|Reviews for The Road to Seireitei|
| iAMhisHOLLYWOODdream chapter 20 . 8/11/2013
| Vheeri The Succubus chapter 5 . 11/28/2011
I'm just going to review at this chapter because it's where I stopped.
You have a decent plot going on here, but it's just not that well put together. Everything is either scattered or rushed through. You mention things like 'when Kenpachi was in Zaraki' for instance. You should have mentioned 'the Zaraki district' for more detail. Another thing this fic is lacking in. It's understandable that OC's get minute details added to themselves, but you could have at least established Kenny's relationship witht hem all more strongly.
Plus, with the other main characters of Bleach, I'm a bit confused. Are you showing Byakuya as how he was when he was still a kid and a hot head? If not, I find him extremely OOC. And a simple attack from Zaraki couldn't do that much damage to him considering how at a young age he was running with Yoruichi (The Godess of Flash herself) of all captains.
I wouldn't say this is a bad fic, but it would be superb with some revision. And seeing as how this is complete, it would still be pretty cool if you had it re-written. I wouldn't really take this personally since this is just my opinion, but still, it could use some work.
Oh yeah, sorry if there's typos in this. I'm nothing without spell check.
| bleach613 chapter 13 . 11/26/2011
First thing - this fic is effing AWESOME! I mean it. It's really funny and very well written.
Second thing - might I be able to write (if I get around to writing)the story of number 4? (Yoruichi vs. gangster over a futon) That's epic inspiration right there!
Once again, epic fic!
| Isangtao chapter 20 . 6/18/2011
Well thought of, but I am not the person to judge, this is the first prequel I have read, but from the looks of it, this is going to turn out even better.
| Thorn In Your Side chapter 4 . 11/21/2010
Random Japanese words like 'baka' can easily be translated to something like 'idjit' and still retain their charm~ and I'd like to see some linebreaks please D:
Also, also~ Sousuke cussing is rather unusual, but your story, your characterization :3 Using the phrase 'playing hero' twice in three or four lines is not cool, though D:
| Thorn In Your Side chapter 3 . 11/21/2010
These terms and things-if you put them in your notes *before* the start of each chapter then I wouldn't feel like an idiot for not getting it once the chapter starts. _"
These first three chapters have been a little dull, and the word 'interesting' has been pressed into service a few too many times. I expect it'll get better because your recent oneshots are pretty awesome :D
"Oishi could shield Kenpachi, the little one and Haruki, but his sin would demand a punishment. Maiko was known to the Soul Society, so she wouldn't escape either. It was galling to think that she'd lose her life because of bad luck and a practical joke gone wrong. He wished he'd never listened to that man."
...maybe I just fail, but I have no clue what that was all about. Did Maiko die? And since Soul Society refers to the entire afterlife, you should use "Seireitei" when talking about Maiko being known to the shinigami as a renegade :/
| St. Harridan chapter 20 . 11/15/2010
Yay! Finally finished!
At least this chapter and the last had those '888' dividers to separate scenarios. I think you might want to read over the whole story again just to check for a few mistakes because I think I've spotted a few.
Kenpachi and Yahiru kick ass!
| St. Harridan chapter 19 . 11/15/2010
I've always wondered about the only person whom Kenpachi admired. I used to fantasize that it was a person whom Kenpachi admired AND grew to love at some point. Poor guy. He may be rogue, but he's got dreams and emotions too. Now he's got Yachiru and they've made it to Seireitei! On to the last chapter!
| St. Harridan chapter 18 . 11/15/2010
Wow. I gotta say that that 11th Division Captain was sort of a pushover. But then, it was most likely that Kenpachi was just too strong for him. Yay, Kenpachi rocks!
| St. Harridan chapter 17 . 11/15/2010
Hehe! Romeo and Juliet! XD True, true, it's highly unlikely a couple can love each other and willingly DIE for each other in the span of three days.
Honestly, I like the chapter title. Step up, step up, step up! It somehow brings to mind an image of Yachiru and Kenpachi dancing to an upbeat song together. XD
| St. Harridan chapter 16 . 11/15/2010
Aww, Yachiru's all grown now and she knows how to choose what's best for not only her, but Kenpachi as well.
| St. Harridan chapter 15 . 11/15/2010
Oh my God, Madarame? Yachiru's guardian? I wouldn't count on that! Yumichika would be a good guardian though. Just thinking out loud. :D
| St. Harridan chapter 14 . 11/15/2010
Oh my God, Kenpachi has yet ANOTHER lover? Ah, the guy doesn't seem to be a celibate one - in his younger days anyway.
| St. Harridan chapter 13 . 11/15/2010
Lol, Kenpachi certainly has a bad reputation but he's AWESOME!
| St. Harridan chapter 12 . 11/14/2010
Haha, Yachiru really loves tormenting Baldy! No hard feelings about torturing the guy. It's fun to read! XD