|Reviews for The Diffrence Between the Past and the Future|
| robituputup chapter 1 . 6/13
A good one :) I love time travel fics with HG/SS, but why 30 and not ~20 years? :) Nevertheless, thank you for the great reading!
| Guest chapter 1 . 4/14
*30 years not 3. Sorry! I'm awful at typing on my phone :-P
| Guest chapter 1 . 4/14
The mistakes in this drove me insane.
First, Hermione would not have gone back anywhere close to 3 years. It's simple math. Snape and the Mauraders were born around 1959-1960. Hermione was born in 1979. Only a 20 year age difference. You sent a 7th year Hermione back to when Severus and co. are also presumably around their 7th year given that a) Severus and Hermione start a relationship and b) Hermione is in classes with them. Had she truly gone back in time 30 years, Severus and the marauders would have only been 8 or 9 and not even at Hogwarts. Simply paying attention to the books would have told you this. Also, Lucius and the Black sisters are several years older than Severus and would have long graduated.
Secondly. It's LEVICORPUS, not Levi Corps. Again, a simple check in the books or even this great website we call Google would have answered that for you.
Thirdly, your dialogue between characters was difficult to follow as you kept pairing what one character was saying with how the other character was reacting.
Example from your story:
"What happens now? Do you just go back and pretend this never happened?" Hermione shrugged and looked at him through her tears.
"I don't know. I have no idea how to fix what I did." Severus looked at her with a raised expression.
"And what did you do?" Hermione wiped at her eyes and stared off into the darkness.
"I interfered. I changed the future." Severus shrugged.
"How is that so bad? What if nothing changed?" Hermione didn't look at him.
"Everything changed. Because in twenty years you will see me, a small girl walk up the steps and be sorted into my house. You will know it is me. You will know and not tell anyone because I wouldn't know who you are." Severus shrugged.
You have Hermione's reactions following Severus' dialogue, and vice versa. A better way to structure dialogue might be as follows:
"What happens now? Do you just go back and pretend this never happened?" Severus questioned.
Hermione shrugged and looked at him through her tears. "I don't know. I have no idea how to fix what I did." Severus looked at her with a raised expression.
"And what did you do?"
Hermione wiped at her eyes and stared off into the darkness. "I interfered. I changed the future."
"How is that so bad? What if nothing changed?" Severus shrugged.
Hermione didn't look at him, but then spoke.
"Everything changed. Because in twenty years you will see me, a small girl walk up the steps and be sorted into my house. You will know it is me. You will know and not tell anyone because I wouldn't know who you are."
See how much easier it can be to follow a conversation this way?
I hope if you write in the future you use a beta, there are numerous spelling and grammatical mistakes that would have been picked up on by spell check easily. You even have a spelling error in the title of your story, which is a huge distraction. But taking time to run spell check, research basic facts to make sure your timelines are correct and information for the story is accurate make a world of difference.
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| laumirot chapter 1 . 3/23/2015
I love it! no drama an I love how you wrote this
| Guest chapter 1 . 10/9/2014
It was a really great story.
Severus was so brave and waited 30 years for her and never gave up.
But the grammar mistakes started with the mistake in the title with "diffrence" instead difference and ended with "defninatly" instead
definitely at the end of the story.
Maybe you should get it betaed that would really improve the reading experience.
| Guest chapter 1 . 9/4/2014
Timeline is totally off. Snape and the Potters are twenty years older than Harry and company. That means that Hermione should have gone back twenty years in order to be the same age as them and she also would have been a first year 12 years after they leave Hogwarts, not 20. Lucius was a 5th year prefect when Severus was sorted into Slytherin and Narcissa was born in 1955, so she should have been in the same year as him. This means they would have graduated after Severus' second year.
| Anna Alexis chapter 1 . 1/22/2014
I loved this! Absolutely delicious! Very good writer...
| Lupe Fiasco chapter 1 . 11/17/2013
It's so cute! ;u;
| Nella Hyuga chapter 1 . 10/18/2013
Awwww Sooo CUUUTE this was PERFECT :3
| slytherinduolover chapter 1 . 6/5/2013
Oh my. I loved this story so much. It made me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. Lol.
| I Love Dimitri Belikov chapter 1 . 3/16/2013
| DannyBird chapter 1 . 3/4/2013
it was good. you were cruel to have Severus wait thirty years but it's still so sweet. I loved the smut too.