Reviews for Sober
PhoenixRising chapter 68 . 8/17/2013
Just when you think everything is going well, something has to happen that turns everything upside down again. Jess and Rory finally return home from the hospital at the beginning of this chapter with their newborn son in Rory's arms. Rather suddenly, as it appears that they didn't tell Lorelai or Luke. Rory introduces her son to his new home, and it really feels like a home now. It was cute how Matthias began looking all around the house, examining everything. Typically, Rory carried her child leaving Jess to carry, well... everything else. New moms have a brilliant excuse to make the men do all of the heavy lifting, don't they? Haha. Even being safe at home, Jess still feels uneasy at the memory of how close he came to losing Rory. Can't any woman have an easy pregnancy in one of your stories? No woman would ever want to have kids in this universe. Jess also seems to be felling better thanks to his doctor and his medication, and now he seems ready to settle in and become a father.

A surprise awaits Jess and Rory as they walk into the nursery and discover that Luke and Lorelai have already furnished the room. Rory places Matthias in his crib and then Jess takes her to their bedroom to lie down for a rest - with the baby monitor on, of course. Jess and Rory finally have a moment to themselves, and after some cuddling, Jess changes the topic to Rory's test results from New York. Apparently Rory's doctor was fired and took all of the files with him. According to Doctor Matthews, this doctor was arrested in the Bahamas for stealing money from the hospital. Just when you thought you could trust doctors. This is the guy Rory went to in New York? On top of that, Jess has also stopped seeing his psychiatrist. Is this a good idea? Given everything that's happened it's understandable that he's too busy. Rory then talks about writing again and suggests that Jess do the same, but he still doubts that he can after his previous disappointing attempt. Rory insists it was a good book and pleads with Jess to continue writing, not wanting him to spiral down into mental illness again. Jess understands that Rory and his child need him, and seems to be ready to consider her suggestion, when Lorelai suddenly shows up, upset that Rory and Jess have left the hospital without telling her.

Lorelai calls out to Rory, who responds along with Jess, who warns her not to wake up baby Matt. Unfortunately it's too late, as Matt begins crying in his crib. Rory's mom can always be counted on to bring peace and serenity to any situation, can't she? Lorelai's comment about Matt's crying proving that he is Jess' son sparks an angry reply from Rory, who demands to know what it wrong with her. At first, Lorelai says it's just because she wasn't told about them leaving the hospital, but when Rory presses further, her mother admits that she's heard news from the court in New York. Jess's case is going to be reopened! Oh, no! Jess and Rory can't seem to catch a break! They've just come home with their son and now they have to deal with this? All and all this was an excellent chapter, but one that foreshadows trouble ahead. What will happen with Jess' case? And is the situation with Rory's test results really over and done? I can't wait to read the next chapter!
PhoenixRising chapter 67 . 6/8/2013
Rory awakens to the sound of her baby crying in Lane's arms at the start of this chapter. Rory is amused by the worried look on Lane's face, and bursts into laughter when Lane tells little Matthias that he reminds her of Jess. Rory is apparently still in pain as she sits up and Lane expresses concern for her, but Rory insists she's okay and begins to feed Matthias, who finally stops crying. I liked how lighthearted this chapter starts, as Lane calls Matthias a "hoodlum" with a temper like his father and a stubbornness that he inherited from both Jess and Rory. Rory insists she isn't stubborn, but Lane reminds her of how long it took her to admit her feelings for Jess, how she denied them, and how she left him in Philadelphia. Rory credits her actions to stupidity rather than stubbornness, but Lane tells her that her stubbornness is what kept in in Star's Hollow. Jess walks into the room just as Rory and Lane are discussing his current mood, and Rory notices something odd in Jess' expression, as well as something with Lane's. Rory sternly asks to talk to Jess, and Lane takes the hint and leaves the room. Uh, oh. This can't be good. What started off so pleasantly is now becoming tense.

Rory demands that Jess tell her what is going on, and Jess stammers as if unable to collect his thoughts. He tells Rory that he only wants her to be happy and that he's tired of causing her pain. Rory's reaction is incredible. She tells him not to worry about her and instead asks how she can help him! Is this girl great or what? Rory then becomes a mind reader and asks Jess if Logan is what's bothering him. She successfully gets Jess to tell her that Logan was at the hospital, which is a total surprise to her. I loved that exchange between them, with each of them not really knowing what the other was about to say. Jess tells Rory of Logan's plan for revenge against him, which confounds Rory, who reminds Jess that nothing was his fault. Rory is also angry that Jess is shutting her out of his problems in order to protect her, and reminds him that she is his wife and that she is with him no matter what.

The chapter ends adorably with Jess telling Rory how he loves her stubbornness, which Rory insists he remind her of every day. A short, but great chapter, with crisp Rory and Jess dialogue and a satisfying ending. There was also just enough humor to keep it light and breezy despite the drama over Logan. And your grammar is as good as it's ever been! I can't wait for the next chapter!
PhoenixRising chapter 66 . 5/25/2013
Jess leaves baby Matthias in the hospital room to go talk to Logan at the start of this chapter. I must say, I'm impressed by the way Jess not only handles himself in this situation, but how he thinks of himself. I love how he feels awakened after having slept for so long. He feels..."sober"? Heh, clever. But he's handling the situation with Logan with great maturity...something Logan obviously doesn't possess. Jess even tries to apologize to him for Megan's death and for not knowing that Logan was married to her. But this doesn't quell Logan's anger, as he tells Jess that he should have had died when he jumped off that building, and vows to destroy him. But Jess does make a good point asking why Megan felt she needed to look for someone else, which only angers Logan further. Luke arrives just in time to prevent a fight from breaking out between them, reminding Logan that they're in a hospital. Logan then leaves, again vowing to make Jess pay, and Jess demands that Logan stay away from Rory. Wow, tensions are really simmering between these two! Luke tries to get Jess to let go of the past, but while Jess still takes responsibility for Megan's death, I found it interesting that he lays the blame for her cheating at Logan's feet, where it probably belongs. Luke refuses to believe that Megan's death was Jess' fault, however. I'm beginning to wonder myself.

Luke asks about Rory, and Jess tells him that she's doing well and can have more children. Then Lane shows up and asks Jess why Logan seemed upset, obviously having ran into him on her way to see them. She apparently thought things were settled between them. Oh, it's a long story all right, one that is difficult to shorten and that Luke has no time to hear. Luke goes for coffee and Jess waits until he has left to Lane about what happened with Logan. Lane hears about their argument and learns that Rory didn't even know that Logan was there. I liked how Lane joked with Jess about coming to the hospital just for his "wonderful personality," which brought smile to Jess' that shocked her. He claims he's just "practicing" smiling for his child, but it seems like the old Jess is finally returning. But he's also a newer, more confident Jess at the same time. Lane asks about Rory and Jess tells Lane she is asleep, but that she can see the baby if she wants to. Lane agrees, and then tells Jess how she always used to tell Rory that he was the right man for her, which amuses Jess. As they go in to see the baby, Jess and Lane see Rory sleeping, and Jess can't help but gaze at her beauty. The chapter ends with Jess telling Lane that he doesn't need to hear Rory confirm what Lane said about him. Rory is there now, which is all that is important. Lane adds that Rory is there for him, and smiles at how open and honest Jess is.

Wow! Just as I was thinking that this chapter was going to turn into a heavily dramatic fight between Jess and Logan, it suddenly turns sweet and endearing! Jess is now almost unrecognizable from the way he was earlier in the story, and Lane really gave him the boost that he needed to believe in himself. The only problem is what Logan will decide to do later on. The title is appropriate because no one in the chapter(other than Luke) really needs to have much explained. Another excellent chapter! On to the next one!
PhoenixRising chapter 65 . 9/14/2012
Rory slowly recovers from her pregnancy while adjusting to being a new mom in this chapter. Little baby Matthias still cries all the time and only calms down when in his mother's arms. Jess is still worried about Rory's recovery, but she never once complains about her situation. Jess loses his composure and tells Rory that she needs her sleep, insisting that he and the nurses can take care of Matthias. The care and love that Rory feels for her son is adorable, as all she can think of is how Matthias only calms when he's in her hands. Rory refuses and tells Jess thathe can't order her, which prompts Jess to remind her of he document that he signed putting him in charge of her well being, which I thought was clever of him. Jess is really starting to show strength in this situation. Doctor Mathews walks in and can tell that the new parents have had a tough night. He also tells them that Matthias needs a routine checkup when he wakes up, which causes Rory to stress herself and makes Jess even more upset with her not sleeping.

The doctor assures Rory that her child is okay, and Rory mentions how Matthias is her miracle because she was told that she can't have any more children. Then Doctor Mathews makes a startling statement that Rory can, in fact, have more children as long as she is careful with her anemia. So there could be the pitter-patter of more Marianos in the future! Rory does feel angered that her doctors in New York had told her that she could not have any more children, which made her feel broken and less of a woman. This is why a person should always seek a second opinon. Jess reminds Rory that getting upset in her conditon isn't worth it, and tries to calm her. Rory is impressed with the change in Jess' attitude, which he credits to new medication and therapy, which was amusing. Doctor Mathews tells Rory to listen to Jess(for a change) and get some sleep, because she is not helping her son by staying awake. Wow, is this the same Jess Mariano? Rory finally relents and drifts off to sleep, and Jess and the doctor joke about her stubborness. Doctor Mathews is determined to find out why Rory's doctors in New York misled her about her anemia, and leaves Jess in the room to watch over Rory and their son, who surprisingly calms in his father's arms as well. Jess cradles little Matthias, and just as the chapter looks headed for yet another happy ending, Jess hears Logan's voice behind him. Logan stands in the doorway of Rory's hospital room, ranting about how unfair it is that Jess is alive and is the father to Rory's son. Jess cannot find a reply, but I can. Can someone please kill Logan off, already?

Another excellent chapter! The grammar is looking better than ever and the writing is tight and well-paced. Jess' progression as a character is going along better than expected. The ending with Logan was unexpected and an interesting set-up to the next chapter. What will happen between Logan and Jess? Will Logan actually try to start a fight in a hospital room with a sleeping mother and her baby? Can we hate this guy any more? I can't wait for the next chapter!
PhoenixRising chapter 64 . 9/8/2012
Rory finally wakes up and Jess is there to greet her, as if instinctively knowing when she'd awaken. Rory complains of soreness, but Jess probably looks more worn out than Rory at this point. Rory asks about the baby, and Jess tells her that their son is okay and asleep in the crib beside her, which leads to Rory's touching first glimpse of their son. Rory is so grateful that her son is healthy that she breaks into tears. Rory contemplates all the things that could have gone wrong with her pergnancy, and it becomes Jess' turn to be the support figure for Rory, assuring her that she did everything she could do and that it is useless worrying about what could have gone wrong. Rory's self-doubts are something Jess is very familiar with, and it's nice for him to be the voice of strength and reassurance for once. Rory is eager to hold her baby, and Jess leaves to ask Doctor Mathews if she is physically ready. At this point I was just as anxious for Rory to finally hold her child. Lorelai walks in to visit Rory, and the two begin using the word "baby" an awful lot. Lorelai also lets Rory know of how Jess told them how brave Rory was to not give up. It was funny when Rory snapped at her mother when Lorelai asked to hold the baby, insisting that she be the first to hold her child. Rory was a little harsh with her mom. Unfortunately, Lorelai informs Rory that Jess was already the first to hold their child. Oh well...

Jess walks in with Doctor Mathews, and Rory again asks to hold her baby. Lorelai questions whether it is too soon for Rory, but when Rory hears the baby crying she believes that even her child wants her to hold him. Lorelai remarks that Rory's son is a hoodlum like his father, which was another good zinger from her. Doctor Mathews decides that Rory is in no danger and allows her to hold her child, and Jess goes to pick up the baby from his crib, with Lorelai rushing in to help Rory sit up. One might think that Lorelai was competing with Jess for the role of Rory's caretaker. Jess places the baby in Rory's arms as she finally gets to hold her son! As soon as he is in his mother's arms, Rory's baby stops crying. Awwww! It was also nice when Rory called her son her "second miracle" before looking at Jess, who was her first. Doctor Mathews suggests that Rory and Jess be left alone with their child, to which Lorelai reluctantly agrees, although not happily. She's still going to be a bit of a problem. Rory thanks Jess for telling her mother the truth, although Jess admits to only telling his uncle Luke, not having the strength to tell Lorelai to her face. I liked how the chapter ended with Rory thanking Jess for "keeping her here," and I don't think she meant the hospital room. She was talking about Jess keeping her alive and in this world so she could be with him and their son. Jess insists that Rory wanted to be here, and the two quickly think of a name for their child. Rory comes up with the first name "Matthias," and Jess - true to his literary nature - decides on "Oliver" for a middle name, from the novel "Oliver Twist." Rory and Jess both smile and agree on the name, as Rory playfully calls Jess "Dodger."

Matthias Oliver Mariano! What a terrific name! And a huge name! Sounds almost like the name of a race car driver! Heh. I loved how smoothly this chapter went, with no drama or bad incidents, other than Lorelai's winning personality. The grammar and punctuation are better than ever, and the pace is really starting to pick up. I'm glad that this chapter gave Rory and Jess a moment of rest and happiness with their new least until more drama comes along later. Another great chapter! I can't wait to read the next one!
PhoenixRising chapter 63 . 6/26/2012
Stay away from the darkness, Rory! What should be the happiest moment in Rory and Jess' life turns into a disaster as Rory slips away into unconsciousness seconds after delivering her baby! Jess' reaction is heart-wrenching as he screams for Rory to wake up, unwilling to lose her. Just then, Doctor Matthews tells Jess that Rory's condition and blood loss was unavoidable and that he was surprised that she lasted as long as she did. What is this doctor saying? Is he really making light of Jess' loss? But wait, the doctor then adds that Rory's recovery would take longer than usual, meaning...she's still alive! Nice way to scare the hell out of us, Doc! It shouldn't come as a surprise, though, given how much the author loves torturing the reader with these intense childbirth scenes. You'd think that no woman would ever want to have children after reading these scenes! However, Doctor Matthews' dialogue and demeanor are expertly written, just as one might expect a real doctor to act. The doctor then asks Jess if he would like to hold his son, and Jess reluctantly agrees, a bit fearful of dropping the baby. Doctor Matthews deals with Jess' apprehension well, building up confidence in the new father. The baby is adorably described here, and Jess is assured by the doctor that his son is healthy and that Rory will be alright. Talk about breathing a sigh of relief! After that last chaper I feared the worst!

Luke soon enters the room, watching Jess lovingly gaze at his newborn son. Lorelai almost spoils the moment by barging in demanding to know Rory's condition, and Luke calms her, telling her not to disrupt Jess' state of mind any more than it already has been. But Jess seems to be in remarkable control of his emotions and assures Lorelai that Rory is fine. Luke attempts to get Jess to take his pills, but Jess refuses and insists that he is okay, to which even Loralai agrees! Loralai again asks Jess about Rory, and Luke still persists in getting Jess to take his pills. Jeez, can't they leave him in peace to enjoy the moment with his baby? It's an emotional moment as Jess admits to Luke and Lorelai his fear of losing Rory and nearly breaks down in front of them. Luke tries to calm Jess as Lorelai disappears - and amusingly gets lost in the hospital corridors - only to reappear some minutes later with a cup of water for Jess. Jess dismisses his uncle's concern, but swallows his pills with the water anyway. The ever-persistent Lorelai again asks Jess about Rory's condition, and Jess tells her that Rory is doing fine. The most touching thing about the ending of this chapter are Jess words about holding his son, which is all he can think about at that moment. Lorelai seems overjoyed and proud that her daughter was strong enough to survive, not knowing how close Rory actually came to dying. Luke recognizes that Jess witheld this information from Lorelai and marvels at how much his nephew has grown. Perhaps Rory and their newborn son are the cure that Jess has needed all along? Does this mean that he is well on the road to recover? I loved this chapter! I can't wait to see Rory finally get to hold her baby, and I hope things only get better for Jess. But knowing the writer, there's bound to be a few more bumps in the road ahead. On to the next chapter!
PhoenixRising chapter 62 . 5/29/2012
This chapter begins with a brief flashback to Rory experiencing pains that she decided to hide from Jess. Rory's symptoms seem to worsen until her cnotractions finally begin, and the chapter gets off to a tense and suspenseful start. Jess is awakened by Rory's contractions and rushes to call Lorelai, while Rory still believes that it is too early for her to be going into labor. After calling Lorelai, Jess gets dressed and carries Rory to their car. One thing I loved is how responsible Jess is in this scene, calming Rory and reassuring her that her mother and her doctor will both meet her at the hospital. Rory begins to have fears that something bad will happen to the baby because of her, and starts to ask Jess something, but Jess refuses to let her ask and tells Rory that nothing bad will happen. I suspect I know what Rory could possibly have been asking, and it was good that it was left unspoken but still understood by Jess. At the hospital, Lorelai is already there to meet them, but Rory insits that Jess stay with her. Rory's words, "I want you...with me," and "I need you," were heartbreaking. This chapter moves at a breathtaking pace as Doctor Matthews arrives to deliver Rory's baby. The detail and accuracy of the medical terminology in this scene was also impressive. Rory's anemia only makes her chidlbirth even more complicated...and makes the scene even more nail-biting!

Jess stays at Rory's side as the doctor and nurses go to work on her delivery. Jess shows great strength in helping Rory through her labor, and Rory finally believes that she can handle it. Hours pass, and Rory's water finally breaks. But then things go wrong, as Rory has trouble breathing and Jess screams at the doctor to help her. After the doctor puts a respirator on Rory's face, there is a moment where she looks up at Jess almost as if to plead with him to release her from the pain. Is she asking him to let her die? Rory speaks Jess' name, but Jess again refuses to let her give up, as the doctor order her to push. Thank goodness Jess is finally the one fighting for Rory's life and giving her the will to go on. He reminds her that he has had the same feelings in the past, but tells Rory not to give up because he cannot live without her now. This scene really had me on the edge of my seat in suspense! Rory has given Jess a reason to hold on to life, and now Jess is returning the favor. Rory responds by pushing as the doctor ordered her, and her screams of pain make the end of the chapter almost too difficult to read! Rory calls Jess' name, and again he begs her not to give up. These labor scenes are always a challenge to get through! Rory screams and pushes one last time, and Doctor Matthews delivers her baby! The pain finally ends and Rory hears her son crying. And just as Rory sinks back into Jess' arms and the chapter seems to be heading fo a happy ending..."the darkness possessed her." What? What does that mean? Did Rory die? Is she in a coma? How could the chapter end like this, on such a shocking cliffhanger? What an amazing and terrifying chapter! The dialogue and narrative were excellent, and the hospital scenes were expertly handled. And I loved how mature and strong Jess was for Rory in this chapter. Now I can't wait to find out what happens to Rory in the next chapter!
PhoenixRising chapter 61 . 5/16/2012
Jess decided to be honest with Rory about Logan in the last chapter, but then has his doubts at the beginning of this one. Jess only admits to Rory that Logan tried to punch him to avoid the subject, but Rory isn't having any of it and insists he tell her everything. You'd think Jess would've learned by now. Rory does admit that Logan was one of her "mistakes," but Jess still carries the pain of when she left him for Logan. The reminder of it clearly affects Rory as well, who seems a bit ashamed as she lowers her voice. This opens up a lot of old wounds and stokes Jess' anger, and Rory apologizes. Jess relents and apoligizes in return for bringing it up, and each seems to be trying to sympathize and not hurt the other. Rory still asks why Logan was there in spite of Jess' attempts to end the discussion. This time it's Rory who loses her temper and demands that Jess tell her why Logan hit him. That's when Rory feels a pain in her belly as her baby kicks, and is reminded of why she should stay calm. It's at this moment that Rory and Jess' affection for each other overcomes any negativity that came before, which is very sweet. Jess is concerned only for her well-being, while Rory wants Jess to be more open and share things with her so she might possibly be able to help him. Amazingly, Jess finally tells Rory about Logan's marriage to Megan and how Logan blames him for her death. Wow! I didn't think he'd actually confess so soon!

Upon hearing this, Rory quickly comes to Jess' defense, reminding him that Megan's death was an accident,despite Jess' desire to take all of the blame onto himself. Rory makes a very good point that no one ever accused Jess of wrongdoing, and that the blame should go to the driver of the truck who fell asleep at the wheel and hit them. You'd think that Jess could see that for himself! And just as Jess wishes that he had been more careful, Rory is quick to shut him up and force him to hold her; and to remind him of their unborn son and stop blaming himself for everything. Jess' self-loathing balanced by Rory's unending devotion to him illustrates the tug-of-war that is raging in Jess' mind, which is seen through his eyes and which he is careful to hide from Rory.

No one in town talks of the public incident between Jess and Logan, and the story fast-forwards one month later. Jess wakes up in the middle of the night to find Rory is going into labor! Rory believes that it's still to early for this to happen, but Jess is sure and goes to call Lorelai. Wow! What a shocker of an ending! The first part of the chapter showed a deepening of trust between Rory and Jess, and the end jumps the story full speed into Rory's labor, which I did not see coming! Another great chapter! I can't wait for the next one where Rory will hopefully give birth!
PhoenixRising chapter 60 . 4/19/2012
While Jess and Lane are out shopping for baby furniture, Rory restlessly lies in her bed while her mother attempts to tend to her needs. However, Rory hints that it is "someone" that she needs...not "something." Lorelai is caught off-guard by her daughter's whimsical mood, but then touches Rory's belly and feels the baby kick. It feels like it's going to be a strong baby, indeed. Jess suddenly returns with Lane, and Rory notices the black eye on Jess' face, which Jess did not seem to notice. Lane starts to explain, but Jess interrupts and uses the old, "I-ran-into-a-door" explanation. I liked how Rory's first thought was to ask her mom for a package of frozen peas to put on Jess' eye. I also liked how Jess had to correct Rory by explaining that it was a swan that hit him the last time, not a ball. Yeah, right. Rory is understandably skeptical, with all these excuses Jess comes up with. Jess quickly chages the subject to the baby's crib, and Rory is happy and anxious to see it. Not one word is spoken of Logan, although it's probably hanging over Jess and Lane's thoughts. But the scene soon becomes a pleasant family gathering as they all help to unpack the crib and assemble the pieces. Even more pleasant is Rory's smile as she rubs her belly. But she still senses that Jess has lied to her. After the crib is assembled, Rory is beside herself with joy and tells Jess she loves him. See what getting the right color crib does for a girl?

Lorelai offers to help Jess carry the crib to the nursery, which comes as another surprise to Rory. Hey, it is Lorelai's grandson! Rory takes the moment to ask Lane for the truth about what happened to Jess, and amusingly calls her a "lousy liar" when she backs Jess' story. Rory then sternly announces that she needs to "talk with her husband" and emphasizes the word, "Now!" Lane and Lorelai wisely leave, and poor Jess is left to fend for himself. I couldn't decide whether to laugh or feel sorry for Jess at this moment. Boy, is he in trouble! Rory isn't stupid, and can tell by his eyes that Jess is hiding the truth, just like he did with the car accident. What's amazing is that Jess is foolish enough to keep using the story about hitting the door! She knows he does this to protect her and tells him that she can see it in his face. Poor Jess again believes that he's failing her, and doesn't want her to end up hurt. I love Rory's understanding nature in this chapter, as she tells Jess she loves him and to come to her. He rests his head on her shoulder, and then feels the baby kick once again. Rory explains that she feels pain when Jess does and that hiding the truth isn't going to prevent anything, but getting through to Jess is easier said than done.

The level of maturity and understanding on Rory's part really comes through here, but Jess is like a wounded child in her arms. Jess is just as amazed of Rory as the reader is, and can't believe that Rory actually doesn't mind the pain of the baby's kicking, calling it a "nice pain," which I thought was adorable. Rory has become mother to both Jess and her unborn child at this point, and Jess tells her how brave he thinks she is and how scared he is of losing her or watching her suffer. Rory surprises him by saying that his presence allows her to do what she does, and wants him to finally trust her. That's when Jess comes clean and tells her about Logan! Well it took long enough! Another wonderful chapter with a truly touching bonding moment between Jess and Rory where many things that needed to be said were finally said. Now how will Rory react to Logan hitting Jess? I can't wait to see the next chapter!
PhoenixRising chapter 59 . 4/7/2012
The title of this chapter, 'Tell me the next lie,' doesn't bode well for Rory and Jess. Neither does Jess' entry in his laptop at the start of the chapter where he writes about being conflicted and how empty his life feels. The language in Jess' writing is distrbing and shows a lot of hopelessness and self-loathing still within him. Rory catches Jess in front of his laptop and is concerned bout his lack of sleep. Jess obliges her by putting away his laptop and joining her in bed, although when asked, he lies to her about what he wrote. Rory mentions that their son will be born in only two months and senses Jess' fear. I love how calm and nurturing she is in this scene, and how everything she's done, including buying the house, was to help Jess feel safe. Ironic, since he's supposed to be doing that for her. They start to talk about everything the baby will need, and Jess becomes agitated at the thought of going shopping for things while Rory stays at home. At least Jess is more agreeable when Rory suggests that Lane go with him to help him shop. It seems odd that Jess would be bothered by such a mundane task, but it shows just how little control he feels he has over his life. Rory goes to sleep and Jess promises to get some sleep as well, but he is unsuccessful.

Lane comes by the next morning to help Jess shop for items for the nursery while Lorelai stays with Rory, since Jess refuses for her to be left alone. It's good that Lane and Jess decide to be civil to each other, although Jess is not in the best of moods. The thought of leaving Rory to buy a bed is enough set him off, and Lane does her best to be understanding of Jess' feelings. Jess' willingness to do anything to please Rory extends to buying a bed of a specific color, namely blue. And Rory knows that this is Jess' favorite color, and it's adorable how they are both tyring to please each other. As Jess pays for the bed, Taylor, the man at the counter, asks him about his marriage to Rory. Apparently nothing stays a secret for long in this town when Kirk is around. Lane chastises Taylor for spreading gossip, and Jess thanks her, surprised that she now seems to be on his side. Unfortunately, just as things were going well, Logan shows up. Lane is not happy to see him, and just as Jess turns to look in the same direction, he is struck in the jaw by Logan. Okay, can someone kill Logan off already? However, the reason for Logan's reaction is even more shocking...Megan was his wife! The same Megan that Jess was invovled with, who died in car accident! Wow, what a head-spinning revelation! How did Jess not know that Megan was married? And to Logan of all people? Logan accuses Jess of killing Megan, and Jess explains to Lane about the car accident, which Lane at least understands was not Jess' fault. Logan, on the other hand, vows to make Jess pay for what he did. Lane leaps to Jess' defense, reminding Logan that it was an accident and refusing to allow Logan to hurt Jess. Wow, what a turnaround for Lane!

Logan furiously leaves, telling them that this is not finished, and Jess once again feels his self-loathing. Lane, who I love in this chapter, tells Jess not to blame himself and that it wasn't his fault. But Jess makes Lane promise not to tell Rory about what happened, which might be a good idea, given her condition. Wow, what a way to end an amazing chapter! What will this revelation do to Jess and Rory's relationship? Was that really Jess' baby Megan was carrying, or Logan's? How long will this secret be kept from Rory? And will she be able to safely give birth? I can't wait for the next chapter!
PhoenixRising chapter 58 . 4/6/2012
Jess and Rory are married! Wow, that was fast! Unfortunately, marriage is no consolation for Jess, having finally got what he always wanted by making Rory his wife, but convinced that the marriage was more of convenience than love. He is sure that Rory married him to be her caretaker more than her husband, which is depressing. Jess contemplates this while sitting on the floor of the kitchen when he suddenly hears Rory calling to him from the bedroom. Jess' absence frightens Rory, who is apparently still worried that Jess might try something foolish, like taking his own life. She feels relief when he goes to her and does his best to comfort her, but Jess still feels alone. Even feeling his unborn child move in Rory's womb fills him with fear and uncertainty rather than joy. But it's good that at the very least Jess is trying to make Rory comfortable, even at the expense of his own sleep. Jess in this chapter is doing everything he can for Rory, but his efforts seem more like an obligation. The joy that Rory feels being married and expecting a child is not shared by Jess, who acts like a caged animal. I liked the carefully nuanced descriptions of Jess feelings, thought it would be great if he could feel more like a father.

The next morning, Jess continues his nursemaid duties by helping Rory to the bathroom, and I enjoyed how Rory likened it to a bride being carried over the threshold by her groom. Rory finds the bright side of even the most uncomfortable of circumstances. Rory is also aware enough of Jess' concerns that when the baby begins kicking she must assure him that it's nothing serious. Rory is also in charge of giving Jess his pills, which may not be such a good idea since he doubts if she can successfully hide them from him should he try to overdose. The pills are a touchy subject for them, and Rory tries her best not to upset him. It's funny how they both seem to be playing a parental role for each other in this chapter, and they both seem like they are walking on eggshells during their conversations. Neither Rory or Jess are in a position of strength here, each even needing a special diet just to get by. How can either of them truly take care of the other? Thankfully, the solemn mood changes when Jess gives Rory her breakfast and the chapter becomes more playfully romantic. Then the baby kicks again, and Rory once again must reassure Jess that everything is fine with her. Jess remains unconvinced and Rory tells him they must be patient, but it is Rory's continued patience with Jess that is really touching. He may be her support, but she is his strength. Then Lorelai shows up like a storm cloud, angered by her daughter's marriage to Jess and the fact that she wasn't invited. Rory skillfully handles her mother here, telling Lorelai to keep her voice down and not even flinching when the baby kicks.

It turns out that Lane accidentally let Lorelai know about Rory and Jess' marriage, and Lorelai is none too pleased by how her daughter handled things, rushing into marriage before the baby is even born. Rory rather bluntly tells her mother that her opinions don't matter, and that she prefers the way she handled things. To Rory, the quickie marriage is "just a paper," presumably meaning her love for Jess and their baby are more important. Jess reiterates Rory's words to Lorelai, but does so reluctantly. Does he feel that all of it is "just a paper" and not real at all? Another well-written though depressing chapter. Rory doesn't seem to recognize Jess' rather bothersome behavior, or doesn't believe that it will be a problem. Jess needs to stop feeling like a caretaker and start feeling like a father and a husband, and I hope Rory realizes how far he still has to go in that area. I can't wait to see if things get better for Jess and Rory in the next chapter!
PhoenixRising chapter 57 . 2/17/2012
Rory finally returns home! The chapter opens with Rory and Jess lying in their bedroom with Jess asleep in her arms. I like how calm and seren this opening scene is compared to the drama of the last few chapters. Jess is very much like a child in her arms, and still in a fragile state of mind after his latest overdose. Rory's fears over Jess'condition hang over her head, knowing that he still feels insignificant and wanting to help him be more accepting of his role as the father of her child. The next morning, Rory hears a surprise visitor talking to Jess in the kitchen - none other than Lane! Jess walks into the bedroom to serve Rory her breakfast, with Lane accompanying him. Rory quickly greets her friend, but there is a slight tension as Rory gives Jess his pills and he then decides to leave the room to let the two women talk. Lane asks Rory what happened, after already being told by Jess that she needed to stay in bed, and Rory explains why she ended up in the hospital. Lane recalls the look of guilt she saw on Jess' face when he told her that Rory was having a boy, and rather crassly asks if he did anything to Rory. Rory angrily retorts that Jess did nothing and accuses Lane of always trying to place blame on him. Lane is taken aback by Rory's reaction and tries to assure her that she meant no offense. Filling Lane in on all the detials isn't easy, but Rory quickly explains how Jess blamed himself for her condition and nearly died of an overdose, and thankfully, Lane is calm and reassuring to Rory at a time when seh obviously needs it. I liked how Lane was much more understanging of Jess than Rory's family had been.

That's when Rory asks for a favor and drops a bombshell on Lane: she wants to marry Jess! Lane is confused as to why Rory is rushing into marriage, and Rory admits that she wants Jess to make decisions for her since she feels she won't be able to when she gets ready to deliver her baby. But Rory fears that Jess won't be as receptive to her idea. As her husband, Jess will be legally able to make decisions regarding her and her babyif anything goes wrong, which is quite and extreme decision for Rory to make. Is she sure that Jess ready for that responsibility yet? lane immediately questions the wisdom of Rory's decision, reminding her that Jess recently tried to kill himself. Rory steadfastly insists that this is what she wants to do, and that should anything happen to her, Jess would still have her baby. It's amazing how selfless Rory is being in this chapter, already thinking of Jess raising her child without her if she dies! Rory asks Lane to find a judge and bring him to her home so that she and Jess can be married. Apparently Rory isn't too concerned about having a wedding ceremony that every girl dreams of! Lane reluctantly agrees, but still tells Rory that she must tell Jess first.

Lane leaves and Rory calls Jess into her room. This is when she tells Jess of her plans and how she wants to get married to him. What's moving about this scene is how Rory explains that she is doing this for Jess, so that he will feel safe and perhaps less likely to take his own life. Jess is understandabley shocked by what Rory tells him, especially the part about his being legally responsible for Rory and her baby...should anything happen. Jess, who thought they would wait until getting married, asks Rory why she's doing this. Her response is simple and beautiful..."Because I love you. and I trust you." Awww, that's such a beautiful way to end such a beautiful, well-written chapter! And it ends with Rory again asking Jess to marry her! Will he say yes? No? What will he say? I can't wait for the next chapter!
PhoenixRising chapter 56 . 1/19/2012
Rory finally gets to go home from the hospital in this chapter, but where will she go home to? Lorelai believes that Rory should go home with her, but Rory wants to go home with Jess instead, knowing that Lorelai would try to keep Jess away from her. Rory's need for Jess is evident in this chapter, and she seems to have gained a new strength. But Jess is as down on himself as ever, and nearly agrees with Lorelai's decision until Rory stops him. Luke was wise to simply leave the room. Rory becomes angry with Jess for his reluctance and insists that she wants to be ith him in their own house. Jess doesn't seem to have any more confidence in himself than Lorelai does, who tries to reason with her daughter. I liked how Rory successfully knocked down Lorelai's argument that Jess would be too busy to watch over her. With Jess hiring extra workers at the book store and Luke filling in for him, Jess can spend time with Rory to keep her safe. Perhaps Lorelai simply doesn't trust Jess to be responsible. One pleasant moment occured when Rory could feel the baby kicking, which meant that everything was all right. Even Jess' mood seemed to lighten when he mentioned seeing the baby's footprint.

Rory's grandmother shows up and offers to let Rory stay with her and her grandfather. Rory becomes a little irritated by everyone trying to make decisions for her when she already knows what she wants. Rory feels especially upset when her grandmother implies that her famliy are the only ones who can care for her, which was an insult to Jess. Rory defends her decision to her mother and grandmother, who treats Jess with disdain. But I loved how Lorelai quickly sided with Rory's decision to stay with Jess. She would rather do that than be in agreement with her mother, apparently. The dialoge between the three women was intense, yet also humorous, and Jess wisely stays quiet. However, Emily doesn't refrain from hurling insults at Jess and speaking of Rory in the third person as if she wasn't even there, which infuriates Rory. Jess finally finds his voice near the end of the chapter, questioning whether Emily truly does have Rory's best interests in mind, since he was the one who convinced Rory to finish school and not Emily. Way to stand up for yourself, Jess!

Rory also stands up for Jess, telling her grandmother that he is what motivated her to take her life in her hands. I loved that part! Rory starts feeling pains in her belly and decides to go home, but not before her grandmother throws a few more jabs at her condition, which causes Rory to finally lose her temper and tell her grandmother off. Emily is stunned into silence and can only walk away, and Rory and Lorelai joke about how Emily might never talk to them again, wich Rory feels might be a blessing. Nice bit of sarcasm at the end! Rory's statement that all she needs is Jess is a wonderfuly poignant way to end the chapter. Now if only Jess could have as much faith in himself as Rory does. Another excellent chapter! On the the next one!
PhoenixRising chapter 55 . 12/30/2011
After making his somewhat half-hearted promise to Rory to "try" not to kill himself, Jess has been released from the hospital and has taken vigil at Rory's bedside. Rory's doctors have told him that she is doing better and that the baby is fine, but that is not enough consolation for Jess. He believes that Rory won't be out of danger until after she delivers her baby and fear weighs heavily on his heart. Unfortunately, Jess finds himself still wishing that his uncle had not found him in time and that he had died, but Rory should be his priority now and his love for her keeps him at her side. I liked how Jess finds some hope in hearing his son's heartbeat on the monitor, and seeing how well Rory is recovering. This chapter presents and interesting conflict for Jess as he actually starts believing that he can do the right thing by Rory and not make the same mistakes as before, but still has to fight the depression and urge to kill himself rather than have it disappear all at once. Amazingly, Jess even realizes that Lorelai was right about him not thinking about his responsibility to Rory and their child by taking the easy way out. This show some growth on the part of his character.

Rory awakens and tries to cheer Jess up and relieve his worry, but can tell that his smile is forced and not genuine. Thier conversation takes a serious turn when Rory asks Jess if he is still taking pills. Jess tells her that Luke and his doctors are helping him but that he doubts that his therapy will work, recalling what happened to him before. Rory tries to convince a skeptical Jess that he can get better, and that he is not alone and has a reason for living - herself and the baby. But Jess begins talking about how he wished he were alone and that no one cared about him so that no one would be hurt if he died tomorrow, which is frustrating. Jess still seems to be trapped in self-pity and not thinking of Rory and the baby enough. When Rory asks Jess why he would want that when he has her and the baby, he finally breaks down and admits that he couldn't make it if he lost her. Ironic, since he was constantly trying to drive her away earlier in the story. Another part I liked was when Rory assured Jess that he wouldn't lose her, but Jess tells her that she can't promise that. Rory then promises that she'll "do her best," evoking Jess' own words to her in the previous chapter about not killing himself. So, how does Jess feel now that the roles are reversed? Jess again asks her that neither of them make promises they can't keep, and the chapter ends with the two of them turning their attention to their unborn baby.

Jess worries that the child might be hurting her, but Rory assures him that feeling the baby move inside her lets her know that he is alive and safe within her. She also wishes that she could protect Jess as she protects their child. Those were sweet and deeply moving words from Rory, leaving Jess to ponder the "tiny line" between the good and bad in his life, and hoping that he is on the good side. Perhaps that line isn't as tiny as Jess thinks? Another great chapter! I loved the depiction of Jess trying to be there for Rory, yet it is Rory that is more of a lifeline to him even in her condition. I can't wait for the next chapter!
PhoenixRising chapter 54 . 12/25/2011
Lorelai pays a visit to Jess at the beginning of this chapter. Jess appears to be asleep, but Lorelai sits at his bedside and talks to him anyway, confident that he can hear her. This scene showed a very compassinoate side to Lorelai, as she tries to stop Jess from blaming himself for Rory's condition, even though she admits that she briefly blamed him herself. Lorelai even points out that Jess' past behavior of giving in to suicide is not the answer, and I liked how she accused him of insulting her by pretending to be asleep. It turns out that Jess is faking after all, but is in no state of mind to answer, which only angers Lorelai even more. She grabs his hand and yells at him, forcing him to open his eyes. Jess stubbornly tries to give Lorelai the same speech that he gave Luke, but Lorelai isn't having any of it. She reminds Jess that he has a child now, and can no longer be so selfish with both Rory and the baby in danger. I loved how determined Lorelai was here, not letting Jess avoid the reality of the situation. Lorelai's words cut right through the page as she demands that Jess stop fooling himself into thinking that he's doing what's best for Rory when he is, in fact, only thinking about what is best for himself. I loved that line!

Lorelai's plea seems to work, as Jess tells her that he will try to pull himself together for Rory. Lorelai advises Jess that he'd better do more than just "try" and do the best that he can for her daughter. Jess finally asks about the baby, and Lorelai assures him that the doctors are monitoring the baby, but that Rory needs to stay in the hospital until she gives birth. Jess promises to visit Rory as soon as he is released, and Lorelai goes to see her daughter. Lorelai's conversation with Jess was one of your bests scenes yet, making Jess have to face his own hypocrisy and take responsibility. Lorelai finds her daughter awake, and Rory immediately asks about Jess. Her mother tries to convince her that Jess is alright, but after having seen the look on his face, Rory rightly fears that he has returned to his suicidal behavoir. Just as Rory is convinced that something bad has happend to him, Jess the appears suddenly at door - pushing his I.V. along with him. It didn't take Rory long to figure out why Jess was there, and is upset that he again tried to kill himself after having made so much progress. Jess admits that he made a mistake and will try to never do it again, telling Rory that this is all he can promise her now. Rory doesn't seem entirely convinced, as Jess is trying to become more responsible, but isn't quite there yet. Im' glad that he is at least making the attempt, and that Lorelai really came through for her daughter in spite of not approving of Jess. Another great chapter! I can't wiat for the next one! No matter what anyone says, the writing and grammar improve with each chapter, and the story never loses its pace! Merry Christmas, and have a Happy New Year!
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