Reviews for Sweet Grass
chubbyass chapter 1 . 5/17/2010
hey, your ideas are really great, but your writing is a bit hard to follow.

for example:

"She's happy for Gaara because he finally is."

This IS a sentence (more than most fanfic writers can brag about ;-P ) BUT it is very unclear. Right here, you are saying that Gaara exists. But did he not exist before he became kazekage? i don't think he was some freaky illusion looking for a body...(well, freaky yes, but still not an illusion) So yeah, he existed, but you are trying to say more than that. Perhaps that he's found himself again, something of that sort, right? So i suggest for your next fanfics, that you read over your story again, as though you were the ignorant reader, and clarify little things like that. i swear it will make a hUuUuUuUgE difference!

AND HOORAY FOR SUGAR! i swear i'm addicted to that stuff...
ihatewriting chapter 1 . 12/17/2009
Bwah write more! Temari-centric stories are so rare!
Megami.Ze chapter 1 . 12/1/2009
This is a truly wonderful little oneshot. The flowing of it was very poetic and it sounded so natural. It was descriptive yet wasn't so blatantly obvious that it felt like you were hit in the face with a bat.

I love how you interpreted Temari's emotions, they flowed well and really seems like it came from the heart. I also love how Shikamaru was so in character, so cool and aloof Isn't that why we love him. I also thought his reactions were pretty spot on.

Overall, really great oneshot, and it displays you natural talent very well. I hope to read more ShikaTema from you in the future.

P.S Hey, Temari could like melon :P
Blood Lady chapter 1 . 11/30/2009
Cute, and quite well done; just a few missing words here and there like "into (a) healthy and beautiful flower." No major errors otherwise. Keep up the good work.

Blood Lady
existence555 chapter 1 . 11/28/2009
This was really sweet.

I liked the part about her wanting her mother especially, because really, every person needs their mother at some point, even the hard shelled Temari.

And Shikamaru totally would do that. No matter how troublesome he thought it was.

Nice job, this was a pleasure to read.