|Reviews for A Phoenix Does Not Fear Ashes|
| Analadybug chapter 28 . 7/29
| Guest chapter 28 . 8/1/2014
You're a good writer with a LOT of potential - that's the only reason I ever bother with reviews, especially for older stories. You might not check your reviews anymore, or your writing might've improved so much since finishing this that this review is completely pointless. But I wanted to make you aware of some of the things I noticed that you could easily improve on, just in case.
You should be sure to separate scenes with a line or something so you don't confuse the reader. You started doing that in the last few chapters, but the rest are just a blur of mixed scenes that the reader has to figure out. It would also be a good idea to put dream sequences and memories in italics. Also, try to refrain from making insanely long paragraphs. I noticed you had a few that took up the entire screen - that's an easy way to lose readers, especially if it happens toward the beginning of a story, before they're properly invested.
You used "mercury" to describe Draco's eyes 57 times throughout the story - 10 times in ONE chapter! You don't need to describe them every single time you mention them. Descriptions are meant to add to the story, but if you throw in too many it's more likely to distract the reader.
You tend to have a problem with little plot holes. For example, you claim Ginny is this amazing healer, but in the final battle she does absolutely nothing to even try to heal any of Draco's wounds. It would make sense if she was too panicked to react properly, but if that's what you meant to happen you didn't communicate it effectively - at least not for me.
The whole thing with Blaise was a little weird to me. The way Draco felt that of COURSE he should've known the attack on the Order was coming because Blaise told him through the constant rain was really weird.
I LOVED the line you had in chapter 27 where Dumbledore says something about ending the war while finishing a chess game - the symbolism was beautiful and perfect.
Overall this was an incredible story with a great plot and exceptionally well written compared to the vast amount of stories on this site. I think the main thing you should work on that would really vastly improve your writing is finding the balance between too much and not enough imagery.
| Gypsy Dreamcatcher chapter 28 . 5/5/2014
This story is one of the best I've read in a long while. It was so well written and had an amazing plot line that was constantly dragging the reader around new twists and turns that were truly unexpected. You had me laughing, crying, and constantly clicking to the next chapter. I was captivated by the way you portrayed Draco and Ginny. A truly phenomenal job!
| DobbyWinky chapter 28 . 4/29/2014
great story :)
| Guest chapter 28 . 9/8/2013
That was such an amazing story! Great job atty keeping the plot moving, the characters interesting, and keeping me interested!
| Kat-Knife chapter 3 . 8/12/2013
Great chapter! I quite liked the fact that Draco was so sarcastic even under Veristatum. :)
| Kat-Knife chapter 2 . 8/12/2013
Poor Draco, this is just not his day is it? Having to join the feared Order, where he probably will not be welcomed by his classmates.
| Kat-Knife chapter 1 . 8/12/2013
Wow, I really like the prologue and the summary of this story. I've never read something quite like this so I'm excited to see what happens! :)
| Caladhiel999 chapter 20 . 7/26/2013
| Caladhiel999 chapter 18 . 7/25/2013
| Caladhiel999 chapter 14 . 7/16/2013
Oh Fred! Always ruining the moment! Lol!
| Caladhiel999 chapter 11 . 7/16/2013
Oh damn! Not that crazy woman!
| Caladhiel999 chapter 8 . 7/16/2013
Yay! Awsome chapter deary!1
| Caladhiel999 chapter 7 . 7/16/2013
Pimp cane lol!
| Guest chapter 28 . 12/13/2012
Absolutely wonderful story. You did an amazing job writing this, keep up the good work!