|Reviews for Some Tea Between Friends|
| NaylorFan90 chapter 1 . 11/24/2009
Good. Poor grammar, and several missing words, but you managed to get someone who doesn't like the show interested in your story.
| CFenrir chapter 1 . 11/24/2009
Not bad to start out with, but it feels like you were trying to fit a bit too much into the first chapter in my opinion. I understand you're just setting the stage for the rest of the story, but there are a few things I think could have came across a bit better.
Let's start with the good stuff first, though. You did take a pretty big step away from the way stories like these normally start. Instead of starting off with Keitaro getting Naru punched into space or the like, you opted for a much better approach in the form of Kitsune coming back in from a night out. More than that, you're writing is alright technical wise. There are a few issues, but you'll naturally get better the more you do it.
There's not any overwhelming bad or anything. It's just a few things I felt could have came across better. For example, I think you came across a little too strong. It's cool if you want to take the angle that she's a drunk and a con, but, if you pull that card then you have to play it the right way. It really comes down to how the rest of the stories goes so that only becomes a negative if your character development suffers.
What stood out to me, though, Kitsune's flow of emotion. I'm kind of divided. On one hand, she's the character most prone to switch between moods at any moment and adapt to the conversation and topic at hand, but, on the other, I ended up feeling that you grazed her character with the issues that appeared instead of hitting it dead center if you know what I mean. Again, though, that isn't a negative for real if you were planning on expanding on what you already brought up so far.
All in all, I'm relatively satisfied. I'll try another chapter when I see one. One last thing to mention is that it'd probably be better for you to search for a beta reader using the site. That way you're more likely to get someone that you personally feel is equipped to help you and your story become better.
| HarimaHige chapter 1 . 11/24/2009
this looks like a realy good fic. Its not my favorite paring but the story sounds interesting. I hope Mitsune hasnt made a mistake with not answering the question.
| Liam Cathasaigh chapter 1 . 11/23/2009
Interesting setup you have here. I do admit, usually it's Kitsune who has the insights, but this is certainly a plausible (moreso than the common one, in my alternative) alternative to that. Well written, well played, and overall I think this holds great promise.
Post soon, m'kay?
| NefCanuck chapter 1 . 11/23/2009
Interesting setup and as you pointed out in your A/N, definitely a road less traveled by most authors.
I'll be interested to see where you take this.
| Love Hina Fanatic chapter 1 . 11/23/2009
Great start, and glad to hear about the lack of bashing.
| Nostravox chapter 1 . 11/23/2009
Can't get enough of Kitsune/Keitaro fics, great so far! You have a decent flow for the story and you have a nice introduction to it all. Good luck on your next chapter
| Major Mike Powell III chapter 1 . 11/23/2009
Well, well, soldier...
This was interesting!
'Bout damn time somebody posted a new Kei/Kit fic! LOL
Now, don't listen to whoever says the F-Bombs, or in this case, B-Bombs are NOT necessary.
'Cuz THAT is just BS. "Btch" is THE right name for Naru. Nevar forget that, marine.
Now, back to the story. LMAO
Indeed, the K-Man sounded really smart here. ROFL Pretty fittin' for a Toudai student.
Still, he's a dork.
And too bad Kit didn't tell'im that she woulda said "yes" if the K-Man confessed to'er.
Oh, and too bad she didn't invite'im into her room either. ROFLOL THAT woulda been AW3SOME!
This looks promising, son.
Update ASAP! That's an order!
Semper-Fi! Carry on!
| Nodoka Miyazawa chapter 1 . 11/23/2009
I've got a fic starting from the same point (roughly, actually about 3 weeks later). At this point, Shinobu is 14, Keitaro 21 and Mitsune 20. I have a timeline detailing the birthdates and timeline of the series if you want it.
It's a promising start, I look forward to seeing how things progress
I would be interested in being a beta to someone, although I am kinda busy at times I'm sure I could help!
| S1n harvest chapter 1 . 11/23/2009
I logged in just to review, that says a lot for this story, since I'm extra lazy about logging in.
Good story, I cant get enough of KK stories, Lets see where this goes!
| Nysk chapter 1 . 11/23/2009
Very good start.
I like this pairing almost as much as I do Kei/Motoko one's.
I hope you update soon.
| The Universal Storyteller chapter 1 . 11/23/2009
You seem to have a rather interesting premise for your story here, 2ndSera. However, I'd most definitely have left out the rather strong name-calling that Mitsune used in relation to Naru as she and Keitaro were still talking in the kitchen with each other, for instance. I hope you eventually will sufficiently enough edit out and refrain from using any particularly strong language for current and future chapters of this story, for that matter. TUS out.