|Reviews for Snowed|
| Captain Pi chapter 1 . 9/11/2014
Very Sweet. Very sugary. Very Fluffy-Time, Fluffy-Stuff, Stuff. Mee Likee Alot 4 Long Long Time! The 'mo mushier, the 'mo gushier, the 'mo 'betta! Thanks for sharing!
| TheLittleBeast chapter 1 . 2/12/2014
'Oh don't tell me- a snow job?'
OMG. LAWL LOL XD BEST LINE EVER.
| rainebowbright chapter 1 . 5/31/2013
Snow job...heh heh
| Umbrae Calamitas chapter 1 . 1/31/2011
Hahahahhaha! So absolutely adorable! I love Pavel! I love him so much! And you've completely converted me to Sulu/Chekhov. I'll never pair them with anyone else.
I do so love how devious our little Ariel is. Wonderful!
| Justasimplekidfrombrooklyn chapter 1 . 12/6/2010
absolutely adorable ;-;
words cant explain the amazement i am currently in
lets just leave it at "AWWWWWWWWWW" shall we :)?
| Blip-chan chapter 1 . 5/1/2010
my gosh, thst was cute! XD
| T'Key'la chapter 1 . 3/17/2010
This was deliciously wonderful! I loved every word of it. That Pavel. He's a devious little thing. And could they be more in love. Just wow! Loved it. And the fact that Kirk went along with those "stories." "I knew he'd ask me that..."
| katerad4 chapter 1 . 1/13/2010
Both of them doing eye-color-matching Christmas things? Too cute!
| Sandshrew777 chapter 1 . 1/7/2010
OK, so remember how in "Playlist" I asked you to explore Sulu/Chekov mid-relationship? Right, forgot you already did that. Silly me. Smack me with a plum, will you? Thanks. :)
Anyway, I think I was far too stuffy in my last review, so I'm making myself lighten up. As per your review reply: Aww. I don't mean to give people stomach-fallings out! I hate that. Guess it comes with the territory I marked out for myself? But I try to be gentle! :) And as for the reading-too-much into your work thing, don't worry about feeling like a fraud. I do that to everyone. Someone said about me in poetry workshop, and I generally quote: "I don't have a damn clue what the hell he's gonna say. He sees fog and thinks it's the ghost of my guy's father or something. I put a deer and a man in there and he told me it was gay sex. I don't know what's gonna come out of his mouth next, but I love hearing what it is, 'cause it's usually insane."
So don't worry-I'm cuckoo, verifiably. Others think so, too. ;) (Seriously, though, I don't think we ever think about what others see in our stuff-if any of the authors of the classics showed up, I think they'd laugh their heads off at what we think they thought about. But I like to try and dissect why or why not something works, and so breaking down technique is the best way around it for me. Usually folks don't mind playing along. :P)
Back to the story (or, rather, to the story at last!). I think this opens neatly. No heavy hits in the exposition, but reading it back with the end in mind, it's cute to see hints of Pavel lying in his body language. Glossed over it the first time, I did. Good work. Maybe too subtle, though? One or two more body language hints might've drawn my attention to it more, if you wanted me to get that "something's up, reader, pay attention!" hint. If not, if you wanted me to be tricked alongside poor Hikaru, then you succeeded, 'cause I was. ;) Pleasantly so.
I appreciate that Pavel throws off Hikaru's anger at the end of scene one. (I act as if this were a play-intermission! I demand an intermission! Ushers!) It turns the scene to the "readers, pay attention" angle, but also undercuts the drama. It could be an ABC Family TV show there, where the couple miscommunicates, fights over something silly, and takes it all too damned seriously. Pavel knows he's throwing a hissy-fit (albeit a justified one, but a hissy), so he pushes it aside. Good on Pavel.
The second scene opens with a blatant hint to the reader-all is not what it seems-but we need big hints sometimes. Plus, the trickery is not the focus here for you, it seems; it's Pavel's trick, but you're eager to let us in on it. I dig that. I also dig you digging in to this Hikaru's past. That paragraph about SF was enough for me to get in to his personality without the life story. Succinct and colorful.
And: I see Pavel's grandmother knits, and I see a scarf, and I smile. :P Again Hikaru undercuts the sweetness here with his "I am the most pathetic fucking sap ever" line; in Sleepwatching, I made Pavel undercut it with the "or vampires attack" line. Deflation and comedy are the two best ways to level out saccharinity, so good work.
I would've smacked Pavel, if he'd pulled the "I'm a damsel in distress, save me, my love!" trick on me, and I appreciate Hikaru's reaction. I wonder if he would worry about mind control, however, because my first thought was "Pavel wouldn't change personalities so fast, he was so worried before, danger, danger, think fast", but then again I fear mind control like cats do baths. In short I think the tension could have been extended a bit more, that Pavel might've had to have worked harder to calm him down. Hikaru's quick, but not that quick, I think.
The lovers' nest is nice (underdescribed for me, but I always love too many details), but the dialogue shines. They are certainly ready to go, and their lovetalk is sweet, hot, and true. Its realness keeps it from being overly sugary-excellently done. I think you've got their personalities in sexual activity right, too.
One minor note-if Hikaru's going to use the word "cock", don't put it in a sentence that follows him using the phrase "contradictory signals"...or just before him "groaning in sheer frustration." Cock is a word to be used when you want to be dirty, not intellectual. Hikaru's been tiptoeing around that word, that language, for the most part-if you're going to jar him into it, go. You do in his orgasm scene, to great effect (it's nicely written, although "single-minded intensity that was uniquely his own" is a bit much to think during a BJ, even for a scientist). You can too do smut, so don't back out of it when you're ready to let it fly. (Uh...puns unintended.)
The love declarations are fitting for afterglow, although they suffer from what I mentioned in the last review-declarative affirmations are dangerous, and Hikaru makes one at the end of the scene to us in his narration. It's a good attempt to justify the sweetness of it all, but it's too self-conscious on your part, not really even his. That's why it doesn't quite connect.
Pavel Christmas day joyous childhood attitude love. That is all.
I like the reveal, and the events of the final scenes. The surprise unravels nicely for Hikaru and us both, because we're not expecting more. And, of course, the sex is fine. :) Hikaru is certainly a dominator. Scientists do like to be in control at all times.
Snow job? Hilarious. Love it. :)
I really do like the final two scenes, and I think it's where you find your flow. The dialogue hits, there is description, and we get the unraveling of Pavel's surprise and plans, with sex sprinkled in. I think that's where a fluff piece works the best, and it's doing it here.
Quite the lovely piece, really, and it was a wonderful surprise for me when I read it. And again now that I reviewed it. :)
Thanks, and keep writing. :)
| TheDreamerLady chapter 1 . 1/3/2010
OH MY GOD SO CUTE, OH MAN OH MAN. Jeeze, I wish I'd gotten around to reading this sooner. So nice! So happy!
SO FREAKING CUTE.
Man, I wish I had someone like Chekov, instead of boys who forget that they're suppose to buy Christmas presents. Ano, we move on, yes?
CUTE! Well written! Adorable! Joyous!
Keep writing, you're absolutely marvelous at it.
| talk-ape chapter 1 . 12/30/2009
| SeventhTatar chapter 1 . 12/20/2009
WELL. that was CUTE! Pavel IS a devious little angel, isn't he! i loved it. and it wasn't TOO smutty
| empty-phaser chapter 1 . 12/18/2009
great story! :D
| Handful of Silence chapter 1 . 12/13/2009
This defintely has a different feel to it then the 'Both Ways..' verse. I need to remember that when you say 'smutty' you obviously mean it. That was ...very smutty. But good smut :-)
Great story as per usual. I love the idea of Sulu wanting to spend Christmas with Chekov, but being disappionted, and our favourite little Russian being a devious bugger and organising it all behind his back. Chekov thought of absolutely everything didn't he ? :-)
Lovely fluffy Sulu/Chekov story right in time for Christmas, and I love it as always.
| CeilingNinja chapter 1 . 12/11/2009
*flails* You are the queen of Chekov/Sulu. I adore everything about this fic!