Reviews for Bella, Mutant
ANGEL FALLEN FROM HEAVEN chapter 21 . 3/19
i love this story too much i feel like crying when pyro said bye to bella
Guest chapter 19 . 7/18/2014
I knew it
Brenda chapter 1 . 4/1/2014
You have a nice writing style. Please keep writing, and don't get discouraged. Try to write without the word "was" it will make your writing stronger. Also use more discriptive words in place of "I". Present tense would make it easier to write the word "I" less often.
Manticore1162 chapter 8 . 3/24/2014
Not really getting into it. The mutants are so arrogant and bigoted that they make the arch-racist Wolves look like the Rainbow Coalition. And Bella is such a snot-nosed pmsing little beyotch that I think I'd rather see Edward canoodling with Jane de Volturi, because Jane is MUCH the nicer person of the two.

Too far OOC. Sorry. JMO.
Lilium Mercedes Knight chapter 13 . 10/29/2013
This story is so retarded and stupid it makes me laugh my pants off.
kadee son 12345 chapter 21 . 7/29/2013
update soon thanks
Awsumness88 chapter 21 . 12/22/2012
I truly love your writing! You are such a talented author and your plot is so creative! Your writing keeps the reader engaged and interested, always suspenseful as well as hilariously funny. Keep writing!
SilverShadowKat19 chapter 1 . 11/24/2012
AMAZING!
Antara93 chapter 21 . 5/24/2012
awesome ff just finished reading it...if u dnt mind plzz make bella n edward a couple...wud love 2 see dem fight 2gether againt d "evil" lolzz...neways ur choice :D
Good luck with your next story chapter 2 . 5/9/2012
the story was going so well till you portrayed Bella as rude. Just because she's a mutant doesn't mean she has to have a totally different personality. That's what makes Bella readable is that she's sweet and unassuming. Now she's just plain arrogant.
TheAuthorofShadows chapter 14 . 11/30/2011
I think that you have potential as a writter, but all of your characters are so horribly OUT of character it makes reading this difficult.

I like the premise for your story, it is a really good on and the only Twilight/X-Men crossover that I can find that isn't completely out there and beyond reading. However, I think that you really betrayed the characters by writing this the way you did. I get that you hate Edward (most people do for some reason or another) but if you are going to have a Twilight story that's not Edward/Bella like Stephenie Meyer wrote, then at least have a good written reason for why Bella hates Edward. She thinks he's a stalker, so instead of writing a single piece of dialogue where she shouts "STALKER!" and tries to kill him, maybe show her thoughts about why she doesn't like him. Add in character development so your characters are more real and not so 2D. Also, since when did "homo" become an insult? Very callous, very insensitive, and very immature. And where did Bella even get the idea?

Overall, not a very well thought out approach to what could be a good story. Your main problems are with your characters and not with your writing. You show only the bad qualities of the characters that you dislike and only the good qualities of the characters that you like. To make them seem real they have to have both bad and good in them.

My suggestion to you is to re-read Twilight to get a better feel for the characters and re-read the X-Men comics of re-watch the movies (or both). Once you are sure about the characters, try to rewrite this. Each chapter may take multiple attempts, but I believe that you can do it. Then I would find a Beta to read over this and tell you where you can improve. I understand that this story is complete, but it can always be improved for your readers.

None of this was meant out of spite or meanness as I hope you understand. I try to give the best critique I can give so that authors can improve in the hopes that I get the same from others.

This is a real penname by the way, I just can't get into my account at the moment. If you care to message me back, feel free.

Happy Writing!

TheAuthorofShadows
SilverWolf742 chapter 3 . 10/10/2011
You're definitely good with dialogue. I'd like to see a little more detail about what the characters are doing during their conversations though. Other than that, good job :)
SilverWolf742 chapter 1 . 10/10/2011
It's refreshing to find a fanfic that's actually written well. Thank-you for that! Your characterization is good. The interweaving of the Twilight and X-men universes is also good, which is important for a crossover fic. I have an X-men/Twilight fic in progress too if you want to check it out :)
BeckaR chapter 21 . 9/7/2011
Omg love this story can't wait to read the sequel
cottoncandybl52 chapter 1 . 7/25/2011
Kul. This story was really good. Loved it
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