|Reviews for Scarlet and Kain|
| FireBurnsBrighter chapter 1 . 4/6/2011
try to use paragraphing... it gets a bit cluttered and a bit hard to read... i sort of like it though. just remember that paragraphing. also... his name is Kian. not Kain.
| Gemsta rox chapter 1 . 1/4/2011
Love it! Please update asap!
| motherpucker chapter 1 . 5/8/2010
It's done in a distracting way - please seperate the dialogue. It's easier to read the story. There were some very sweet bits in that but it seems very rushed.
Also, I think you should go into a bit more detail. How Scarlett feels, maybe her looking back on things. I'm not exactly sure, but just something else in it, as it's very short.
Very nicely done, other than that.
| Edwardfan1997 chapter 1 . 4/28/2010
not bad, but please seperate dialogue, a main rule in writing speech. it's spelt Kian, and Scarlett.
I think it's a good plot, but it flows a little too fast, and some things aren't explained properly. You should write when this happens-maybe in the summary, so people will get interested in it, and try to describe how Scarlett is feeling more. And because of everything so tightly packed together, it seems like you did it in a bit of a rush.
When you finish writing something, check over it carefully, thinking, 'Does it flow well?'
'Does it seem too sudden?', etc.
And also the summary is to draw people's attention, make them want to read yours better than other people's. Read other people's summaries and compare it to yours. 'Does it sound interesting?'
'Does it make me want to read it?'
Don't be so excited at posting a new story that you rush it and post it without checking through it properly.
I love the plot, I just think that using writing techniques would make it more addicting and interesting.
| Stella-g1rL chapter 1 . 3/12/2010
First off, if this is completed, shouldn't you specify that?
Anyway, to help you out, you probably ought to look at my FeedBack for your Indigo Blue FF.
To that FB, I'd like to say, it applies to this one as well. But could you also try to separate you dialogue, please? It, too, is extremely distracting. But your spelling's really good in this story compared to the Indigo Blue FF. And I think it makes way more sense, but it's going to make even more sense if you separate the dialogue.
Otherwise it is a really beautiful chapter in the story of Scarlett.
P.S. You spelled his name wrong. It's Kiann. her name has two T's, by the way.