|Reviews for A Garment of Brightness|
| azizah chapter 19 . 4/24/2010
Sorry, never meant to take this long
Edward is still hunting her, even though he might think it is something else. I do feel sorry for him, a day in the life of a typical teenage girl, ugh. What is he being punished for? But a perfect characterization of the teenage Jessica type. Great job.
The words of that poem are beautiful, I will have to check it out.
…the land I had lost with my childhood…
like Edward’s lost humanity.
Feel like you’re being watched even when you’re all alone? Welcome to the world of miaokuancha (still ratna to me) where everything lives and breathes. Seriously, I do love this about your writing. You have a talent for making people and things transcend form, not all as obvious as this of course.
He has folded himself close to the ground, become a bud again, compact and hard and unborn
I have to say the word unborn is brilliantly perfect (perfectly brilliant?) here.
hard and unborn, but maybe about to be reborn?
Beautiful as always.
| michellecampa chapter 17 . 4/23/2010
I like the different twist its so so... I dont know but I love this verson of twilight its a wonderful addition to my fav's I love reading it. Good job I CANT wait to read more!
| Raewright chapter 19 . 4/9/2010
What a unique and beautifully written point of view!
| JordiNicole11 chapter 18 . 4/8/2010
Wow! another great chapter :] The poem you added was fantastic and created more depth... it was great how you worked in Edward's own thoughts around and into the poem. I cant wait for the next chapter! Amazing details too! Youre a great writer :]
| LadyExcalibur2010 chapter 18 . 4/8/2010
Beautiful poem and a lovely chapter. It's always interesting to see how two different people can interpret the same events and come up with something completely different! As always, I commend you on your characterization of Bella, who is vastly preferable in your universe, LOL!
| azizah chapter 17 . 4/7/2010
I read this twice so I could come up with something other than wow to say. But I am stuck. Uh, wow. duh!
“The image flickers past in a flash, dim and uncertain, shaded in umbers, as if some old daguerreotype. It's impossible. A mistake. An illusion. There is no way that it can be true. And still I am jealous. Why does Alice get to see a vision of such sweet affection, when all that I can see – and feel and taste and smell – is my teeth making carnage of a tender throat, and Bella's lifeblood pulsing into my eager mouth? It's not fair.”
This is just a beautiful paragraph, and really, what I have been waiting for. Just a little start, maybe. This is where I was not convinced in the original.
Your Edward is less human, which is what I am so enjoying in this story. Oh, he understands beauty and family, he has a conscience, but no human heart beneath that perfect exterior. What will it take to change that?
“The blush that rose there was the exact color of Bella's cheeks right now.
"Edward! Pay attention!"
" F- !"
I have never said that word before.
My foot transfers from the accelerator to the brake barely in time to bring the car back to a speed at which it can just make the turn ahead without careening into the woods. The tires scream against the wet asphalt, and for a moment I truly fear that I will wreck this fine machine. Behind us in the jeep, Emmett lets out an entirely unnecessary war whoop, as we in the Volvo skid on the razor's edge of complete loss of control. Emmett and Rosalie fly past us, Emmett's fist and middle finger raised in an utterly puerile gesture, as I grind to a stop on the shoulder, choking on gouts of venom.”
Long quote I know, but the beginning and the end are important. Edward is losing his control in more ways than one. And your Emmett makes me laugh.
| Scared-Like-Me chapter 17 . 3/29/2010
Ohh, Edward is a stalker...again...jeez. But he loves her..or he will, o whatever.
I loved it, the way ou write edwards mind is beter than SM coudl do herself..and he's her character...
Update soon please...
| Raewright chapter 17 . 3/26/2010
I am stalking the Swan girl.
No jury would convict me.
I do it purely in self-defense.
I love how slightly unhinged this comes across!
| LadyExcalibur2010 chapter 17 . 3/26/2010
As always, your skill and way with words draws the reader in, making us a part of the story because we get so caught up in it. Edward's thoughts are so...well, Edward. I don't know how else to say it. This seems much more realistic than the canon version, but then you're well aware of my thoughts on that issue. I won't beat a dead horse here. Anyway, yet another stunning chapter.
| Scared-Like-Me chapter 16 . 3/18/2010
Amazing, just amazing, the wau it flows so smoothly, the way i'd imagine Edward would think, and spek. I really love this story, so please update soon.
| LadyExcalibur2010 chapter 16 . 3/15/2010
I like seeing the relationships between the Cullens when they aren't around "the humans." Their love and care for each other is lovely to behold. Yet another wonderful installment in your tale.
| Raewright chapter 16 . 3/15/2010
So was Alice just trying to kill time or make a point?
Thanks for the update.
| azizah chapter 15 . 3/9/2010
Okay, I am back.
Wow, this chapter (14) does such a great job of showing how far from human these creatures really are, only a hint or two that they even have human emotions, maybe.
“The kind of evening that makes anyone with a heart in his chest ache for its beauty.”
This made me laugh..“Get over yourself Edward. Do or do not. There is no try.” Tee hee, you are a very funny girl
The whole chapter is edgy enough to put the future in doubt (except I am pretty sure you won’t go that au).
But the ending sums it up perfectly "How sure is 'pretty sure'?"
And Alice and Jasper are perfect. My favorites from the original.
And then the ordeal. Bella’s rather normal every day high school “what is his problem” issues contrast rather starkly with the Edward’s to kill or not to kill dilemma unfolding just across the room.
Lauren made me laugh...
"She did a double take worthy of Loony Tunes. Then she glanced back at Edward – NO, don't look at him, ah Jesus Christ! – and then back at me. She actually sniffed at the side of my neck, and wrinkled her nose a little bit, then shook her head."
"He's just a dumbass."
while across the room...
“I hold my breath, and hate that girl. Yes, I hate her with a fervent passion. Why did she have to be born? Or if she simply had to be born, why couldn't she just stay in Phoenix where she belonged, where her path and mine would never, ever cross?
And as if God himself has appointed her my personal nemesis, her mind is closed to me. I cannot hear a single thought. Not even a whisper.”
Beautiful work, can’t wait for more.
| JordiNicole11 chapter 15 . 3/2/2010
Again, another fantastic chapter :] You're attention to detail is amazing- something that many fanfics lack. They progress through the action too fast. You draw it out for the readers and paint a clearer picture for us. Thank you! and I'm glad you found your muse again :] chocolate chip cookies always help!
| Scared-Like-Me chapter 15 . 2/26/2010
Ahh, this is so good, i could promise that if this was Twiihgt, i would love it ten -maybe 20- times more thn i ever liked twilight itself. this was amazoing so far, i mean fantastic, keep it up, i really cannot wait for you to update!