|Reviews for ME 1: The Dark Wings of a Black Sun|
| Knives91 chapter 18 . 10/16/2010
Well, I almost feel sorry for those poor Cerberus guys. This is going to hurt. A lot. I hope they have enough bullets.
An impressive chapter. Keep at it!
| Basil to Blithe chapter 17 . 9/21/2010
Jeeze, this is fantastic stuff.
Planning on making a living out of it one day?
| Knives91 chapter 17 . 7/17/2010
And now we have to run. Yay...
Talk about the best physical fitness program ever invented: running for you life! Succeed or die!
An excellent chapter. Keep at!
| Inverness chapter 17 . 7/13/2010
I noticed that Halo reference, combining 343 Guilty Spark with 2401 Penitent Tangent. P
| Knives91 chapter 15 . 6/26/2010
Ah, young love. How adorable.
An excellent chapter. Keep at it!
PS: a green Liara. Now there is something you don't see every day...
| Flying J chapter 1 . 6/25/2010
Just taking a second to compliment you on the level of characterization and writing represented here and to say thank you.
| ClarkesLaw chapter 15 . 6/23/2010
Halo, firefly, and now doctor who.
Jesus christ, what AREN'T you gonna quote.
I like the concept 'n all, and the plot seems pretty good, but your sentence structuring is making things a little hard to follow. I personally don't have a problem with long, descriptive sentences, as that's how I write, but you need to use commas correctly if you're going to write in this fashion, and break up the sentence wherever needed.
"Styxchis didn't feel, she didn't see even as her senses and feelings screamed into her ears, the pain of all those lost days, the lover's words in her ear and last embrace before she'd left.", could work better as:
"Styxchis didn't really feel, she didn't really see, even as her too-attentive senses and runaway mind screamed at her. Turbulent thoughts were awash with the pain of all those lost days, her lover's words in her ear, and the last embrace before she'd left."
I'm also assuming that the contradiction in that sentence was intended, and i've highlighted it to give the sentence a bit more depth.
Couple of quick technical things, too. First, the drives on a millitary ship are antimatter based, rather than a "Plasma drive". I'm also pretty sure that the codex entries on Quarians say MINOR cybernetics.
And, if you've played ME2, hows about 0:35 onwards on watch?vavf93qKHIpQ for the final run of the suicide mission...
| Knives91 chapter 14 . 6/11/2010
...if I needed any more proof that the man is crazy, then I just got it. In spades.
An excellent and interesting chapter. Keep at it!
| dewm chapter 14 . 6/8/2010
This comment is going to be a bit long, due to the fact that I didn't comment on the last chapter. Here it goes:
Holy. F***. I didn't expect the zombie ( or Hyst ) apocalypse when I started reading this fic, though I gotta say, you depicted the apocalyptic atmosphere pretty well and it kept me on the edge of my seat. Next time they encounter Hyst, might I suggest that they "kill it with fire"?
Another chapter that I enjoyed, mostly because I like the AODT Shepard more than the one in the actual game. Nice thing you got him going through with Malara.
Though I can pretty much guess what happens next ( involving Liara ), I can't wait for the next chapter. Good luck with the exams and keep kicking ass.
| Inverness chapter 14 . 6/6/2010
Cybernetics are very interesting to me, so I'm glad that Tali seems to have a lot. It makes me wonder if the quarians ever used cybernetics to control their geth back before the war.
| Knives91 chapter 12 . 5/28/2010
Oh god. Its the Flood! But it MA! WE'RE DOOMED! Ahhhhhhhh!
Where's my shotgun! I need it!
Excellent work. More please!
| dewm chapter 12 . 5/26/2010
OK, first off, this desert setting is really cool, kinda Borderlands-ish or something. Secondly, did Shepard just become a gangster while I wasn't reading? I can't imagine Shepard speaking italian or kissing the Godfather's hand.
Anyway, cool chapter, I'm really enjoying this story. Update soon, capiche? (or capito, I dunno, Google doesn't agree with The Godfather II)
| dewm chapter 10 . 5/19/2010
A very entertaining story. One of the first I've managed to read in one sitting. The plot seems pretty plausible and I really like this new side of Shepard. I really hope you update soon.
BTW, I don't know if anyone noticed, but isn't "Plastic Beach" that new album by Gorillaz?
| Knives91 chapter 11 . 5/18/2010
Ah crap. Shits falling from the sky and things are howling in the streets. This CAN'T end well...
An excellent piece of work. More please!
| Candle in the Night chapter 10 . 5/17/2010
Where is Tali anyway? As usual a nice writing style, keep it up.