more plot development.

That said, i noticed several things in the grammar that stood out, sounded wrong and ruined the mood in this chapter.

E.g.

" "...Mr. Ashworth is the boss when you're beyond my and your father's reach." "

Should have been;

" "... Mr. Ashworth is the boss when you're beyond your father's or / and my reach." "

or

" "...Mr. Ashworth is the boss when you're beyond either your father's or my own reach." "

Now take a good look at the following sentence and tell me there is nothing wrong with it.

"Not wanting to feel sorry for himself, Harry jumped, or lurched, from the chair and walked over to his bathroom and studied his reflection in the mirror."

(jumped, or lurched)? is there a question in there somewhere? Is it an author's note in the middle of the story? If not, then do not write it as if you are unsure yourself of what happens. He could have jumped out of the chair and staggered or wobbled to the bathroom, to study his reflection in the mirror.

This was just some of the things i noticed, and there were definitely more.

I think this story is one of the better ones out there, both as a timetravel / AU fic and a Harry / Bella fic.

It has ALOT of potential! You have fleshed out most of the main characters in a believable way and your plot is solid.

That said, it is really sad, that you do not have an extra person / beta correcting all these mistakes, as it takes something out of the story.

But do not dispair and do not give up writting, for it truly is an amazing story and I would be far from the only one saddened it your were to abandon it.

I give it 4/5
Blizzardfang chapter 16 . 2/23/2011
dudes this fic is awesome
Reps chapter 1 . 2/23/2011
Sickeningly good. In the sense i struggle to read other Harry Potter fan fictions after this since they all seem rubbish...
Tilius chapter 16 . 2/23/2011
Liked the new chapter.
Reader of Harry Potter chapter 16 . 2/22/2011
I loved it! However I am very interested in this new story with Harry ~ Fluer you have spoken of due to your writing talents.
mrpietan chapter 16 . 2/22/2011
Whooot! ... good chapter. Nothing glaring in the way of composition, grammar or anyting .. :)
anonymous chapter 16 . 2/22/2011
and the plot thickens...hehe

update soon, can't wait to see what comes next
aztec2012bigone chapter 16 . 2/22/2011
Really great story! Can't wait for more. I just started following this one and I like it alot so far.
Heck yes here again chapter 16 . 2/22/2011
Apparently doesn't like certain things... like emails... So as I was saying, if you feel the need to respond, you can email me at chineseconspiracy gmail . com
Joey888 chapter 16 . 2/22/2011
This is a brilliant story and I'm so happy you added two chapters in one update, really made my day.

Hope you update soon
Ryuus2 chapter 16 . 2/22/2011
Ah, I haven’t looked at this inb a while, let’s see what’s happened in...three chapters?

...

So, in three chapters, Harry and Bella, the crux of the secret resistance, have both gone to the top of Tommy-boy’s most wanted list. Sheesh you guys move fast.

And a marriage arrangement? Now? That's going to throw Harry for a loop when he finds out about it.

And what the heck is Tom doing with the Holly wand!

Keep up the great work guys!
Penseln chapter 16 . 2/22/2011
Great to see another chapter i really been looking forward to it even more so since last one was a cliff hanger.

The chapter really didnt disappoint, the fighting was well written and exciting and was nice to see the Bella and Harry move towards each other even in a small way.

I hope life alows for a new chapter to be written and posted soon since i'm eagerly awaiting it.
die grimmig Maher chapter 16 . 2/22/2011
Good chapter if a little short. Eagerly awaiting the next update
6,906 | « Prev Page 1 .. 354 361 362 363 364 365 366 367 374 .. Last Next »