|Reviews for Hotter in Jerusalem|
| Nekomata19 chapter 1 . 2/16/2012
I'll never be able to go into a grocery store again without thinking of this *sighs*. Awesome story though!
| Shadow Cat17 chapter 1 . 12/13/2009
| Touch of the Wind chapter 1 . 12/1/2009
| krissy7490 chapter 1 . 11/29/2009
Holy Hannah! That was so... naughty! :)
I will never be able to walk around a grocery store again without thinking about this story. And I thank you for that! ;)
| Anime-Romancer777 chapter 1 . 11/28/2009
OMFG!...they have no thought of DECENCY! XD last time was in a CHURCH! Now in a store! Goodness! XD they are like jack rabbits! XD But I still love them!
| Chikan666 chapter 1 . 11/28/2009
Firstly, I want to say that I hate you! We have no ice cream in the house, and you talking about it, has had me CRAVING for ice cream for the past hour and a half. Gr to you! No, I don't hate you... but I'm seriously having ice cream cravings because of you. Feel guilty! Anyways, on with the review.
I like how you had Dean seemingly teasing Castiel with the Busty Asian Beauties magazine and how Castiel (as always) didn't understand the joke, and so he took Dean very seriously. I especially love Castiel's response, to whether or not the girls were pretty enough. "They’re not you, Dean". That made me smile and 'aww' at it. He's so cutely honest, and that is what I love about how you play Castiel. He's naturally honestly cute, and you just prove it time and time again. It's like he's the clueless honest. He doesn't realize the meaning behind his words, sometimes.
It's interesting to see Castiel speaking with an old person, even if it is for a moment or two. I think that Castiel would probably be good with elderly people. *shrug* Maybe a little better than Dean or Sam at least. He seems to always be seeking knowledge, more so on human nature, but knowledge none-the-less. Generally old people are related with being wise and having a surplus of knowledge to share. Anyways, I liked Castiel's comment that it is hotter in Jerusalem, but I think that I liked Dean scolding him a little more. XD
"He’s a little more than that, I’d say." That made me smile and aww again. Even more so with Castiel's response. It seemed that he was just as touched as I was, maybe even more so. Either way, it was a nice add to the story and truly loved.
Something else that I loved, and have yet to mention, is the detail that you put into that damned squeaky shopping cart. I was really taken in with the story from the start, because of how well you depicted that faltered wheel. I know from personal experience how they force the cart to go in every direction, except where you want it to go. There should be a law against Grocery stores having broken shopping carts! Again, I loved the detail. It was as if I was watching a movie of it.
Dean being taken aback by Castiel hug was really cute! I liked how you included his thoughts on how he felt about the hug. More specifically, that he wasn't as embarrassed about PDA (Public Display of Affection) as he had thought that he would have been. It is nice to get a character's opinion on things, without it being a First Person story. You add just enough dialogue, action, and thought mixed into one recipe to make a VERY tasty story. XD
I think my most favorite line in this story would be Dean's enthusiastic childish remark, "Oh look, Cas, ice cream! Can we get some?" I can imagine a kid jumping up and down and pointing at something that they really want their parent to get them. That's kinda what I had in mind with Dean at this part. It makes me smile even as I write about it. Castiel's reply was exactly what I would expect a parent to respond with, "If we must." I know that you were trying to portray some sort of parent/child relationship here and if you weren't... lie and say that you were. Lol
Thank you for including Jimmy into the story. He might not have been in control, but his opinion and well-being was still present. Castiel considered that Jimmy liked toffee, and Dean was worried that Jimmy might starve. They still think about him from time to time and I appreciate you adding him in every so often.
It's interesting, that the risk of being caught doing something (i.e. kissing your lover) in public, can make an individual so aroused. Just like we had spoken about before, the rush/thrill/adrenaline is an amazing blast, even though I don't think I've ever had a sexual rush/thrill/adrenaline blast at the possibility of being caught. *shrug* It works in the same chemical fashion anyways.
There was one thing in particular that I want to give you kudos for. "His (Castiel's) hand enclosed Dean’s, slid it between their bodies until his fingers were pressed snugly against Castiel’s own erection." Somethings cannot be expressed in words, and a simple, "I'm horny too." Doesn't always suffice when talking about your own arousal. If nothing else, sometimes, especially in public, it is embarrassing to say things like that out loud. I want to give you kudos for that line, it was REALLY hot!
LOL, you could use this as a Duracell commercial or something! I'm sure that people, after reading this story, will probably prefer Duracell over just about any other brand. I want you to know, that every time I walk into the Grocery store and see a Duracell battery, I'll be thinking of this story. XD
I think I want to change my mind... and split my kudo points in half. One half for the previous kudo comment, and the other half for this sentence, "The angel pushed his d!ck against Dean’s lips insistently, pleading whines sounding in his throat as he smeared pre-cum over Dean’s lips in shining strands, until Dean finally gave in and opened his mouth fully." I think that you might have used a line similar to this in a previous story, but I don't think I made a point to tell you, that it is seriously hottly sexy!
While we're discussing a previous story, I want to make ONE complaint. You made one repeat in the story and it probably couldn't have been helped. "Castiel looked down, and stifled a moan at the sight pf Dean’s lips stretched wide around his c0ck" - "Castiel’s pretty lips stretched wide around his c0ck" I really don't like to complain, honestly, but this is probably the only thing that stuck out as mildly repetitive. Again, it probably couldn't have been helped, seeing as that is one of your... 'calling card techniques' that you use in an oral sex scene. Seeing that you had two blow jobs to describe, it is understandable that you used it twice.
Enough complaining, I want to talk about something that I did like. "Dean’s fingers dug and twisted painfully into Castiel’s thighs" That was kinkily hot, and leads me to believe that you might have a possible pain fetish. XD Anyways, that was a really depictingly hot sentence. I bow my head to your awesomeness.
I think another sentence that I liked, "tidying the fabric until they looked halfway presentable." A lot of people forget, when doing a public sex scene, or any sex scene for that matter, your hair gets sweaty-messed up, your clothes get tousled and frumpy... so naturally, the characters will need to straighten up a little before re-entering public. At least, most people try to look as inconspicuous as possible... It's only natural that they'll try to 'hide the evidence'.
It was cute how Dean was jealous of the cashier eyeing Castiel, what was even cuter was how Castiel was slightly surprised. Even though it is a natural reaction, for him to be surprised, but it was nice that you pointed that out... we more so.. that you wrote it into the story. XD
I think that I liked Dean's explanation as to what took them so long, "Unforeseen circumstances" but I think what I loved the most, was the image of Castiel happily scooping his ice cream in the back seat of the Impala. You should have given him a brain freeze or something.
| 494dwangel chapter 1 . 11/28/2009
| Guardain Angel XD chapter 1 . 11/28/2009
Go Castiel and Dean, you hotties you;D
| rikalynch chapter 1 . 11/28/2009
I think that was honestly the most adorable thing I've ever read. Way to go! :)
| williewildcat chapter 1 . 11/28/2009
Damn! Now that would make my trip to the grocery store a bit more interesting... :)