|Reviews for Naruto: Arcane Heart|
| yukicrewger2 chapter 14 . 4/9
you never translated the fake hyouton jutsu or told us what lunatic force actually does
| AsahinaTora chapter 20 . 3/20
I remember I started reading this one time and quit before chapter 6 or 7 I think.
Now I got to chapter 20 and I can't take it anymore. The scene jumping that you do is a pain to follow sometime and extremely lacking in details to focus on progressing the story, not a bad point, but it left so much desiring for the details in between.
Ex: And Kurenai was fighting some nin. (Jump scenes).
Ex: "Ultra poweful attack that will end the fight". (Now let's see what is happening in another place and not describe the attack's.)
The Dragon Sage was not a nice addition on the story in my opinion. Only entering to give a summon scroll to Alicia to super "cool" powerful beings, when you could try and turn her in a cool and powerful being.
And everything new that you placed had a human form just completely sux. Dragons have human forms, snakes have human forms (I liked the snakes having two factions), frog don't (they are Kishimoto so not gonna mess with that).
Sometimes it seen you are forgetting the thing you typed in earlier chapter's, I'm almost sure that at some point Precia talked with the Third about what she did and about Fate, it was because that she meet Jiraya for the seal to turn of the incoming of memories, and if erasing the memories was better why not have done it sooner?
About the Mana and Chakra it appears they are the same, it would have been better to explain it further in the beginning of the story specially making Precia a Jounin and seeing she uses fire jutsus (don't remember the chapter).
I'm finishing my rant here. I hope you are able to finish this story someday for the people who stayed with you till the end of the story.
| Reishin Amara chapter 33 . 7/31/2013
uust finihed reading this and excellent from start to end.
| Guest chapter 2 . 7/11/2013
If this was either a crossover or an AU I would read it, but since its a crossover into an AU I don't think I will
Oh, and the non-chronilogical thin is a pain in the ass.
| hot dog285 chapter 11 . 4/27/2013
"Never again, she said to herself. Never again."
I do believe that's a shout out to the first chapter of Graceful Degradation.
| tphod chapter 31 . 10/18/2012
Holy frigging crap! as of this date, I declare this fanfict one of THE best pieces of literature that I have read so far.
PS: thanks for introducing me to Grand Chase a day ago, it looks awesome and I'll see how it end up going with it.
| tphod chapter 25 . 10/17/2012
you got into my head with the review pleading, so here is a review 1, I normally wait for the last available chapter but... 'good story deserves review' is how it goes no?
| jgkitarel chapter 5 . 10/16/2012
You know, I like the Precia here. She's not much different that she was in MGLN, but having Alicia back has stabilized her to a degree. Of course, she is also having to come to terms with Alicia knowing what she did to Fate due to the mental link they share, though it looks as if Alicia is at least willing to forgive things. Forgetting them is another matter entirely and I can see Alicia forcing them to at least make an attempt at reconciliation at the point of a Kunai. Hey, she's a kunoichi.
Also, Alicia befriending Hinata via a fight. Looks like she took to the Nanoha school of friendship there because of Fate's memories.
Naruto's progress is interesting. With Precia there to beat in the benefits of learning, and I have the image of her braining him with Hrist when she gets frustrated, he actually takes his studies seriously. The fact that he is friends with Alicia, who is highly intelligent, means that he has a marked improvement in his core abilities. Now, their experiments with jutsu...
Why do I have the disturbing image of the two of them cackling and shouting "IT'S ALIVE!" with ominous lightning in the background with Jiraya and Precia beaming at them with pride?
| LordsFire chapter 1 . 8/4/2012
I think I tried to read this once, a long time ago, but couldn't make myself get through it. This time, it's quite engaging, and the only notable complaint I'd draw, is that 'Might guy' is an extremely awkward name, and 'Maito Gai' just flows better, especially considering that aside from Rock Lee, *none* of the other character's names are remotely romanized.
| Cen chapter 15 . 7/7/2012
This dragon sage ridiculousness ended my interest in this story. I don't care what happens next with him, the inanity of the whole "OH EM GEE YOU MUST BE BETTER THAN JIRAIYA AND MINATO COMBINED" and the Kyuubi respecting him and blahblahblah. It's basically the worst character I've ever encountered in an otherwise readable story. I didn't even finish this chapter, the scene I mentioned above just straight made me stop reading right there.
| Grey Muji chapter 33 . 4/22/2012
Your right this IS a really good story and like you said a Beta would make it even better by cleaning it up a bit. This is very good and I can't wait to see more of your skill when you release the next chapter in Twin Fates!-Grey
| cpg468 chapter 8 . 4/1/2012
I'm completely confused. Sarutobi and Jiraiya discussed the Alicia/Fate clone situation back in chapter 3. Where did this "OMG, cloning Orochimaru" bit suddenly come from?
| Teucrian chapter 31 . 1/18/2012
Great story! The whole gimmick with Naruto's power being out-of-control/inaccessible and then coming back stronger got kind of tiring though.
| ArmorOfGeddon chapter 18 . 9/24/2011
Thank goodness I was right to have faith in you regarding the Kumo/Hyuuga sub-plot!
Incidentally, the reason we come for the character interactions and fluff is because most of your fights are almost blatant re-hashes of the canon fights, or just aren't interesting. Sasuke's fight with Gaara was basically the same as in canon almost verbatim.
I liked how they had Kyuubi literally talk Shukaku down, but that can't actually be considered a fight and as novel as it was it was still a ridiculously anti-climatic end to the fight. Gaara vs Alicia and Naruto was decent up until Gaara transformed all the way if its any comfort. The one genuinely interesting fight, Precia vs Yugito, was glossed over a lot (to be fair no one knows exactly how Yugito fights so I can see why you wanted to mostly just allude to it while having Precia show off some moves).
Don't take it too hard. Some people just aren't that good at fight scenes, which are some of the hardest things to write in all of fanfiction. Just be glad that your real strengths (humor and characterization) shine through despite the few areas where your writing hiccups!
| ArmorOfGeddon chapter 16 . 9/24/2011
I'm not annoyed with the situation with Alicia. Heck, if you want to add another series to the crossover, fine. It helps that dragons are cool, though frankly it seems like your just handing one unnecassary power-up after another to the heroes, but I doubt I'll care much once I get to see cool explosions. What's annoying was the sheer boredom of the Naruto/Neji fight and the sheer hair-pulling absurdity of the Kumo/Hyuuga situation.
Its as if Naruto, the kid who can learn insanely complicated techniques in a mere month when he applies himself, didn't spend years training with a woman who could reverse-engineer most jutsu in mere months if not seconds if she put forth the effort. The fact is, Naruto, as you've presented his backstory in this fic, should have destroyed Neji without even needing his trump card. If Precia and Alicia had only shown up shortly before Naruto graduated I could believe he had only progressed this far, but Naruto has already demonstrated time and again that just a little attention from someone competent can result in him making enormous leaps in strength and he has supposedly had years of such a benefit in this story.
Yet now, he was once again reduced to the "loser" who couldn't win against Neji (who has seemingly been powered up big-time for this story with no real explanantion beyond maybe "The Butterfly Effect") without an outside source of power to fall back on. What was the point of all his hard work if it meant absolutely nothing in the end (beyond an improved relationship with the fox that only came about due to a deus ex machina not even related to Precia/Alicia)? If this fic is basically "Naruto, despite superior skill and intelligence, is reduced to relying on his Device and/or Device Kyuubi to win instead of just the Kyuubi", then reading further is basically fluff except for the character interactions. We all know now that his fights with Akatsuki will be nothing more than him being smacked around by opponents who rely on skill and cunning until "REYNARD, LOAD THE CARTRIDGE!"
All-in-all the entire fight was a huge disappointment. We get all these little scenes indicating Naruto now has a brain and knows how to use it and has superior taijutsu, and in the end Neji just ROFLstomps him anyway (you didn't even bother writing the fight until Naruto fell back to relying on his device, which gopes to show that even you felt it would have been boring) until he falls back on his handy deus ex machina to save the day.
I don't even want to get into the sheer ridiculousness of the Hyuuga situation. I'm hoping that it'll be revealed later that no one in Konoha actually believes Hinata will leave the village and that its just a ruse to get Naruto motivated, because if they are actually handing her over to Kumo and she accepts then everybody has just been handed the mother of all idiot balls. Not because Kumo will suddenly be invincible (the Byakugan isn't powerful enough to change the political landscape like that and Precia already gave her reasonings which make sense), but because Hinata is potentially condemning herself to life as a breeding mare on the say-so of someone who has no real authority or influence over her leader. The Raikage could say "I don't care what Yugito promised, rip out her eyes and rape her until she can't make babies any more" and once Hinata's in Kumo no one can do squat about it!
I'm going to keep reading, if only because I hope you'll vindicate yourself with the whole Hyuuga/Kumo mess, but it looks like I'll be skimming the fight scenes to avoid boredom/hair-pulling at Naruto's ultimately fake growth from here on out.