Wah, I'm so sad this is dead. This has high potential! I hope you or Uatu finishes this someday! :O

It's probably a little strange getting a review so many years after ending a story, but I wanted to say I really enjoyed this- in particular the scene of them suddenly looking over to Shinobu as she chugged the wine. That definitely cracked me up, a very funny idea and very easy to picture.

Some typos, and perhaps misspelled or misplaced or words put in by accident, but still not too bad of work here. Some strong language, too, that could perhaps have been omitted or changed, I think. Naru really needs to grow up and learn compassion and fairness here, at least. TUS out.

It seems you used some words here when you actually meant others, or when others might be more appropriate here. If you ever come back to this story, it might not hurt to try and fix whatever errors of any kind there might now be for it. Still a fairly good story here, I think. TUS out.

A few typos, in terms of missing spaces, as there may be in other chapters of this story as well, but for the most part, this chapter wasn't too badly written. I would have omitted certain language, I'm sure, but Naru's still not apparently realizing what she really needs to realize about herself and others at the Apartments, including Keitaro. And that's not a good thing at all, without any doubt. TUS out.

I don't know if it's actually true or not that one can potentially die if they quit drinking or smoking, for instance, cold turkey, but I really don't think that doing that is necessarily a bad thing for people who've been known to drink or smoke heavily. Also, I don't think minors should normally be allowed to drink or smoke either, come to think of it. TUS out.

Not bad at all, for the most part, at least. Good idea to have Mitsune dump the booze, I think. Naru is not acting as she should in this story, for she's still being quite disrespectful, among other things, in this story. I hope you eventually do finish the entire story, in time, if at all possible, of course, somehow. TUS out.

I didn't see this in Uatu's profile.

Su? Well, that's different...

I'll be honest-Shinobu being drunk here is WAY funnier than it was in the manga! And Kitsune! No time to panic. Then Shinobu kisses her french style and then she decides it's time to panic. HA! How DISNEY'S ALADDIN of her!

Sneaky, Shinobu. Very sneaky. Drinking some of Su's drink while everyone's looking away.

I was enjoying this story it's to bad it had to stop. The author Uatu hasn't really continued the this so to bad it did.

I doesn't seem like Uato actually continued your story, here's to hoping that you'll be up to continuing it sometime in the future, the marriage thing just has so much romantic potential plotwise, not to mention comedic.

Yay it seems like my hope wasn't in vain :-)

ALthough it only said in the first chapter that this would be a Keitaro/Kitsune pairing, I can't help but hope that Shinobu will become a part of that. This chapter, with the marriage thing and the sleepy kiss etc. seems like a great starting point for that direction :-)