|Reviews for One Last Chance|
| MikeyBlue chapter 3 . 5/16
amazing story I really enjoyed it is there ever going to be a second one just truly amazing maybe a book 2!
| Essos chapter 1 . 4/21
this book sux
| Essos chapter 1 . 4/20
this book sux
| The Keeper of Worlds chapter 3 . 1/30
This is good:)
| Guest chapter 3 . 1/23
How can u be heartless...u Kudi
| d.gracey chapter 3 . 1/21
this is one of the worst harry fanfictions i have ever read!
he's an idiot how for some reason can not stop makeing his own life an absolut hell
he's a loser how can't stop putting is own foot in his mouth
| Pollux Black chapter 3 . 6/23/2015
An excellent idea that was splendidly executed. I hope, however, that this isn't the end. Well done.
| Annoy mouse chapter 1 . 11/4/2014
Wow, this Harry is even stupider and less effective than canon. I guess that horcrux helped him quite a bit then lol
| alliesmithok chapter 3 . 7/30/2014
| LeviLL chapter 3 . 7/19/2014
no base for points made and feelings expressed.. just a bunch of temper tantrums written in good format...
| dispassioneight chapter 3 . 6/22/2014
This is well done so far. I like his relationships with everyone greatly. I hope you come back to this story some day
| KnightlyDreamer chapter 3 . 6/19/2014
| Wizco chapter 3 . 6/15/2014
This was a very incoherently written piece. Your timeline seems to jump all over the place, your Hogwarts Express had cabins the size of rooms and your Harry switches the way he addresses people constantly.
On the order of events: Harry saved Orion in Grimmauld at a moment in time you propose Sirius was at school (You say Orion died when Sirius was at school and the Death Eaters would have killed Orion had Harry not been there). Yet in the chase seconds later the school children are milling around in Diagon alley. He meets Alice at Hogwarts, yet with all those school children at Diagon we can only guess school to be out at that time, a guess confirmed by the school sorting only happening later.
On Grimmauld: Sirius' mentions in OotP that his father had many protections on the house making it ideally suited as the Order HQ, yet these two DE's had apparently had no problem invading the house. And after the battle you appear to have them back in Grimmauld, despite the place being compromised.
Harry fights of two Death Eaters but has trouble with school children.
Harry apparates into Diagon Alley but doesn't disapparate from it.
McGonagal gets along with Pomfrey (your words) yet condemns Harry after a misunderstanding. We can assume that Pomfrey at least explained the situation should she want to keep her job.
Harry wears Orion's expensive school robes but doesn't have any pants?
Harry's character is all over the place. Perhaps this can be expected because he's displaced in time, but your characterization of him hardly holds any rhyme or reason.
In short, this was a very hard story to follow.
Though I commend you on your English.
| Skyray chapter 1 . 5/26/2014
Ugh, what's with all the POV switches and summary text? I hope following chapters won't be in summary mode too...
Already getting too much into a habit of skipping such densely packed stuff: goes on without saying anything of interaction between characters besides boring "X looked, Y glared, and Z did nothing. Then people left" - boring!
| Guest chapter 3 . 2/11/2014