|Reviews for Laid Bare|
| TrillionSchiffer chapter 30 . 5/18
Yea... I suppose you were right... there really wasn't much more to be discussed. Good place to call it quits.
| TrillionSchiffer chapter 21 . 5/18
Really liked JB response in this chapter. Felt 'REaL'
| TrillionSchiffer chapter 20 . 5/17
Great Jpov addition... It was a nice break from the ExB sexathon. The revelations that Sam had designed for Bella to transform from a good girl with opportunities into a trophy hood rat, was a nice touch. I see that kind of thing happen all the time. Ppl don't know how to turn off 'a good time' and keep looking for it while forgetting to do the work they were supposed to. Then 5yrs pass, and every opportunity they 'could've' had gone to the person who kept their focus on the Goal.
I am glad JB was secretly looking out for her... While of course, still trying to Bed her like everyone else. lolol
Dannnmmmm... SMh. She just had to go and open her big mouth.
"Tell me where it hurts?" -Edward. Ahhh how about the area where the bone is sticking out? Like DUH? I thought they were supposed to be sharper minded? Guess the hell not.
I never knew shame to block out the pain of a bone sticking out of you... Bella laying there, not feeling the bone sticking out of her skin, and just feeling shame, didn't read as plausible to me.
Sorry... that may need to be revisited.
This not looking at Edward after 19 chapters of Affirmation that they will be there for one another, was unneccesary drama added upon an already high point of drama. Sorry that could've come next chapter or waited a few chapters. It was badly timed to my mind.
Good chapter... It moved the needle.
| TrillionSchiffer chapter 18 . 5/17
More sex... more relationship status affirmations. More "I see the good in myself now." -from Edward & "You showed/gave me my place in this world" from Bella
Honestly a drinking game is in order. Can't count how many times I've read that line since chapter 4.
| TrillionSchiffer chapter 15 . 5/17
Jeeeeessssssuuuuussssssssss CHRIST! 15 chaps of "AFFIRMATIONS"
We get it, you're in love. *SEX* You're the only one for each other. *SEX* There will be no one else. *SEX* You will sacrifice for what you have. *SEX*Etc *SEX* Etc *SEX* Etc... I think we've got it.
Sorry... but I find I have to skim over the smut to TRY and find the PLOT and or DIREcTION of where this is all going. And just when I think I've got dialogue... It is just more 'affirmation' and pillow talk because all they do is have sex all the damn time.
Not that it wasn't good. but Dammnnn I get it already... now is there a story in here or not?
| TrillionSchiffer chapter 14 . 5/17
"You're faster, but he is stronger than you." -Alice to Edward
Ahhhh SO? He faces Emmett all the damn time. What does it matter that James is stronger? "
There should have been more of a fight than there was from Edward... What was there was really weak? Sure he was in a predicament, but that was only because he 'allowed' James to put him there.
There were many things he could've done as James crept his way towards Bella... But his balls were sucked so far back into his body, it was like he was choking on them.
He is right... He failed as a mate. ABSOLUTELY Failed. In EVERY way possible.
1Pt for Emoward
| mamaruti chapter 30 . 5/15
Wow! What an emotionally exhausting but at the same time exhilarating read! The way you created their burning passion and literal need for each other was amazing, and I applaud you for your incredible writing talent!
| Guest chapter 15 . 5/2
If I was Bella I would not want Victoria around knowing she was Edward's first sexual experience
| Guest chapter 8 . 5/2
You should.d have kept them as virgins before they met each other
| MelenePandora chapter 30 . 4/2
Good and well-written twisty story, but could have been better, I agree with Luereetwilitejunki and PAT2024..
| Luereetwilitejunki chapter 30 . 3/12
I loved this story, I am just sorry it ended here. I wish you could write a chapter to show how Charlie finds out she died. And maybe the first hunt. Thanks for sharing this with us!
| Guest chapter 1 . 12/19/2017
this would have been good if Edward wasn't a skank that bought prostitutes and bella wasn't an idiot. Having Bella be fake for no reason...really served only to make me not like her.
| PAT2024 chapter 30 . 12/1/2017
The idea of this devastating and all consuming passion was a good start, but I am a bit frustrated because of the lack of plot. It’s pages after pages of lemons and senseless desperation, but not much in between. It could have been a great story, I almost abandoned it several times, but I was curious to see if something significant would happen. And in fact not much happens: we don’t see much interactions with the family, what will be her power, what was the purpose of such an intense relationship ? I’m probably missing something, although you write well, this story is lacking too much to be a great story. I have the feeling that I have lost my time reading it, expecting much more.
Thanks and all the best.
| Twifanfictionrec chapter 1 . 10/5/2017
Hi, your story has been posted on Instagram twilight fan fiction recommendation page ( twifanfictionrec). Full review as below:
I have probably read hundreds of different versions of the story between a vampire and a human, however, I can without a doubt say that this is one of the best versions. A VERY intense love story between Edward and Bella, as they navigate their way through lust, love and the wolves. This fiction gives you that sensuality and sexuality we relate vampirism with. I promise your life is incomplete until you have read this fiction. If not for the plot line, definitely read for the lemons therein, cs it will leave you wanting more. Vampireward/Humanella
| Guest chapter 4 . 7/29/2017
Bellas really fucking weird in this...and Edwards kinda a loser. Bellas all damaged because her mom died? AND? shes still got her dad and friends fucking whiny pussy...they all leave...no one ever stays...I mean one person didn't stay LOL...what a fucking child