|Reviews for Fictionista Workshop WitFit Writing Prompts|
| charlenecher728 chapter 3 . 12/21/2009
All I am able to say is WOW.
I haven't read a fic that was set during times of war, they never interested me.
But now, they do.
Everything was so intense and deep, it's almost not possible for us.
I love this. Thank you.
| TeacupHero chapter 6 . 12/21/2009
Can't wait for the next part of this prompt!
| Raven Jadewolfe chapter 6 . 12/21/2009
wow Victoria is one fucking crazy bitch lol
| mugglemom08 chapter 6 . 12/20/2009
| Edlovesme chapter 6 . 12/20/2009
That was awesome I so glad the story is going to continue.
| Rochelle Allison chapter 6 . 12/20/2009
oh man. this had ~my~ stomach clenched. it's... really stressful. (i like that of course; it's the same demented part of me that watches 'criminal minds' and gets freaked out so then i need to read happy things before bed. ha!) anyway, this was deliciously evil, and victoria really is a head case.
and while your unraveling of the story is masterful, it's the italicized memories that truly make the story. it bonds me to both this edward and his bella...
so i'm guessing officer hale (rose?) is good, and not in on the evil plan.
| naelany chapter 6 . 12/20/2009
looking forward to reading more. Both of the witfit and the Hope May Vanish _
| my2galspal chapter 6 . 12/19/2009
Oh! I loved it! There are some really dark things going on in this story and I can't wait until they are revealed to us. Thanks for continuing this piece and sharing it with us.
| my2galspal chapter 5 . 12/19/2009
I love the idea of these blurbs but hate the fact that I want almost all of them to turn into stories. Thank you so much for taking off with this one. I know it will be short but you already have my attention. Thanks for sharing your writing.
| MFLuder42 chapter 5 . 12/19/2009
Oh, I am glad you decided to run with this story. I am really into it. I just have to know how it ends. Nice work on this chapter. I like how you have Alice involved and how she is doing her best to try to have a vision of where Bella could be.
The little clips and memories of Bella and Edward's life together are sweet. Those clips add to the sadness of the story.
I'm also glad to have these to read again. I'm really enjoying going along for the ride reading your stories.
Thanks for the update and I can't wait to see what you come up with next. :)
| MFLuder42 chapter 4 . 12/19/2009
You write Edward so well! Your characterization of him is what got me into reading your fic from the start. Short, but quite good on this chapter.
| Twilightobsessed09 chapter 5 . 12/19/2009
Wow! So intense..
I can't believe that the cause is right there under their noses..
That bastard! I hope there's more of of this prompt...
| BellsNWhistles4Edward chapter 6 . 12/19/2009
just wanted you to know I read this and am enjoying it immensely in all its beautiful carnage.
| mad4hugh chapter 5 . 12/19/2009
I know you said this was rushed, but I certainly felt Edward and Alice's emotions in this 'installment' of your story. Both felt lost and haunted in a manner of speaking: Edward's pain of regret of words unsaid in his memory of the simple shopping trip. Alice pain of loss and struggle to reconnect with that precognitive gift she had denied for so long. The sad resignation of their day's path, with a fervent prayer that they would get their answer that day. Both felt 'inadequate' in their abilities/action in this situation - past and present.
I reread 'Abracadabra' before this and did have a sense that Bella didn't just go missing, but had been abducted. Well, to have one of the detectives be part of her kidnapping - I felt my stomach drop at the first inkling of his participation: "The evil man inside wanted to grin, but he didn't." - and my hope that there would be a HEA diminished, just a little. Ugh. Then bringing the Victoria character in as the 'heart' of the plan/actions that led to Bella's abduction...with such venom and hate toward Edward, well let's just say, it made the situation seem so much bleaker to me.
As I write this, I suppose I should have hope for that HEA since you've given you Alice her "gift". If she could reconnect with that, perhaps there is a way Bella could be found unharmed.
| Unchanged Affections chapter 6 . 12/19/2009
LOVE the title! I will go over there and review the first three chapters! hehe! They will probably just be “amazing” and “wonderful” because I’ve already reviewed them over here )
“With a deep breath, regret hit him hard again and once more he wished he’d mustered the fucking courage, the tenacity to just ask her. He’d had the ring for so long, but the fear of her hesitation or worse… acquiescence out of guilt had kept him silent. They had only been dating six months.”
... Aw, so sad. Yup, they weren’t married. I don’t know why I just assumed that they were in the first chapter. Edward, you’ll get your chance! (yeah... trying to stay optimistic!)
Whoa... Norris is James. That surprised me for some reason. I feel like (maybe) I have read other authors use “Norris” as his last name before. I must not have been thinking OR I’m making up that last statement, haha ;-) I like it!
Haha, I’m laughing at myself. I JUST made the connection. Victoria Matthews. I’m crazy and must be really tired because when I read that last chapter I did NOT think about Victoria, Victoria. I just thought, “oh, a new character, wonder who this woman is?” haha! Yeah, we don’t “know” her... but still. I would have definitely jumped to thinking James if I had realized it was Victoria. Oh goodness... perhaps it is bedtime after this chapter. (Yes, I know that outburst was probably inappropriate considering this chapter. But I felt like you would get a kick out it)
That was so depressing. You are right Victoria is one sadistic bitch. It was really hard to read. It was written very well. Definitely got the point across of what Bella is going through and feeling.
I keep thinking... “why?” But like life... we ask that question and even when we get answers they do not satisfy. People can be disgusting, horrible creatures when they want to be. Because even if the “why” is answered for this story... I feel like it will never fully explain Victoria and James (and I assume the Mr. White is Laurent, perhaps?). There is no excuse for the cruelty Bella is going through.
I wanted to cry at the end:
“Because deep down, Bella knew she would never feel Edward again.”
I like how you described Victoria in your A/N, “like a disassociated villain on a mission to taunt and retaliate.”