|Reviews for One Last Chance|
| Guest chapter 3 . 2/11
| Guest chapter 1 . 1/4
His too Gryffindor.
Gryffindor has become a term for idiot reckless stupidity :)
| kariza2013 chapter 1 . 12/26/2013
please please write another one
| uwishuwerecool chapter 3 . 12/21/2013
is there more? love story
| Alice chapter 1 . 10/7/2013
My name is Alice, my boyfriend and I were separated for a long period due to some misunderstanding, I came across different spell casters and they were all unable to bring my lover back. I was so sad and almost gave up on him when i met a spell caster called Dr. Desmond, who helped me get my lover back. Ever since then i have been so happy and couldn't believe it would happen. He also helped me with success spell, I have been living happily with my lover now and will be getting married soon. Here is his contact if you need his help on getting your ex back, stop your marriage from crumbling, or you need success in every aspect of your life. He is really a good spell caster.
| GatorLHA2 chapter 3 . 8/11/2013
Fascinating, Bene Factum
| HoosierCullen chapter 3 . 6/2/2013
Okay now this is an interesting fic and a great start to what seems to be a long series from you if you decided to keep going with it. The characters are interesting and the love interest for Harry is vague right now. The scene with Poppy in the hospital wing was funny. Bella being saved would be good and fit the fic and ridding the world of Draco by Harry falling for Narcissa would be cool. The fact that he was placed in Slytherin will help protect the Black sisters and keep the Slytherins from becoming Death Munchers.
| Paladin Nox chapter 3 . 5/25/2013
Very interesting and unique. Thanks for sharing
| Debate4life chapter 3 . 5/14/2013
Very much enjoyed this story, and I hope you'll let me know when you upload book 2.
| Lord Mortensen chapter 3 . 5/11/2013
awesome! please update soon!
| blackbloodywolf chapter 3 . 4/8/2013
why did he glow?
| Elaine du Lac chapter 2 . 3/26/2013
Nice story but you might consider getting a beta-reader to edit your story. I'm guessing by the way you construct your sentences that English is not your first language? The writing style feels very constructed and somewhat forced. It actually gives the narrative an artistic flair if not for the actual grammatical rule-breakings like inconsistencies in tenses, missing articles (a, an, the) etc. Plus, people in this story talk to themselves out loud way too much to be realistic giving the scenes a kind of hal-mad, surreal quality, as if everyone is walking around in a daydream and muttering to themselves.
| sarah-rose76646 chapter 3 . 3/5/2013
The story's plot is quite interesting. But the execution of it, is very amateurish. The emotions of the characters are messed up. One moment they are there, next moment they suffer mood swings. People think their thought out loud. "-" should be used when there is a conversion going on or someone is saying something out loud. If they are thinking something, use '-'.
There was the scene with Poppy Pomphrey, that should have been very comic, hilarious even. But in the end, it was only confusing. He fell, she fell, her position, the fall on the bed, Minerva's arrival... all of these actions very not very well explained. You need more experience in writing, I totally understand. Do ask for help if you need it. Join a forum. Some of them offer help with ideas, you can make good contacts and improve your skills.
One last thing, don't stretch a scene too long, if it can be done in less. It makes things quite boring, I've noticed. You've already improved much since the first chapter, and it's only been 3 chapters yet, so I know that the later chapters would be even better. One you are sure in your writing skills, around halfway through the story, or in case you hit the writer's block, use the extra time to re-edit the first chapters so that they are as good as the later ones.
| Akuma-Heika chapter 1 . 3/1/2013
her eyes speaking volumes about how much she was detesting this. If she originally wanted this to protect her family, now it was turning into something more sinister.
Sinister? If she is detesting this than why is her thoughts turning sinister?
| N a b s t e R chapter 1 . 1/19/2013
are you going to write the next book soon?