|Reviews for Naruto: Arcane Heart|
| timunderwood9 chapter 5 . 2/15
Don't know if you are still writing, but depending on what you want to do there always is a solution to having severely overpowered characters who can crush the setting: make the story about something other than the fights.
| timunderwood9 chapter 1 . 2/15
Hmm, just who and what the story is about is very unclear until the bottom of the chapter. I suspect it might have been more popular if the reader didn't have to go through that much text before they had any idea what is going on. Yes it feels fun to reveal slowly it through the story, but from the perspective of a reader a depressed first person pov where you don't know who it is leads to a 'huh, close tab, next story' reaction. Even if they are someone who might be interested.
On the other hand since it is a non standard character getting some sort of attachment to the idea before the audience knows the story doesn't involve Fate, Nanoha etc could be good.
Also none of this says anything about the intrinsic quality of the story, which perhaps is served well by the opening, just how appealing it might be to a reader.
| yukicrewger2 chapter 4 . 1/26
you know with Mizuki's former slap on the wrist and I believe the cannon murder that put him in the academy, the Hokage could have used the incident to send the civilian council that supported Mizuki to the T&I to get them off the council.
| Rhavis chapter 33 . 5/24/2014
*poke* Any chances you'll continue this story? The last author's note says you planned on continuing it but no updates since 2011 Dx
| yukicrewger2 chapter 14 . 4/9/2014
you never translated the fake hyouton jutsu or told us what lunatic force actually does
| AsahinaTora chapter 20 . 3/20/2014
I remember I started reading this one time and quit before chapter 6 or 7 I think.
Now I got to chapter 20 and I can't take it anymore. The scene jumping that you do is a pain to follow sometime and extremely lacking in details to focus on progressing the story, not a bad point, but it left so much desiring for the details in between.
Ex: And Kurenai was fighting some nin. (Jump scenes).
Ex: "Ultra poweful attack that will end the fight". (Now let's see what is happening in another place and not describe the attack's.)
The Dragon Sage was not a nice addition on the story in my opinion. Only entering to give a summon scroll to Alicia to super "cool" powerful beings, when you could try and turn her in a cool and powerful being.
And everything new that you placed had a human form just completely sux. Dragons have human forms, snakes have human forms (I liked the snakes having two factions), frog don't (they are Kishimoto so not gonna mess with that).
Sometimes it seen you are forgetting the thing you typed in earlier chapter's, I'm almost sure that at some point Precia talked with the Third about what she did and about Fate, it was because that she meet Jiraya for the seal to turn of the incoming of memories, and if erasing the memories was better why not have done it sooner?
About the Mana and Chakra it appears they are the same, it would have been better to explain it further in the beginning of the story specially making Precia a Jounin and seeing she uses fire jutsus (don't remember the chapter).
I'm finishing my rant here. I hope you are able to finish this story someday for the people who stayed with you till the end of the story.
| Reishin Amara chapter 33 . 7/31/2013
uust finihed reading this and excellent from start to end.
| Guest chapter 2 . 7/11/2013
If this was either a crossover or an AU I would read it, but since its a crossover into an AU I don't think I will
Oh, and the non-chronilogical thin is a pain in the ass.
| hot dog285 chapter 11 . 4/27/2013
"Never again, she said to herself. Never again."
I do believe that's a shout out to the first chapter of Graceful Degradation.
| tphod chapter 31 . 10/18/2012
Holy frigging crap! as of this date, I declare this fanfict one of THE best pieces of literature that I have read so far.
PS: thanks for introducing me to Grand Chase a day ago, it looks awesome and I'll see how it end up going with it.
| tphod chapter 25 . 10/17/2012
you got into my head with the review pleading, so here is a review 1, I normally wait for the last available chapter but... 'good story deserves review' is how it goes no?
| jgkitarel chapter 5 . 10/16/2012
You know, I like the Precia here. She's not much different that she was in MGLN, but having Alicia back has stabilized her to a degree. Of course, she is also having to come to terms with Alicia knowing what she did to Fate due to the mental link they share, though it looks as if Alicia is at least willing to forgive things. Forgetting them is another matter entirely and I can see Alicia forcing them to at least make an attempt at reconciliation at the point of a Kunai. Hey, she's a kunoichi.
Also, Alicia befriending Hinata via a fight. Looks like she took to the Nanoha school of friendship there because of Fate's memories.
Naruto's progress is interesting. With Precia there to beat in the benefits of learning, and I have the image of her braining him with Hrist when she gets frustrated, he actually takes his studies seriously. The fact that he is friends with Alicia, who is highly intelligent, means that he has a marked improvement in his core abilities. Now, their experiments with jutsu...
Why do I have the disturbing image of the two of them cackling and shouting "IT'S ALIVE!" with ominous lightning in the background with Jiraya and Precia beaming at them with pride?
| LordsFire chapter 1 . 8/4/2012
I think I tried to read this once, a long time ago, but couldn't make myself get through it. This time, it's quite engaging, and the only notable complaint I'd draw, is that 'Might guy' is an extremely awkward name, and 'Maito Gai' just flows better, especially considering that aside from Rock Lee, *none* of the other character's names are remotely romanized.
| Cen chapter 15 . 7/7/2012
This dragon sage ridiculousness ended my interest in this story. I don't care what happens next with him, the inanity of the whole "OH EM GEE YOU MUST BE BETTER THAN JIRAIYA AND MINATO COMBINED" and the Kyuubi respecting him and blahblahblah. It's basically the worst character I've ever encountered in an otherwise readable story. I didn't even finish this chapter, the scene I mentioned above just straight made me stop reading right there.
| Grey Muji chapter 33 . 4/22/2012
Your right this IS a really good story and like you said a Beta would make it even better by cleaning it up a bit. This is very good and I can't wait to see more of your skill when you release the next chapter in Twin Fates!-Grey