|Reviews for A Dangerous Spin|
| Myracels chapter 1 . 6/2
I liked it, although it was quite hard to understand who said what at the end, maybe you could clarify a little bit? But overall it was a lot of fun to read!
| Ileah chapter 1 . 6/24/2011
Aw, it's so sad! The flashback was a bit hard to understand, but I felt that it added a bit more impact to the story that you couldn't see what was happening, but it was like an audio recording. That's what I thought, anyway. I really like it, even though it's so sad.
| The Jolly Bounty chapter 1 . 7/25/2010
Ummmm... even if it's a flash back you still should have who's talking even description this has no sound so when the flash back came along I had no clue what was actually happening... Or what happened...
| x chapter 1 . 4/18/2010
sorry but this story made absolutely no sense to me at all, it needs a major overhaul.
| hi chapter 1 . 4/3/2010
A truly sad story. ; ; She now thinks he likes Green, and watching her Red fell for her...hard. I hope that this isn't the end to such a story, it seems...incomplete. Nonetheless, fantastic. :)
| sierrap123 chapter 1 . 3/12/2010
this has taught me a very important lesson... Read more of your stories! WOOT!
| mexicantimberwolf chapter 1 . 3/8/2010
.Yellow couldn't stop loving Red just because he kissed someone before was reluctant anyway, so it makes even LESS sense.
| Farla chapter 1 . 12/3/2009
Dialogue is written as "Hello," he said or "Hello!" he said, never "Hello." He said or "Hello." he said or "Hello," He said. The only exception to this is if the next sentence doesn't contain a speech verb, in which case it's written as "Hello." He grinned, never "Hello," he grinned or "Hello," He grinned.
"“Yellow… I really do love you…” I said under my breath, holding in the tears. I’d said it so many times before, but ever time, she’d had the same reply.
“I know, Red. I love you too. I hope we can be friends forever!” She leaned against me, and I couldn’t help the few, warm tears, which slid slowly down my cheeks. It felt like my chest would implode; it hurt so much, it felt so tight and cold."
...so, uh, why exactly does he like her?
Also lulzy melodrama is lulzy.
| Yellow maniac chapter 1 . 12/2/2009
Wowzes. But still, there are some grammar mistake. But that's okay. I still can't believe Yellow cried for only just a game.