Reviews for Order Up
Lady Jaye1 chapter 7 . 4/26/2010
Poor Annie, she's slowly (or quickly) discovering just how different this post is. The fire fight was very well done, as well as the well executed crotch hit on Zartan.

I'm very much enjoying the way you're writing this story, from the perspective of a greenshirt and not one of the regular Joes.
CrystalOfEllinon chapter 7 . 4/25/2010
I am...somewhat surprised that Storm DID stand down. Though he DID swear to serve Hawk...but still. There is going to be one highly pissy ninja (Okay, two highly pissy ninja) for awhile.

Love the 'thumbs to the throat', though. That's actually a highly effective strike...It'll put anyone down FAST, doesn't matter how big they are. And then, as you beautifully demonstrated, you are absolutely perfectly set up for a choke hold, and they're still half-winded from the strike, so it's just that much easier. It also hurts like hell, and will for a couple weeks until the tracheal bruising heals. Talking isn't fun during this time. Do not ask me how I know this.

This whole chapter was fantastic. I love battle scenes, and you write them exceedingly well.
Strapakai chapter 7 . 4/25/2010
What an introduction to the Real GI Joe. I feel bad for Annie.

This is a great story. I am anxious to hear more.

I would love to read about how Scarlet knew it was not Snakeyes.

What gave Zartan away.
Loki21 chapter 7 . 4/25/2010
WOW! Excellent! Indeed, no humour in there, but a LOT of action. Very good action, I loved it! I hope there will be more chapters. Thanks for the piece :)
Karama9 chapter 7 . 4/25/2010
Nice chapter... you don't have to be funny ALL the time, a bit of plot is nice too. That being said, do I sense incoming KP duties for the ninjas? Under Control Freak? That could certainly qualify as funny, especially when she finally remembers she still has to do hand-to-hand with them.
Frog1 chapter 7 . 4/25/2010
Short-stack needs a vacation, deperateley. I assume the ninja are going to be in big trouble with Hawk?
mossley chapter 7 . 4/25/2010
Ah, sorry for not catching up with these updates earlier. It's such a neat idea for a story, and you're doing a wonderful job with the execution of it.
katdemon1895 chapter 7 . 4/25/2010
very dramatic chapter, glad that annie managed to pull through okay and the bit with zartan daring to impersonate snake eyes was interesting, i almost wish that hawk had been just a fraction slower, ah well, great chapter, looking forward to when you add more
willwrite4fics chapter 7 . 4/25/2010
That was exciting! Sounded very much like a standard person in a real battle for the first time. I'll bet Scarlett knew it wasn't SnakeEyes because of the "loud footsteps" first. Very neat, and great to see Order Up on the way again!
Frankizzle chapter 7 . 4/25/2010
The dream bit at the beginning really confused me... I was like, is that Beach? No wait, it's Junkyard... or is it? What? And then she woke up, and it all made sense.

You showed Annie's fear really well, I'm really glad she didn't just turn into some awesome Cobra killing machine. And yes, I would have flinched when the ninjas passed me too. Scary. Shocking that Storm Shadow didn't kill Zartan though, I pretty much expected him too. Zartan deserves it :( Next time, next time.
CrystalOfEllinon chapter 6 . 3/24/2010
What...You can't attain enlightenment by punching someone's kidneys out through their nose?

"Sniggers uncontrollably."

Okay, I'm good. that line cracked me up. So did "Sergent Major Showy" and "Sensei Bacon." Brilliant.

And Hitler was a vegetarian. As an american, it it thus my patriotic duty to eat delicious dead animals. And goddamnit is it true about customers...I put in my couple years in food service as a waitress at a local diner for my first job when I was sixteen, and so I am qualified to say this; Customers are the ENEMY. Getting one of them shoved under the fryer vats to replace a valve would be sweet, sweet victory.

Sorry about your computer, but thanks for the tasty tidbit to tide us over.
trecebo chapter 6 . 3/23/2010
Go, Annie, go, Annie! *does the little dance that goes with the chant. Great lead in to the upcoming plot. Kinda gets us into her mindset so when hell breaks a nail, we're sort of ready for the heck that follows.
Lady Jaye1 chapter 6 . 3/23/2010
Sorry to hear that your computer is acting up. I enjoyed the chapter though, nice to see what the quartermaster and etc have to do/put up with on a daily basis in the Pit.
Frog1 chapter 6 . 3/23/2010
(Snicker) Funny! And I'm glad you updated! I do have a few questions though: Will she ever call Storm Shadow "Sensei Bacon to he's face and will Storm Shadow ever get on KP duty as a punishment?

Also, this sentence: With a bark of "Semper fit your ass under that sink and check those pipes, KP boy! You're in my world now!", she had earned herself the new nickname of Control Freak and her own brand-new punishment assignment from the ranking quartermasters" Does this mean that she will handle the punishments to those assigned to KP duty (as a punishment) or did she receive punishment from the ranking quartermasters?
slapshot22 chapter 6 . 3/23/2010
Sorry about your laptop, it seems to be going around. I hope you were able to recover some stuff. I still love this story! The snapshot of Short Stack's day, with commentary, is great. Sensei Bacon. Hee! :)
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