|Reviews for Naruto: Rosario Kitsune Rewrite|
| Dark Lord Namikaze chapter 2 . 2/26/2011
Wow dude, great story. I'm definitely looking forward to the next chapters. Is it going to be a harem pairing?
| Druss the Legend chapter 2 . 2/25/2011
friggin' hell! this is an awesome story! scratch that; you're an awesome author!
the Naruto in this story; it's my favorite type! strong and wise.
i'm also glad you did not bring Inner Moka out this time. Nruto is strong, and he does not need Moka to finish his fight for him. i really hope that all the fight involving the main characters like Mizore, Yukari, Ruby and Gin are handled by Naruto himself...so when it's all said and done, their new relationship with Naruto is defined purely by him - without Moka's influence.
like the fight with Kurumu, it was perfect! he fought Kurumu one on one and then he forgave her and ACCEPTED her! i think this is more powerful then what happened in canon. i hope the rest of his encounter with the other girls follow the same pattern.
second, i hope you don't favor Moka too much. in canon, Tsukune always favored Moka over the other girls...despite the fact that she rarely did anything to win his affection - unlike the other girls; she was always ahead. that always frustrated me!
i don't have anything against Moka; but i would prefer she at least work for it. Kurumu, who is a succubus, very cute, very attractive and on top of that, a good cook; should have a a realistic advantage over the other girls. also, i wish Mizore's stalking of her chosen one is not used as a comic element in this story...but more of a strong devotion snow women have for their mates.
to level the playing field for Moka, have Yukari in a little sister role for Naruto, but let Yukari strongly support Moka relationship with Naruto over the other girls. as Outer Moka is too naive and too innocent to even have a proper chance to catch Narutos' heart, she could use a genius's help to use what 'weapons' she has to compete with the other girls. maybe make Yukari a little bit of a pervert, so Kurumu - who is all for using her sex appeal to catch Naruto and Mizore - who is not afraid to show her affection; do not get too ahead in the race. Moka is too naive...who is not even able to admit to herself that she likes Naruto and should fight for him if she wishes to keep him. so if Yukari were to actually help her, instead of trying to sleep with both of them - it'll be more realistic...
last, i like the tone of this story over the canon. the canon is a harem comedy. but the setting is the monster world where the culture is such that the strong kills the weak. i hope as the story progress, Naruto will begin to discover how dark the world really is. a world where your power level (S-class and downward) determines your place in society and your life-expectancy.
while the girls around Naruto may genuinely love him; they are also looking for the strongest man to mate with. perhaps you can make it so that as Naruto is a special human...their children with be the same species as their mom...not a half-breed; making him a more attractive option in the girls eyes and unwilling to relinquish their claim on him.
anyway, i don't want to tell you how your story should go...but i hope this story get darker and more violent and gives a more realistic view of how the monster world should be. Tsukune, after defeating the 'boss' never hears from that opponent again. but i always wondered...what happened to the rest of the organization or gang. he didn't destroy the problem at the root...like in case of Kuyuo. he was defeated...but then what? what happened to the student police? are all the members willing to let go of their power? won't they just run amok trying to consolidate their power without Kuyuo to boss them around?
so i hope your story is not all bells and whistle...that you explore a violent culture and Naruto's growing inner conflict - his sense of justice versus the fact that he believes peace can be achieved through understanding. monsters have naturally violent instinct as he should know, housing the kyuubi and all that...should he forcefully try to change them...like Madara wanted to do with his Moon Eye plan...should he accept them as they are, like he did with Kurumu...
i liked the his interaction with Ms. Nekonomi...and i hope he continue to build a..."satisfying" relationship with her. as was mentioned, "...even though she was the teacher, a part of her knew deep down that she didn't have the strength nor the power to stop them..." so if he showed kindness to her, naturally she will try to seek his protection...i hope :)
Nekonomi is always there in the back grould...she is the homeroom teacher...their club advisor...their supervisor in field trips...it should be too hard to incorporate her into the plot...
Kurumu's power was impressive...i hope she continues to be a major character in this story...and not a hanger on or a damsel in distress. she certainly was powerful enough...and i hope she continues improves...
can you introduce another S-class monster in Naruto's...group...someone to act as a foil to Inner Moka. maybe FEM!Gin or a female OC werewolf. in the manga Inner Moka stood above all the other girls without any worry. she spurned Tsukune's affection while the other girls never wavered in their pursuit. but Tsukune still never looked elsewhere. Naruto is wiser and more experienced...if she were to play hard to get...i dont think he should act all macho and chase after her like a puppy... Inner Moka should also have to fight to keep her place in Naruto's eyes...
whoa...huge review. i'll sign off here in case i have over step bu bounds...
but it is a great story and i hope you give it a little more attention...
| Hakkyou no Yami chapter 2 . 2/23/2011
...just...just when I thought I was reading a Baddass Naruto THIS happens.
dude...I am not insulting you or your writing skills and I understand that this is your story and I have no right to tell how to right it.
but I want to ask...how can Naruto so easily forgive her? she had a great point and he should have avoided her like a plague for she had done AND WILL DO.
you saw how she would try AGAIN to take Naruto from Moka and we both know she would use ANY means that is necessary to get her so called Destined mate.
she is doing it in canon...and she will do it here...after all Succubus are all about their Desires.
I still say Naruto should have slaughtered her right there, in essence...she had tried to RAPE him.
BTW she had kissed him while he is under the effect of her charm...how come he is not her Slave?
plus how the hell did she gave NARUTO of all people such a hard time when he is a season warrior and a War Veteran...did he hold back THAT MUCH? and why did he hold back when he looked like he is READY to kill her once he snapped out from her wretched charm...plus since she attacked Moka, Naruto SHOULD have killed her...after all he did sense murderous intent.
I am sorry if I seemed flaming or insulted you in anyway...it's just out of all the girls in RosarioVampire I hated Kurumo the most...for her action...Tsukune was VERY VERY naive and still is...Naruto is not from I saw.
| DragonMaster4872 chapter 2 . 2/23/2011
AWESOME! PLEASE UPDATE SOON!
| Killjoy3000 chapter 2 . 2/22/2011
ok wow you got a new fan
| karthik9 chapter 2 . 2/22/2011
it is excellent chapter i look forward to future updates
| Fumetsu Kaji chapter 2 . 2/21/2011
This is a very interesting story. I love Naruto in this. Wounder how he got those marks across his eye lid? I look forward to see what happens next!
| Liger01 chapter 2 . 2/21/2011
that was pretty hot chapter, well update soon.
| Akira Stridder chapter 2 . 2/21/2011
so basically almost or all people from the school are more powerful than the canon...hmmmm
| Akira Stridder chapter 1 . 2/21/2011
| yellow Flash44 chapter 2 . 2/21/2011
Great stuff so far! Hope you keep it up!
| sunwraith chapter 2 . 2/20/2011
Good story. Get a beta though to catch the small mistakes
| naruhina fan chapter 2 . 2/20/2011
I gotta say this is one of the best NarutoxRosarioVampire fics I've read. So I take it what happened will eventually be explained in a full flashback? And I mean everything, like...HOW THE FUCK IS NARUTO USING TECHNIQUES FROM AKATSUKI MEMBERS? So far, he's used Itachi's crow...thing, Konan's paper...thing, Deidara's Exploding Clay Clone, and I even saw him use one of Deidara's catch phrases once! Not that I mind. Personally, especially after reading a story with "Perfect Chimera" in the title, I don't mind Naruto using their techniques. Btw, I suggest the story I just mentioned if you're not already reading it, it's kickass!
| fsdfasefe chapter 2 . 2/20/2011
Awesome ! can't wait for more!
| Raidentensho chapter 2 . 2/20/2011
this is awesome! i really can't wait for more of this. the lime is so scoring you brownie points and reviews. until then, ja!