|Reviews for Rift|
| renielle14 chapter 3 . 10/12/2011
plss update this ty
| sacchan chapter 3 . 7/2/2011
i cried when i read this. idk why.
so, if you're really not resuming this i'll cry damn more.
so please... *begging*
| JustPikachu chapter 3 . 4/23/2011
| Kur0Kishi chapter 3 . 10/10/2010
its been nearly a year since the last update hasnt it. disappointing since this story is pretty good.
| Kur0Kishi chapter 1 . 10/10/2010
A/N: Wow, I just looked through that and realized how much that SUCKED. GAH. - sucked?
i personally found the prologue very interesting. hoping for more maybe.
| angelkaty77 chapter 3 . 12/18/2009
Cool! will ya update it. i know it's going to be Minato, but what's he doing there? Anyways, i have a little idea. Why don't Yosuke at last come to the inn, maybe with a little beautiful disguise and Forced Teddie to cut off his bishounen hair or dye it? Well this fic's yours. whatever u like...
| Kisdota-The Freak Gamer chapter 3 . 12/12/2009
BANDA BAN, REALLY NEED TO WORK ON DESCRIBING THE STORY BETTER, BUT IT'S STILL A NICE CHAPTER,
| BonusParts chapter 3 . 12/12/2009
Some little nice bits between the old Investigation Team. I like that Naoto takes command and start strategizing/interrogating right away; that's a good bit for her. I also liked Rise in this scene - a little bit flaky but the good intentions show through.
The plan to get into the Amagi Inn is a little sketchy, but I'm guessing it's mostly there as plot device to get the characters into interesting situations. :)
I'm curious as to the formatting change for the Souji section of the story, though. Is he supposed to be dreaming of meeting [P3 spoiler]? That would explain the oddness of the meeting.
Overall, pretty good. Keep writing! :)
| BonusParts chapter 2 . 12/3/2009
I really enjoyed the recap of everyone's lives over the past year. (Although, Yosuke sure is forward just to invite himself into Chie's place, even if he did bring steak!) It was a nice choice to have Naoto - with her deductive, analytic mind - observe everyone and make judgments on how much they've changed - or not - since they were the Investigation Team.
The only criticism I have - and this is very minor - is that I think Naoto probably has the biggest bust of all the girls on the team. I don't remember if they ever come out and say that flat-out, but that was the impression that I got from the medical exam results moment in the game. As I said, very minor, but it would change the descriptions of the girls just a bit.
Nicely done - I'm looking forward to seeing what you've got planned for next time!
| Kisdota-The Freak Gamer chapter 2 . 12/2/2009
HMM UH, I LIKED THE STORY, BUT THERE ARE A FEW PROBLEMS WITH IT. I DON'T THINK CHIE OR NAOTO WOULD BE ABLE TO FIGURE OUT THAT THE FEELINGS OF SOUJI AND YUKIKO WOULD AFFECT THE WORLD AROUND THEM THROUGH THE TV WORLD. AT LEAST NOT WITHOUT SOMETHING LEADING THEM TO THINK THAT.
ALOS UH... NAOTO'S NOT BUILT LIKE YOU SAID. BACK AT THE DOCTORS APPOINTMENT IN THE GAME WHEN TEDDIE WAS READING THOSE MEDICAL FILES HE STOLE, IT TURNS OUT THAT NAOTO MAY BE BIGGER THAN RISE.
SORRY TO BE ANNOYING JUST THOUGHT I'D LET YOU KNOW, NICE CHAPTER THOUGH, YAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
| Kisdota-The Freak Gamer chapter 1 . 11/27/2009
YARNDA YARNDA, I LIKED THIS, REALLY GOOD, NEED TO SPACE IT OUT A BIT THOUGH AND WORK ON THE DESCRIPTION THOUGH, CAN'T WAIT FOR THE NEXT PART, YAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
| V-San chapter 1 . 11/27/2009
For only a first chapter, this was good. It flows very nicely and sets itself up well for the upcoming plot.
The account of Yukiko distancing herself becuase she thinks the others are on Souji's 'side', does seem a little bit OOC to me, but it's only a minor detail, so don't worry too much about it.
Looking forward to seeing where this will go from here.
| ME chapter 1 . 11/27/2009
I like it so far! I hope you continue.
| BonusParts chapter 1 . 11/26/2009
I don't think it sucked. :)
However, I don't think it's a good idea to give up on a story before you've really begun. I like that the story takes a different tack from the game, and the plot is about Chie trying to get Yukiko and Souji together again.
I'd like to see you jump a little bit more into how the characters interact...or what kind of plans Chie has to get the two to reconcile...or what's happened to Yukiko and Souji and the rest in the year since the murders.
But it doesn't suck - there are a lot of little moments in there that, if you work on it, can be some rewarding little gems.