|Reviews for Overshadowed|
| Accidentally The Whole Fanfic chapter 1 . 2/19/2010
I like this idea... it happens all the time in real life, unfair and unfounded comparisons, so why not in fanfic? Worked out very well. Definitely not an idea you see every day in this section.
| Jean Cooper chapter 1 . 12/13/2009
wow. Now that was deep and very vivid. I like the idea for this, and I've always felt the same about Takakura. Good luck in the contests
| sugarapplesweet chapter 1 . 12/4/2009
Entry verified. :)
I have to agree that there were definitely times when Takakura seemed to treat Jill, and Jack as well, as if they were their father. It really did seem like he didn't see them as their own people, and although I pitied him for it, I now have to wonder how those two would have felt.
I do have one suggestion, though. When writing compound sentences, there can only be one coordinating conjunction (such as and or but) in a sentence. Otherwise, it becomes a run on.
Other than that, though, it was a very enjoyable story.
Good luck in the contest!
Peace and Love
| Mage the Observer chapter 1 . 12/3/2009
Ouch. Definitely awkward, but I'm glad that Jill found it within herself to be her own person. Good luck in the contest.