Esperando o próximo capítulo hein

Are you going to make more chapters,

no, i know oro wouldn't do that to anko :P if this was another fic then maybe i'd think that oro would rape her... but in this fic it's evident that you're trying to paint a diff. picture for or's character :3 I loved it though! I HOPE YOU UPDATE. oro/anko fans must unite and produce more fanfics! :(

aww they're just soo cute together... i know you haven't updated for years but still i hope you update :D this story is great for a drabble!
(i don't usually read drabbles :3)

YAY LEMON LOL haha. gawd that was hawt. :'3

HOT! haha. orochimaru is just sooo hot :333

lol it's kinda un-orochimaru-like but it's ok,,, :) it's good that you showed a different side of oro in this chap. ;D

orochimaru is just so cool as ever. you portrayed him as such. very nice.

love the way you started the story. and yes anko IS oro's angel... _

Orochimaru stared at his former apprentice,he started to take off her chinese pants then held her by the back of her neck as he began to take off her white robe and slowly began to rip apart the corset,releasing her full beautiful breasts,groping them in front of her. Then slid his fingers into her panties rubbin deep into her genitals. Then he turned her on her back and kissed her from lips to breasts to the very core of her hole. He entered and thrusted her as hard as he can promting her to attack him with kissess and biting his nipple,kissing away any blood she spilled. They held each other

This made me cry! Tell him you love him, Anko! You know it's the truth!

Hope you add more to this as I truly adored it. So sweet! And the lemon was quite yummy, too.

Please please please write more! I looooooove it!

this is great... i love the idea of Orochimaru coming back to Konoha just for Anko... PLEASE UPDATE!

I should probably start With this: the story that you have shows a significant amount of potential. But any amount of potential still requires refinement.

The first thing that that really has my OCD through the roof is the fact that you decide you want to Change the Point-Of-View. The way you're using it is to really change the time-frame and the focus, not the Actual Point of view, which is in Third Person.

Also; I get the feeling that you would be more adept at writing screenplays. The story focuses highly on dialogue And very little on actual detail; and although dialogue usually is very important to developing your characters, providing a more complete setting is also very important. I'm not saying that you should go directly out of your way and change your style and everything (I'm especially not saying the you should turn into the next Stephen King. I'm quite okay with the Markus Zusak of Fan fiction.) I'm just saying an adjective here and there can never hurt.

Next, Have you though of getting a beta reader? There are some really Careless Spelling errors and here. Also several grammatical mistakes (Run-ons, Fragments, Probably a comma splice that I didn't detect, etc.). I'm not usually the one to go at Grammar, Seeing as I have a very Margoian Typing style. (Which is a reference to one of John Green's books. Any-who, It means that I'm pretty lackadaisical when it comes to Capitalization rules. And so therefore I habitually capitalize every few words.)

But, before I get off topic again, I do Enjoy your story. The backbone is good and the story is well plotted.

~Xai

Update when you can! 3