|Reviews for Captain My Captain|
| Mari Drdogreth chapter 46 . 3/16/2007
Nice chapter, I'm glad she finally chose to face her fear of that hill.
The ending of this chapter is really creepy! ~_~
Good one, too. Only thing that confused me was the leap in time. I think it would be better if you indicated "Two days later..." or something like it right at the beginning. Of course readers won't be wondering about what is going on this way, but it's really confusing the way it is right now. I first pondered whether it was possibly a dream she was having.
Ah yes, and good she's been seeing Mablung again. But there are still some other rangers that have been badly neglected, too ;-). Wonder if she'll meet them again in some future chapter.
Well, now it's off to bed. *yawns*
| Mari Drdogreth chapter 43 . 3/16/2007
Yay, she has family! *smiles* ingenious. And most intriguing. you always find new ways to give the plot unexpected turns... one surprise after the other :D! Now before I turn somersaults in my enthusisam, I'll type another page of the notes for my presentation and then return to the story once more. Though I really need to make some longer break at some point, or I will have finishes reading so soon. _
weathebeaten - weatherbeaten
A lot of wonderful atmosphere, romantic, tense, funny and sad. Great dialogue. Thumbs up.
Kind regards, Mari
most of the guests set to eating with a gusto the belied the fact that they’d had food to hand all afternoon. - that
and that t is solely
| Mari Drdogreth chapter 42 . 3/16/2007
Did I write nonsense about Hethlin having nothing than a brief acquaintance with the hobbits? I don't remember the according chapters in such detail anymore. Sry
Wonderfully written! I'm always a little uneasy about chapters with hobbits - afaik, many ff-writers make them too cute. Usually I seem to be the only one who minds, though - whether because all others revel in their affection for the small-child-pattern or whether because I judge this too harshly, I don't know. But anyway: There's nothing to be discontent about here, you did brilliantly, and I'm all the more delighted for it :-).
And I like it how you let your characters have and solve their arguments without getting out of character. If Imrahil is supposed to be polite, he will quarrel politely. If Hethlin is supposed to be quite mature, she will eventually act so. The noble people don't have no conflicts in your story, they just know how to cope with them in an adequate manner. Sounds simple, but I think it's marvellous.
But enough of bootlicking, for now... ;-)
Chapter 43 awaits, and that means there are only 10 left, and this doesn't sound nice, and what did I just say about boots?
Kind regards, Mari
| Mari Drdogreth chapter 41 . 3/16/2007
Did I ask for more action? I should have known that you know when suspense is falling and the plot is in need of some breathtaking battles. Breathtaking it was!
nice comment about the library of Imladris *gg*
hehe . I wondered whether you wouldn't let her meet the hobbits at all - I mean meet longer than walking past them in some street *g*
That was a very good chapter :-). Likeditlikeditlikedit.
You really surprised me with Faramir and Aragorn there - I didn't expect that in the least. Nice )!
waking only when we stopped in the night to eat some supper, and fall right back - falling ?
once. more. - once more.
| Mari Drdogreth chapter 38 . 3/14/2007
Concerning chapter 38:
“My heart is gladdened by the invitation to participate in a demonstration of your recovery, my lord prince,” - what a fine talk *laughs*
That was a wonderful chapter! I can't say just what it was that made it so - everthing together, probably - but I'm in very good spirits now *g* and - this WILL sound strange - my ears are all hot, in theory my version of blushing, but happens rather when I'm a mix of delighted and excited
e to the
stableman’s promise - superfluous paragraph
Concerning chapter 39:
"Now, is there some particular reason... " Whuo, glad the teachers I had never told me something like that in my riding lessons ;D
"... made me laugh ... " me too
"... and when the stallion oofed, tightened the girth the last two notches he had hoped I would forget about. " *gg*
Ah, that was a very good chapter, once again :-)
Thanks a lot!
“A Ranger... - now I THINK there is some particularity about English paragraphs when the one and the same person is speaking over a longer period of time. If this were correct, it would have to be:
| Mari Drdogreth chapter 36 . 3/14/2007
36: "None of the men wished to forego the battle:" says it's "forgo" in this usage. Mari herself doesn't know
I didn't find anything else in the chapters 36 and 37 - except of course a very pleasant read and the expected Isabeau-quality of writing :-) Due to plot, the latest chapters (up to 37, that is) aren't as thrilling as the very first ones, but I still read them with great interest and ... joy? happiness? ah whatever it is exactly, I like reading them
| Mari Drdogreth chapter 34 . 3/13/2007
ch34: Another nice chapter. Not that much happened, but I liked reading it nonetheless. This eagle speech is really curious, and has his own tone to it that fits well.
ch35: ... that Weather Happens. I like that statement.
By the way: however did you find out that there exist such things as horse litters? I never heard anything of them before I read your story. Very interesting.
And a very good chapter, once more :-).
Best wishes, Mari
she declared - she declared.
were unaware of my barreness..
May you journey to Edoras be swift and smooth.”
| Mari Drdogreth chapter 33 . 3/12/2007
I forgot to include something in my reviews that wasn't enough to fill one on its own, so I copied it into a .txt-file and forgot about it. That was about chapter 29:
"someone must see that they are properly corrupted"-
are most likely - there are quite some double space characters in this chapter.
My oath to you should have sufficient for him - sufficed? be s.?
then le him do it
Soho now for the 'new' chapter, a stroll under the stars! Strolls under the stars are soo beautiful :-) back to topic, though *g* I like the way you depict Arwen very much. It's a fresh way, with just enough dignity to make her seem realistic but not aloof. Well, I guess that pretty much describes how I feel about your description/conception of Elves in general )
Good night to you!
| Mari Drdogreth chapter 30 . 3/12/2007
Escapism rulez! No, normally it doesn't rulez, but when you come home from school too tired to do anything proper anyway, then it rulez! ;D
Don't worry, I'm doing my work. Your chapters have just the right lengt to use as a reward while working ;-).
chap32: could not.”
| Mari Drdogreth chapter 28 . 3/11/2007
Ah, what happened to my review from yesterday X-
Obviously didn't like my asking what kind of symbol was being replaced with this rectangle thingies. Wait a mom, I'll try to remember the gist of what I wrote...
the solution with the eagle was ingenious
and... yeah I acknowledged no horses were harmed and something...
I think I said I liked the chapters and they were very thrilling...
I'm afraid I don't remember much more but it wasn't that much anyway.
Beautiful, beautiful :-) that chapter 29; and equally absorbing, the one before that. I'm totally content with everything, so what would you have me praise first? ;-)
but no guards [that I could see]. Elladan knocked and spoke something, and they opened, seemingly by themselves, for no one stood guard on the other side [that I could see]. - sounds a bit strange imo.
“Surely you, my lord have had
“Surely you, my lord, have had
surely, I'm a bit picky, but I think those little mistakes are the hardest to find so it might probably be useful to you to have them pointed out to you without having to read the whole story once more - not that I think that would be unpleasant, but I guess you, as the author, probably read your story a couple of times already and probably know a lot of it by heart still.
Well, end of endless talk! *smiles*
| Mari Drdogreth chapter 26 . 3/10/2007
Medical information? Nasty things? Oh, I wondered when it would come to this! It was suspicous, them travelling for so long without having any trouble!
Well, at least it's comforting to know that you can't let anyone die - it would either be AU or your main character wouldn't live to see the other 25 chapters. Hey, wait! You COULD let one of the horses die, or all! *looks a bit shocked, get's all fidgety and can't keep from reading any longer*
| Mari Drdogreth chapter 24 . 3/10/2007
Sorry! I thought I did provide an email-adress, though only once in one of my first reviews and without an (I'm receiving enough spam for my taste already...), so it might be difficult to find. Anyway:
chap24: wah this mischievousness is uncanny! _
" “Indeed?” I asked, pretending ignorance of his meaning. Prince Imrahil groaned. " my god this is STUPID *g*
Laughing slows me down a good deal in reading this chapter *g* this is just so stupidly funny
"“He went in search of his lost etc." *breaks out in laughs again*
"The next time we part, I shall insist you say farewell to all who ride with me in the same manner as you do me." ;D ;D
Oh I haven't done a story with voices in ages! In fact, I haven't even tried to dissemble my voice in ages. Have to find out whether I'm still able to do that, sometime .
Very good chapter! At first I found your conception of Elves a bit strange, but by now I like it :-).
Best wishes, Mari
(besides, do you perchance know any good alternatives to: Yours, Yours always, Best wishes, Yours sincerely? I'm always craving for more *g*. They get boring so soon 0:-)
the sons of Elrohir - rond
Well! - "Well!
| Mari Drdogreth chapter 23 . 3/10/2007
"This is another of those character development chapters, but cheer up-" why? i like character development chapters _
"I looked at my companion and realized we must make quite the sight, with the two lovely Elven horses and their beautiful equipage, and Elrohir looking quite the prince out of legend with his fine armor and weapons, not to mention my livery of Gondor with the jet black hauberk and tabard. He gave me a squint-eyed look, then said hesitantly, “Hethlin?”" I'd rather write "The tavern keeper gave..." Or put a paragaph in between those sentences. The way it is, you could think that Elrohir was speaking.
"air of don’t-mind-me-I’m-just-a-wondrously-fair-creature-out-of-legend" nice :D :D
Wonderful chapter . And very funny, too. Besides, I forgot to mention, I should have said that a few chapters earlier: it's great how you can write quarrels among your characters without one of them seeming the one who's simply right and the other one the one who's wrong and stupid, but that you show their different personalities instead.
Ah, and, and! It seems to me like you really thought this through and researched everthing well - the way you mention what clothes and equipment Elrohir and Hethlin wear just casually, it feels like you've known it forever.
| Isabeau of Greenlea chapter 26 . 3/9/2007
This is a note for Mari, since you've not provided an email address:
I'm very happy you're enjoying the story! It was my first fan-fiction, and still one of my favorites. I am working on an edited version a bit at a time. I really appreciate all of those reviews!
| Mari Drdogreth chapter 22 . 3/9/2007
" “The Rangers did well. This is where I would have put them, I think.” Elrohir nodded.
“It is a beautiful place,” he agreed in his lilting voice. "
This is another passage that confursed me as I first thought Elrohir said the above. I think if you placed the paragraph two words earlier, it would be easier to understand.
I'm saying nothing when I tell you that this chapter was full of wonderfully brought-across emotions, because most of yours are - pardon me, I meant: all are, at least I can't think of any that wasn't ;).
And: Most chapters make me laugh at some point or more often, more often... but this one was above average in this aspect. *smiles merrily*
Best wishes, Mari