|Reviews for Five Things: A Max and Mariam OneShot|
| Sanich Iyonni chapter 1 . 12/3/2009
I like every times Max tried to kiss Mariam here. He had struggled hard, indeed. :) The second time made me laugh. Poor him, really poor him.
Mariam is the boss, absolutely. ;D
Great job. I'm sorry I can't leave a better review; I'm really busy at school now. Good luck for you too!
| b0ld.as.l0ve chapter 1 . 12/2/2009
Nice story! Max is a really persistent (and rejection-proof) boy. Only someone like that could get Mariam. I love how Max is pretty sure about what he feels, but has no idea how Mariam feels, while Mariam is the opposite. She knows how he feels, but she is confused about her feelings. And of course, she has to leave him confused too so they are even. Good Luck! (:
| RedWheeler chapter 1 . 12/1/2009
I read this a while ago, so you know. I've just been really swamped lately and have received a head cold... so, yeah.
Anyway, I thought this was interesting. I do believe Max would want to kiss Mariam, but in my head I can always see her initiating the kiss for some reason. How my head works, I suppose. She just seems more straight forward, like in this, and Max always seems more forward in a bashful way, if you know what I mean.
Probably not. XD His friends probably think he is a bit odd. Falling into the river. Saint Shields probably think he has a death wish.
The only criticism I have is with the numbers. To me, they're distracting. Kind of breaks the story up. Other than that, nothing I can really recall.
Anyway, sorry for the delay. Good job and good luck with the contest.
| AzikaRue394 chapter 1 . 11/23/2009
Thanks for entering; I really love this!
First of all, you've got both characters spot on. I find the hardest thing with Max and Mariam is keeping them in character. I have a hard time with Mariam, especially, but I was glad to see that I'm pretty much the only person with that problem. I'm the only person with quite a few problems actually...XD
I liked the sequence of the kissing attempts. It not only served as an insight into Max's character, but Mariam's as well. Each kiss got less and less violent until Mariam knew she couldn't resist anymore, so she planted one on him to retain at least some of her dignity. XD Wonderful.
Max's 'third time's the charm' bit made me laugh. Especially when he said that whoever came up with the quote hadn't tried to kiss Mariam. XD "At this rate they were going to be in their eighties before Max got his kiss from her." really hit it home for me.
Mariam would definitely just pick up Max's coffee and drink it. I liked that part as well. Just another way for her to stay on top; deprive the poor boy of his coffee.
The ending was, I think, my favorite part. I love the fact that after all he's done, he got the kiss, but has no idea where the relationship stands. On that note, you've really hit on the weirdness (if that's even a word) of their relationship.
Altogether a fabulous piece of writing. Well done. :)
| roktavor chapter 1 . 11/23/2009
The thing you said about not being satisfied with what you wrote after you've read other peoples' stuff is just how I am. I thought mine was pretty good, then I read yours and RedWheeler's...
I think this was genius. Poor Maxie just wants a kiss. But no, he can't have it until Mariam's decided she wants it, too. XD She would have to be in charge of their relationship. And Max would let her.
'Twas funny, too, which automatically makes it an awesome story.
Keep up the totally awesome work and good luck in the contest!