Reviews for Praesul Presul
Ninja Cat chapter 1 . 4/15/2013
i liked it, and your right going from the girls perspective would be cliched, that being said you could write a second chapter and have it as stella's point of view. Personally it seemed a little drawn out and you overlapped a lot on certain view points. It's good don't get me wrong but i bet in a while you'll look back and change things just cuz it will sound better. I was really impressed with your first paragraph how you explained the dancing and made it apparent about what the story was about. Here are a few grammatical error's that i found. due to the fact that I'm a horrible speller and punctuation isn't my strong suit this is all i can do for you.

paragraph 4
sentence 5 you added an is when you didn't need one
you say 'pass off her affect on me' try it as ' brush off her affect one me' it sounds better

paragraph 5
first sentence you don't need the 'is' at the end the sentence works fine with out it, it loses impact

paragraph 6
second last sentence 'within in' you don't need the last in lol

-satori writer-
Stella Lockheart chapter 1 . 3/26/2010
love the metaphor in this piece.
Iris chapter 1 . 11/25/2009
Awesome piece
Selena chapter 1 . 11/25/2009
Love the metaphorical sense of the dance in this.
MonMonCandie chapter 1 . 11/24/2009
Ahaha, you're right. Noctis thinks too much! And might I add, his thoughts are so metaphorical. :D

It's awesome how people can think up of different scenarios of how Noctis and Stella CAN meet before that one scene. Yours is awesome too!

Really liked how the "dance" wasn't really a dance!
Rosa chapter 1 . 11/24/2009
love the oneshot.
AngelWarriors chapter 1 . 11/24/2009
Awe Lovely Onesot, love the last line.