|Reviews for No Way Out|
| SaraiEsq chapter 6 . 9/23/2014
Well done. Very sad.
| GSJessica chapter 6 . 3/1/2010
Very satisfying and interesting story.
| GSJessica chapter 5 . 3/1/2010
Well, this is the defining chapter for the story. And I really, really like it. Even though I'd do several things differently, what you did and how you did it is chilling and effective. Bravo.
The first part, planning Hogan's replacement, talking about not returning his body... and he's still alive is stomach-clenching cold, and very effective.
Bender had some good comments and insights, but on the whole he and some of the others mostly just added too many names and people to keep track of.
Hogan's big moment... I'm torn. On one hand I'd like it to have a touch more-just a line or two to add more of a pause and attention as it is, for him, the ultimate Big moment. On the other hand, the brief, terse pragmatism of it also works and works quite brilliantly. I am a total fan of yours in that you did _not_ go for the melodramatic, sappy scene here. Excellent. I would like a scene break after "He closed his fist and rolled onto his back" however, possibly even a chapter end. That visual break could be enough for my "on one hand" thought.
Really good chapter.
| GSJessica chapter 4 . 3/1/2010
Ah... Mannheim, even though in a very brief scene, is getting interesting.
Good scene with Hogan, from his perspective. His fuzziness was vivid. Just once it dropped into Hochstetter's POV, which I found distracting. Seeing it all from Hogan's POV was much more engrossing.
| GSJessica chapter 3 . 3/1/2010
Loved Hogan's red herring bit in this chapter. In character and very good. I also very much like, and appreciate, the non-specifics of the torture. It's much more effective this way, IMO, rather than repulsing the reader with voyeuristic details.
Mannheim, in this chapter, has me wishing his sections were more tight into his POV and more revealing of his character. He would make not only an interesting character to delve into and create (beyond the bit we saw in the show), but would add a very interesting outside perspective on the events and other characters. His scene still came off a bit expository and narrator-distant.
Super good tension and sense of time being short created and kept throughout!
| GSJessica chapter 2 . 3/1/2010
I like every bit of plotting and story advancement you did in this chapter. As I said privately, your plotting is second to none. I could question the way you presented the chapter, though.
It started off great, intense and strong in Hogan's point of view as the events unfold. We're living the scene with him and it's very, very good. Then we hit the paragraph about Mannheim and it goes off into expository narration for the rest of the section. It's good material, but it's distant and not as involving as the beginning was.
What I would do-and ignore any suggestions that just don't fit your own writing style-is pick which characters whose eyes we'll be seeing the story through. The Mannheim bit with him realizing how minor he is would play quite interestingly through Hogan's eyes and perspective, or also interesting but different through Hochstetter's. I don't know if Klink has enough of a role to merit point of view scenes of his own. It comes down to a question of whose story this is. Whose story are you telling? And that can be more than one character.
| GSJessica chapter 1 . 3/1/2010
This is a good episode for spinoffs and alternate endings, and this is a good approach. I could question whether Hogan would give in, with no explanations or denials, that easily, but that's the approach you're taking to the scene and him coming up with other options would be for other alternative versions, so moving on...
I like it. It grabs from the start and holds the attention. The writing is vivid and tense.
"out of body experience" struck me as a tad anachronistic, but I didn't look it up so can't be certain. What did strike me during that scene was the seeming disappearance of the body on the floor. There are a lot of people in the room. Klink sit at his desk. There's other moving around, etc., but the body leaking blood onto the floor seems to have become invisible. The handcuffing, unhandcuffing, rehandcuffing bit got to be a bit too much futzing about.
| Jenn chapter 6 . 2/7/2010
Very well written, so sad but the only way it could have played out if Hogan had fired that shot.
| doctorjay chapter 6 . 12/15/2009
Sad ending. I expected Hogan to escape somehow. I guess I should have taken the title seriously. Well-written story.
| Sheila Snow chapter 6 . 12/5/2009
Nicely done. I was halfway expecting the pill to be something that would fake his death, but this was much more realistic. Just like Hogan to make the ultimate sacrifice. Good story.
| aloha94 chapter 6 . 12/2/2009
Oh well. It had to end this way I guess. :( Actually, this could turn out pretty interesting with the new commander and all. :)
| Mad Scientist too chapter 6 . 12/1/2009
What a sad story! Very realistic, very good, but none the less, sad. You should be careful or you will end up in fanfiction court.
| Bits And Pieces chapter 6 . 12/1/2009
A very sad ending, indeed, and I think everyone reacted the way I imagined them to. Under the circumstances, I think Hogan made the only choice he could. Hopefully the new C.O. will be a good leader, and the men will be able to adjust to him quickly; although their grief will no doubt carry on for a long time. A well-written and well thought out story. Thanks for sharing it with us.
| Lizzi0307 chapter 6 . 12/1/2009
That was a brillant story! But you can't leave us hangin here. You should write a sequel to your alternate ending, about the new senior POW officer, and how the guys react to him and everything. (and part of me is still hoping secretly the colonel isn't dead and it was a rooze). I love your writings, keep doing more! :D
| L J Groundwater chapter 6 . 12/1/2009
Sigh... so sad. My whole feeling around this chapter is so sad.