|Reviews for The Cost of Living|
| zflame393 chapter 1 . 8/18/2011
This story has an excellent fluidity to it. I was just learning about cumulative sentences and you do an excellent job incorporating those into your writing.
| AlizaBeth1985 chapter 1 . 4/13/2011
good theory but it dosent hold water as misty in pokemon movie power of one in orange islands dove into 50 foot waves to save ash this just wouldnt happen this way after orange islands misty would have followed ash into water despite brock's protest it is what it is misty wouldnt have slapt ash for that
| IvyBean chapter 1 . 12/11/2010
YAY! Awwww, this was so cute! :3
POKESHIPPING RULEEZ! I like how u captured their characters and TR...I feel bad for the trio, having to go through the same drill everyday!
Awesome oneshot! :D
| AshandMistyLove chapter 1 . 10/23/2010
aww please finish this!
I wanna find out what happens next!
| Lavenderangel chapter 1 . 8/28/2010
This was lovely. I really enjoyed the flow of the first half and your Ash voice. The ending conversation with Misty was sweet and definitely in character, but the way it was written was a little distracting. Aside from grammar/tense issues, this was a great read.
| Bob chapter 1 . 5/10/2010
That was a really good fanfic! You're a great author! :)
| lulu halulu chapter 1 . 2/23/2010
You write such fantastic and moving pokeshipping stories its amazing! ) I loved this one as well!
| Steveaaml chapter 1 . 1/11/2010
Hey! Lovely work!
| This accound is over chapter 1 . 1/5/2010
it was a nice fic, chracters handled, story handled, heck, everything handled!, but... i don't get it, was it a happy ending or a sad ending?
| FTEcho 4 chapter 1 . 12/14/2009
Honestly, I didn't like it that much. I don't know why not, though. I mean, I can't find anything really WRONG with it. It's not a bad story, and it's well written. The characters are good, and it all makes sense. I guess it just didn't really pull me in. Like, I was struggling to keep reading it. Maybe it's just me, though. Maybe I should try reading it later, and see if I enjoy it then. Oh, well.
| Farla chapter 1 . 12/11/2009
You really shouldn't start with a list of ages, but you gave reasonable ones, and I found the bit about the rain a nice detail that a lot of people wouldn't bother to put in. The characters also seem to be pretty IC.
Dialogue is written as "Hello," he said or "Hello!" he said, never "Hello." He said or "Hello." he said or "Hello," He said or "Hello" he said. The only exception to this is if the next sentence doesn't contain a speech verb, in which case it's written as "Hello." He grinned, never "Hello," he grinned or "Hello," He grinned. Note that something isn't a speech verb just because it's a sound you make with your mouth, so generally stuff like laughed or giggled is in the second category.
That said, it's IC to the degree that it feels a lot like an episode. And considering how fillery the show gets, that's not a good thing.
You wouldn't capitalize animal or mouse, so you shouldn't capitalize words like pokemon or pikachu. The only time you should capitalize it is if you're using it as the pokemon's name, ie, Ash's pikachu is called Pikachu. Similar reasoning should be applied to terms like trainer, types like electric, moves like thundershock, items like pokeballs and undertakings like journey.
Uh. If Pikachu is locked in a glass cage and it's dropped, the impact of the cage hitting the water should break it. I'm willing to grant Pikachu being miraculously okay in a canon where people are always surviving huge distances, but glass has no similar plot armor. Plus, if it didn't break it should float, being full of air.
Also, I get that you want Ash to rush off and be a hero, but it's really hard to believe that Misty would watch Ash jump in and not even try sending out one of her pokemon. You could easily have Ash jump in first, finding Pikachu, only to be rescued in turn by staryu.
It'd also make the lecture and the rest seem more reasonable. "Don't jump in to rescue someone when there are stronger swimmers around" is one thing. You can make a case either way - that more eyes and a faster response is worth it, or that it's reckless and better left to those who know what they're doing. "Don't jump in when none of us are going to help either" is something you'd say about a stuffed animal, not a living pokemon, and it makes his friends seem horrible.
See, you're doing a good job with the relationship angle in general here, showing how Misty's usual behavior is in part because she cares about him, and Ash's characterization is great. The problem is that unless we accept Pikachu's life as worth way less than anyone else's, the only other interpretation is Misty feeling that Ash not risking his life ever is more important than other people dying. Which may be romantic but it's in a pretty creepy, selfish and possessive way.
| blueMnM415 chapter 1 . 12/10/2009
I love reading your stories because you are one of the few good Pokemon AAML writers still out there! This pairing and this show makes me so happy, so i love every new fic you come out with, this one is no different. Awesome job, i loved Misty slapping him, knocking some sense into him if you will, and their cute little conversation about how much they mean to each other, so sweet.
I would love one shots or chapter updates What ever your heart compels you to write, i cannot wait to read it! D 3
| Chels chapter 1 . 12/10/2009
Okay, so I have to leave so, its just quicker to write the review here.
To just sum up th review- It was a really great story, everyone was in character and I could see it happening.
| jade destiny chapter 1 . 12/9/2009
Aww, as much as I would love for you to go and continue writing IS and SKoL, I also absolutely love your one-shots. They are simple but very sweet/cute. I like that. This one is quite good. To be honest, when I read the summary about how Misty does something that she hasn't done since she met Ash for the first time, I wasn't too sure what that was.. and then when I read the part about Ash jumping into the water and getting thrown around trying to find Pikachu, I really believed that the thing she was going to do was pull Ash out of the water with a fish rod, like the first time.. But, I was obviously wrong.. haha. I like the slap. It's even better than the fish rod thing lol. It was good to see Misty react to what Ash does and it's good to hear Ash explain his behaviors.. Overall, good fanfic!
| snooper roofle chapter 1 . 12/9/2009
I liked this a lot! The serious tone was nice. Although I really don't fault Ash for what he did and I would've taken his side in that argument.
BTW I'd really like an update to IS and SKoL more so than more oneshots. I really love those fics and want more. But that's just me.