Reviews for Condemned Immortality
PhoenixRe chapter 5 . 1/10/2010
Good chapter but basically a note of my mind of a previous comment of mine.

I read it in fanfics here (I don't remember if it is also said in the series) but I would prefer it more if Jack said not that he can't die but more like he can't stay dead (it's a little different if you think about it. The main result is the same but the difference lies to the experience and the fact is that Jack does die every time, he experiences death itself not just pain from the attack/injury/etc)
Pookyilicous chapter 8 . 1/10/2010
It was a brillant Chapter hun. I loved it

Let's hope that everything turns out ok, because if the Volturi find out that that Jack and Gwen know about the vampires; they would want them vampires of dead! :( and that's not good

Pooky x
5SecsOfLARRYcat chapter 8 . 1/10/2010

PhoenixRe chapter 8 . 1/10/2010
Nahh, it was good. We got a little hint about the enemies and their powers and to what exactly happened to Bella. More like a teaser leaving us for wanting more...

About the c*e power... Well, since it's something of a mind power I guess it's a little better but I can't really fit in any of the universes (my mind goes mostly to manga). Well I am not against it, it really depends not to your explanation of it (not that I believe you necessarily need one) For the moment I like to think of it as an illusion that whatever it does you feel it like the twins from the original Twilight series

Tiny errors I noticed (if I am not being a bother):

"It hardly made a different to me" difference
PhoenixRe chapter 7 . 1/9/2010
Ohh, no more chapters.

I cant wait for the next ones.

BTW I am really annoyed with Bella and in general with all the characters like her. What is with all these nonsense of not telling because somehow it is safer when we know it will come back and bite them in their ass... :\
PhoenixRe chapter 6 . 1/9/2010
Amazing cliffhanger

Do you believe in vampires Haha

You are the best
PhoenixRe chapter 4 . 1/9/2010
And the action begins. Cool chapter.
PhoenixRe chapter 3 . 1/9/2010
I cried at CoE and I cried again now. You have a knack for sad/sentimental scenes.

Nice chapter
PhoenixRe chapter 2 . 1/9/2010
Ohh, I am intrigued. And as a bonus hahaha, vampire meets immortal man; well more like vegeterian vampire meets man who can't stay dead. Go team... I am getting goosebumps even thinking it :)
PhoenixRe chapter 1 . 1/9/2010
More like sad and sentimental than grim. I liked it. It pains you but somehow makes curious as to what will happen to her...

I for one think that this beginning draws us in your story. Well done (well the writing, because the story like you said is grim... How could you do it, how could you kill them :_() shaking head in disbelief
BananaBabe903 chapter 7 . 1/7/2010
Keep on writing, girly! :D

A few convention corrections though:

‘Those three new people, they could be the ones that killed you family and Gra-Ebony?’ You're missing a "r" at the end of "youR". :)

First to be plagued with all the problems I’d had during my mortal life, but even as an immoral... there's a "t" in immortal... just a little constructive criticism. Need a beta? ;)
Novindalf chapter 7 . 1/5/2010
Lovely tense chapter :)
BellsAndRoses chapter 7 . 1/5/2010
This chapter was great, you created some genuine suspense! I'm thinking that Bella lying to the team, especially Jack, will have consequences down the line. Update soon!
Pookyilicous chapter 7 . 1/4/2010
Brillant... can't wait for the next... :)

Pooky x
sigh chapter 7 . 1/4/2010
come on, i can't wait until bella tells jack and gwen she's a vampire! please update quickly!
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