|Reviews for Coming out|
| DarkPheonix 666 chapter 3 . 5/11/2016
| Deltahalo241 chapter 3 . 8/9/2014
Yeah this was OK, I hope you continue it at some stage. I was sure that Tammamin was going to call out "YURI!" at some point though!
| Amakatsu chapter 3 . 9/27/2012
what!? Tell them what! please continue I loooooove it I'll die!
| Sandra Mae chapter 3 . 3/31/2011
oh my gosh a CLIFFHANGER T.T don't do this to me
it's really good tho
| vampirebeast01 chapter 3 . 5/22/2010
what the?NOOOO!CLIFFHANGERS!dammit,why the hell did humans invent that!argh,i want to read more
| Teh Masta Shake chapter 1 . 4/16/2010
Nice! it's just to small :/
| jquackers chapter 3 . 12/15/2009
You should consider playing around with the words. Try switching things up, using different pronouns and nouns so your writing doesn't sound as repetitive.
It still lacks emotion.
The actual coming out part was really rushed, in my opinion. Seeing as to how nervous they were earlier, I'd expect them to take a least a bit more time in doing it, even though they had each other by their side.
The last line makes me wonder.. Are Tamamin and Sugi together? Hahah, interesting.
| jquackers chapter 2 . 12/15/2009
You don't really need the "that" in "...think it's time that we tell our..."
Remember to put commas in your sentences (where they belong).
I thought this was really blunt, in a bad way. There's no emotion, no sense of feeling in it all. Try being more descriptive, and less empty. I also thought the two were OOC. Maybe because of the lack of emotion (especially considering Girl Friends is a very emotional manga).
| jquackers chapter 1 . 12/15/2009
Check your spelling: "form" should be "from"
And it should be "go home together," instead of "went home together."
Also, it should be the Prologue, not the Epilogue. An epilogue is a brief on what happens after a story, whereas a prologue is a brief on the events that had occurred before the story begins.
| Chiyo And Osaka Fan chapter 3 . 12/13/2009
Hope you update soon great story!
| Honulicious chapter 3 . 12/6/2009
i love girlfriends! i wonder why not many write stories for these couples...oh well i hope you cont your work!
| Dinurs chapter 3 . 12/4/2009
I hope this won't be considered a flame since I'm not trying to insult you or anything I just want to tell my opinion. It's kind of hard to really like the story when all there really seem to be too it is direct speach, it feels more like a script then an actually story. I like the idea behind it however and I think that there can come something good out of it :)
Also an epilogue is what happens after the end of the story, prologue is what happens before so unless the first chapter is the ending then you should consider changing it.
| Sir Quacksalot chapter 2 . 12/2/2009
This definitely better then your first fanfic. Plot and grammar has your plot you've added more conflict, which is great. However gunna is spelled gonna (chapter 1). Another problem area is the lines in Chapter 2. It may be a good effect with new lines but make sure you don't over do it. Do elaborate your work and improve on flow.
All in all your work is still rough, but that will be a given as your a beginner. Your work has made major improvement, keep up the good work.
| Z6don of the 327th chapter 1 . 12/2/2009
One complaint: the chapters are extremely short, i mean im sitin here getting into the story and BAM! its done, sorry but i think you need to expand your chapters, other than that its excellent.