Reviews for Carnal Knowledge 101
Viola Cornuta chapter 3 . 1/28/2010
It's hard to find the best bit, when the bits are all so RIEfined, but I do deeply adore the apple core to the tits.
profitina chapter 1 . 1/28/2010
Please tell me she doesnt get preg. That baby is scary. Theyre gonna be in soo much trouble when Charlie sees the bed...or have to explain why she has a new one
Annetteskitty1 chapter 1 . 1/27/2010
My god that was a masterpiece of romance! Hilarious and cute.

I tell you the parka is making cum-back! You appear to use a lot of big words and I didn't know what most of them meant but I tried to use he context clues to get me through. I think I made it!

Is there going to be a sequel...I would love to read how Edward enjoys eating Bella out...after he carries her bridal style to the bed.
Gasaway Alley chapter 3 . 1/27/2010
What are you on? Oh, I know, spoogey eggs and twill toast.
twilightnaley19 chapter 2 . 12/30/2009
susayq chapter 2 . 12/29/2009
Let me tell you my favorite parts of this...

Bella's voracious appetite...Her fucking nuisance of a human appetite was quite possibly the biggest cockblocker of our intimate life

When Bella says...Um, I said Icouldgoferaburger, Edward and all Edward hears is fur burger. I LOST it! LOL

Bella saying this about Edward's **...It’s so cute…kind of like a pig-in-a-blanket! and he translates into French :)

When Bella sarcastically asks, who died and left you in charge and she answers herself with, right, you did.

I could go on. And on. And on. Is it safe to say I liked the whole thing? LOL

susayq chapter 1 . 12/29/2009
You know how much I love this! I couldn't help but giggle all the way through it :)

brandj chapter 2 . 12/22/2009
Same thing as Mirror...fav quotes!

"it was time to take our carnal relationship to the next, deeper, level."

“Edward, why are you doing that gulping, eyes-rolling-into-your-head thing?”

“It’s so cute…kind of like a pig-in-a-blanket!”

“You’re kind of blinding me with the glare of the sun on your glans, big boy. Where’re my shades?”

“And…that flappy thing!”

“Well, it is sort of yummy; in the first stage when it’s all creamy, but when you release it all in, how many was that anyway, like five long spurts?"

“Next time GIVE ME A WARNING before you go all Orange Julius down my throat,”

“Who makes you wet, Bella?”

Suckling the precise creased corner of her mouth, I heard a low, ‘Here we go again’, caught up in the's just all awesomesauce! Have fun BB! MWAH!
SydneyAlice chapter 2 . 12/21/2009
I laugh so hard reading these chapters.

Bella had the audacity to roll her eyes at my frighteningly firm fuck-wand, “Your foreskin keeps getting caught in my Invisalign!”

I died! Died!
Evie has left the building chapter 2 . 12/20/2009
ok- just find somewhere to fit in the "pixie"

"but Bella always does the unexpected"

"tattered sweats"

"curl fingers forward to hit my most sensitive spot" and I think you've got all covered!

Totally f*cking hilarious! God- there is so much overused shit in FF!
dazzledtina chapter 2 . 12/20/2009
Lovely Rie & Ms Vi what a happy night to get some cock au vain in my box ;)

I unloosed her swollen bright lips to demand, “Who makes you wet, Bella?”

Suckling the precise creased corner of her mouth, I heard a low, ‘Here we go again’, before she answered with a sigh, “You do, Edward.”

Braiding my long tapered fingers into her hair and forcing her eyes to mine, her mouth a hairsbreadth away, I implored again, “Scream my name, Bella. I can’t hear you!”

Another mumble across my lips, “Deaf much?”

Dammit! This was not going according to plan. Fast becoming incensed and my cock hardening anew, turned on by her feisty refusal to acquiesce, I cupped her corpulent ass and ground into her juncture, right where her scant panties clothed her perfect nether lips, “WHO MAKES YOU WET, BELLA? Use your outdoor voice! No One Makes You As Wet As I Do, Do They?”

This line cracked me up along with many others.

3rd course please-

Fuck petit fours, next time I wanted Bella on all-fours, in a different manner. Her ass would be mine.
katinki chapter 2 . 12/20/2009
aha i think eddie's a lil obsessive over the blowjob. too funny. but christ i dunno if i can handle vampanal. haha.

best line:

"all I heard was fur burger. And that shit was HOT! "

fuck, if that's not hilarious.

oh, and i get such a kick out of the interspersed exclamatories. makes me giggle and giggle.
katinki chapter 1 . 12/20/2009
*giggles and snorts*

Hot shit, m'dear. As a fellow word lover, I must say I enjoy your vocab. Very funny, indeed.

Methinks the best line is:

“Well, yeah….but what’s with the flappy thing there?”

It never occured to the that Eddie would be... well, uncut.

Too funny.
Viola Cornuta chapter 2 . 12/20/2009
Here is a Christmas Goose for my PeddieBoy and his PrettyGirl, what would my funny bone do without you both!
RosaBella75 chapter 1 . 12/15/2009
M, LURVED me some Cavalier Pendanticward!

Knew he was a Knight in Shining armor, just didn't know it was more of a lavender grey knight! *mwhah*

Her saying "Jiminy cricket!" was histerical and so right on. Loved that his penis was maleable. Yum!

"Small red droplets of her blood stained the sheets like Rorschach blots." Perfect.

"Perhaps some shroom brownies to move this thing on a bit faster?

“Um, that wasn’t my stomach, Edward, that was me.” She blushed crimson red and would have stumbled over her feet to land face first at my crotch had I not been bracing her up against the marble column of my form. Dammit!

Shit! She growled at me? That is so hot.

“I want you in me now,” Bella pronounced, her inner wanton woman unleashed.

Shredding her panties, I sniffed them headily before I hid them amongst my stack of designer clothes…mine.

Laying Bella on her creaking single bed, thankful Shotgun Charlie was working the night shift, I crawled up her body, lethal and predatory. I caressed her pussy with my long piano player’s fingers, circled inside and found that hidden pleasure point, pressed on it until she was spilling, good and wet and greedy."

My favorite section, complete!

Brava, Chica! Lovely way to spend the evening!
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