|Reviews for One Last Chance|
| Annoy mouse chapter 1 . 11/4/2014
Wow, this Harry is even stupider and less effective than canon. I guess that horcrux helped him quite a bit then lol
| alliesmithok chapter 3 . 7/30/2014
| LeviLL chapter 3 . 7/19/2014
no base for points made and feelings expressed.. just a bunch of temper tantrums written in good format...
| dispassioneight chapter 3 . 6/22/2014
This is well done so far. I like his relationships with everyone greatly. I hope you come back to this story some day
| KnightlyDreamer chapter 3 . 6/19/2014
| Wizco chapter 3 . 6/15/2014
This was a very incoherently written piece. Your timeline seems to jump all over the place, your Hogwarts Express had cabins the size of rooms and your Harry switches the way he addresses people constantly.
On the order of events: Harry saved Orion in Grimmauld at a moment in time you propose Sirius was at school (You say Orion died when Sirius was at school and the Death Eaters would have killed Orion had Harry not been there). Yet in the chase seconds later the school children are milling around in Diagon alley. He meets Alice at Hogwarts, yet with all those school children at Diagon we can only guess school to be out at that time, a guess confirmed by the school sorting only happening later.
On Grimmauld: Sirius' mentions in OotP that his father had many protections on the house making it ideally suited as the Order HQ, yet these two DE's had apparently had no problem invading the house. And after the battle you appear to have them back in Grimmauld, despite the place being compromised.
Harry fights of two Death Eaters but has trouble with school children.
Harry apparates into Diagon Alley but doesn't disapparate from it.
McGonagal gets along with Pomfrey (your words) yet condemns Harry after a misunderstanding. We can assume that Pomfrey at least explained the situation should she want to keep her job.
Harry wears Orion's expensive school robes but doesn't have any pants?
Harry's character is all over the place. Perhaps this can be expected because he's displaced in time, but your characterization of him hardly holds any rhyme or reason.
In short, this was a very hard story to follow.
Though I commend you on your English.
| Skyray chapter 1 . 5/26/2014
Ugh, what's with all the POV switches and summary text? I hope following chapters won't be in summary mode too...
Already getting too much into a habit of skipping such densely packed stuff: goes on without saying anything of interaction between characters besides boring "X looked, Y glared, and Z did nothing. Then people left" - boring!
| Guest chapter 3 . 2/11/2014
| Guest chapter 1 . 1/4/2014
His too Gryffindor.
Gryffindor has become a term for idiot reckless stupidity :)
| kariza2013 chapter 1 . 12/26/2013
please please write another one
| uwishuwerecool chapter 3 . 12/21/2013
is there more? love story
| Alice chapter 1 . 10/7/2013
My name is Alice, my boyfriend and I were separated for a long period due to some misunderstanding, I came across different spell casters and they were all unable to bring my lover back. I was so sad and almost gave up on him when i met a spell caster called Dr. Desmond, who helped me get my lover back. Ever since then i have been so happy and couldn't believe it would happen. He also helped me with success spell, I have been living happily with my lover now and will be getting married soon. Here is his contact if you need his help on getting your ex back, stop your marriage from crumbling, or you need success in every aspect of your life. He is really a good spell caster.
| GatorLHA2 chapter 3 . 8/11/2013
Fascinating, Bene Factum
| HoosierCullen chapter 3 . 6/2/2013
Okay now this is an interesting fic and a great start to what seems to be a long series from you if you decided to keep going with it. The characters are interesting and the love interest for Harry is vague right now. The scene with Poppy in the hospital wing was funny. Bella being saved would be good and fit the fic and ridding the world of Draco by Harry falling for Narcissa would be cool. The fact that he was placed in Slytherin will help protect the Black sisters and keep the Slytherins from becoming Death Munchers.
| Paladin Nox chapter 3 . 5/25/2013
Very interesting and unique. Thanks for sharing