Oh. This chapter left me feeling sad - Aurora feeling so alienated from everyone else (even though she does deserve it, mostly). You've done a wonderful job of showing just how NOT easy it must be to be in her position, commanding people who don't know her (or who actively despise her). The idea of Nathaniel and Anders conspiring against her was gut-wrenching for me. (Partly because it's so hard for me to imagine, based on my own playthroughs of Awakening. I've never felt my warden to be an "outsider" there). It absolutely works in your story, though, and it's very interesting to consider how it would have worked had Caron been the one there during Awakening. I find myself being a bit scared of Anders, for Aurora's sake. Finally, I love the dynamic between Loghain and Aurora - it keeps shifting, which makes it hard to predict what either of them will do next, which keeps things interesting (while still being in character, for both of them). The way she crawled into his bed at the end of the chapter . . . *sniffle* . . . that broke my heart just a tiny bit. They are just both so darned stubborn, aren't they? :D

Anyhow, fantastic chapter! This story continues to be an absolute pleasure to read.

This interlude is lovely. It always bothers me in the game that no one in Denerim seems to know the Cousland warden. Her father was a teryn - was it really possible that he NEVER brought her to court? Of course he brought her to court (and people from Denerim would have visited Highever from time to time). And of course young Cousland and Habren would have HATED one another. So, this was perfect. I also loved the way you wove in the City Elf story (Death and the Maiden is a FANTASTIC story, isn't it?), and I'm glad to think that we'll be seeing Rilian again in the future.

I adore this chapter! From Loghain sleeping during Chantry services, to Sebastian (whom I really don't like that much, in the game, but his addition here was lovely). And when they came upon Hawke in the Deep Roads . . . YES! Absolutely perfect. Carver is such a puppy.

Oh my! Aurora really is painting herself into a corner, isn't she? I loved this chapter. Aurora's skillsets, forced into a new, unfamiliar role; her frustration that people won't simply be what she wishes them to be. Best of all, her childish bravado in making that scene over the porridge!

Yes, she is acting out, and one has to remember how young she really is. Nor will she take Loghain's wise advice, because she once beat in him a duel! (and you give us that painful last memory of her father, which explains so much about her problems with accepting Loghain's fatherly aspect in their relationship) Her noble background might help her run the arling, but is of no use with the Wardens, where she is really only the first among equals. You do such a splendid job of portraying her thought processes. That she looks upon her Wardens as underlings whom she can whip if they displease her is of a piece with her allowing herself the idea of setting the darkspawn on her villages if they are disobedient. She is suffering and out of her depth, and she will have to find her way herself. And the fact that Cauthrien is there is not helping. Loghain's most innocent-and most proper-attempts to train the Wardens with Cauthrien's assistance obviously would call forth the most unpleasant memories and associations. Really wonderfully well done!

Oh dear, what is she doing. Alienating herself from the rest of her men/women is not going to work. To be a leader one needs to do so from the front, not behind closed doors and in hiding.

I do wish she realised also that the last words her father spoke to her were not meant to hurt. We all say things in the heat of the moment, and his words were meant to spur her on, to pull her out of her fugue state and get her going.

Bless her I do hope she overcomes all the pain and disbelief she has in herself and puts the needs of her people above anything else.

There is so much to do and she can't do it on her own, no-one can.

Thanks for a wonderful episode.

Take care

Naomi xxx

Oog...

One of my mother's favorite comments was 'her eyes are too big for her stomach'. Dare we say the Warden's pride is too big for hers? ;) Shame on Nathaniel & Anders - neither of them are showing themselves in a particularly good light. Grudge against the Warden or no, I agree with the description of their treatment of Carver as bullying. Been on the receiving end of that sort of thing far too often.

Awesome Loghain is awesome, of course. Many things that needed to be said. Withal, Aurora's view certainly has validity; it's the no-win situation of management - balancing politics with actually running the business.

The psychological impact on a solitary warden is truly intriguing (and rather a metaphor for Aurora's approach to life as a whole). Perhaps this is one of the reasons Alistair went from being the reassuring, competent trainer in the Korcari Wilds before Ostagar to the whiney, clingy follower afterwards; he had had time to become accustomed to that hive mind and the sudden loss would be devasting on top of his personal history.

Well written chapter. Very sad. But well written. I like your Warden more now than I thought I would. She is very human and I can see a lot of myself in her.

Aww, poor Aurora. While obviously very different situations, I gotta admit I have had several periods like this-I'm kinda still in one now; where in stubbornness I withdraw from the world and languish in depression until loneliness eventually pushes me out again. Unfortunately I don't have a hot older gentleman to curl up with when the exile becomes unbearable.

That being said, I'm hilariously social & willing to please in these games, and knowing how wonderful Anders and Nathaniel can be, I hope this tension doesn't last TOO long! Aurora used to get along with almost everyone, and now her traumatic experiences in Orlais & Weisshaupt seem to have sent her back to square one (or perhaps in her vulnerable state a little too much Loghain rubbed off on her XD).

Oh, and now this sudden corruption ghost-pain added to the pile, you've got me pretty worried, girl :

You are a master. Each chapter I think, "Hm, Akeras, what does she have in store?" And then you go and knock my socks off. This chapter isn't any different and I think it is to date one of your best "character" pieces. This is the chapter where all the pieces about Aurora fall into place.

You have built a heroine that has changed drastically from the first moment we saw her. At first I thought Aurora was quite an unassuming, pleasant young woman. As time progressed, you began to strip away layers of her outwardly pleasant demeanor, and you showed us that she is strong. Then you put her through situations that forced her to reevaluate her own world view, and like a human being, she adapted. She became colder. Less trusting. To compensate for a lack of human warmth, she began to create it herself. She listened to rumors about her legend, and began to concoct her own. And the brilliant thing about it is - I don't know where this Aurora begins, and the previous Aurora ends. She's sullen, moody, tyrannical, but I know she's brave, kind, and loyal to a fault as well. She's just great.

And then you have this chapter which just rips your poor character to shreds. I love it - I enjoy seeing Aurora stripped down as much as I adore seeing her built up. Yet, I don't WANT her to be everyone's best friend, and thankfully it doesn't seem you'll be going that route: at least from what you've told me. Let her keep her faults, but let her come to terms with them. If she stops being Little Miss Warden at heart, you will make me very, very sad.

Aurora and Nathaniel - I am shipping them in my head like nobody's business! I applaud you for making Aurora do something daring, and then suffering the consequences of her actions. It makes this story that much more realistic, because every action has a reaction. No one gets away with rude or bitchy behavior - everyone's going to pay the price sooner or later. I also lol'd at Aurora's anger at Loghain's audacity, "kicking me in the head, what if I was dead!" He's a smooth one, isn't he?

Also: you just about ripped my heart out with Bryce's last words to Aurora. You set up all these scenes that show just how wonderful this dynamic father/daughter relationship is, and then you just ripped it away with that last line. I can't imagine thinking that those were my dad's last words. And I bet Loghain couldn't imagine that his father might say those words to him, or that he would say them to Anora. You really gave yourself SO MUCH stuff to play with that line alone, it is just so cleverly done. I'm dying to see where you go with that, if you explore it further. You've got so many different motifs that I find it hard to believe that this is fanfiction and not published fiction.

Loved this chapter. Definitely one of my favorites.

poor aurora. I hope she gets out of her rutt soon.

Excellent! Is it time for some persanal growth for the warden?

Hey - I can't believe you got this one up today! I'm so happy - I thought I'd have to wait a few more days at least... :) And this is a magnificent chapter. The dynamic between Aurora and her Wardens is fascinating: I do love that you portray Anders as ganging up with Nate to bully Carver...I always suspected he'd been one of those horrible "cool kids" at the Tower :)

Aurora's nightmare - waking up in a cold sweat with (phantom?) pain is quite chilling - even gothic, with her feverish hallucination of black-veined corruption, and there was a nice symmetry between Aurora's aloneness here and the loneliness of power.

The conversation between Loghain and Aurora on the nature of leadership was thought-provoking. I know you've had this scene in mind for a long time, and it was so beautifully realised. It's very true that Aurora - who was set to play Joan of Arc when she planned to make the US - could not have maintained that level of adoration over time. She would eventually have fallen and overreached: as many brilliant young leaders/celebrities do. You paint a very real picture of the temptations and pitfalls of power. I've worked for young bosses like that - and been one myself! Seeing her in full BAMF mode with the porridge was awesome - and Nate, you naughty boy, I think I know what the porridge WAS spiked with! - if only she could have maintained the upper hand. Sulking like Achilles in her room was rather poignant: shades of Bryce's stroppy teenager, and of a woman too proud to cry...

It was evil to lead us on with the wonderful father-daughter dynamic in the previous Interlude, only to hit us with Bryce Cousland's last words. Poor, poor Aurora - I understand her so much better now. And, it is just me, or is there a parallel between that awkward parting, and Loghain's missed opportunity with his own father: that painful moment in which he fails to say goodbye to Gareth Mac Tir? One thing is certain: no wonder Loghain was shocked. He would NEVER have said such a thing to Anora, not even facing execution after her betrayal.

This: "disconnected from the larger whole, she felt disoriented, light headed, and there was a buzzing in her ears that would not go away. The Warden - Aurora - loved herself, perhaps more than humility and modesty allowed; but in the silence, in the vacuum of her thoughts, she could not stand her own company. It was lacking; she was, in some way, lacking. She was disappointing. She was disappointed. She wondered if she loved herself extra hard to make up for the deficit around her" is the greatest glimpse into being a Grey Warden I've read, and also a heart-rending look at this powerful, sexy, lonely young woman. There are times I just want to give Aurora a hug... Loghain's exasperated tenderness was touching too.

Fantastic chapter...can't wait for the next!

Perhaps the most telling moment was Bryce's

Nice. . . Why have her eat all of that stuff, though? I'm slightly confused _

Thanks for the update!

K9

Aurora's definitely in over her head. I don't know if she thinks she's Fereldan or Ferelden. Being the Hero doesn't automatically grant you a free pass in everything. That sense of entitlement is totally the noble in her talking. And of course being basked in accolades and admiration for a time would blow up anyone's ego, and more so for a woman who had a privileged upbringing. Now here's a perfect opportunity for character building and who's better suited for that job than the one closest to her? Loghain's words were sensible. Yes, respect has to be earned. I'm glad Aurora's finally listening and realizing her own shortcomings after sulking in self-pity. Her road to becoming the BAMF Commander we know in Worth is that much clearer. I love that she's imperfect and still has much to learn. It makes me feel like I'm growing up with her as she tries to fit into her new roles, and that makes for an engrossing tale.

Brilliant chapter, Icey! Stay cool in the heat and don't you dare fizzle out! ;)

Aww. poor Aroura. Take care of her Loghain!