Reviews for Flawed Design
Blazingstars chapter 6 . 8/17/2010
Hey Whisperedthreats,

I absolutely love this story! amazing! admittedly i got in a little late but hey, now i am totally hooked! it well written the dialogue is succinct and realistic and it isn't so obtusely supernatural that i cant get my head around it! love love love it! cant wait for the next chapter.

Blazingstars x.
Momokobo chapter 6 . 5/23/2010
Hey! This is a really good story! It's well written, and has an original plot that fits fairly well into the Naruto storyline. So keep it up! And update sooooon! :)
XxDarkSarcasm1010xX chapter 6 . 4/10/2010
E! That's so cute! The Kakashi and kinade fluff:) But wow, I was not expecting that. Aww, Poor Kakashi, I hope kinade finally saves him ffrom his lonlyness:)

Update soon!

I'm still wondering if the four Uchia's are going to get into a gread battle/ Madara, Sasuke, Itachi and Kinade! Woo, thats gonna be a show! Great chappie!
MaliBiser chapter 6 . 4/4/2010

This time I think I'll compliment your ability to add details to the emotions your characters experience and thus make them so realistic. Kinade's dying was described frighteningly well - I could picture and sometimes almost feel the sights (not the best sensation in the world :D ). And it's clear to the readers that you, as a writer, really put yourself in characters' position - you live everything through. That's definitely one of your strong points.

Kakashi was a bit too eloquent for a person rushing for help with a dying friend in arms for me, but other than that - I think yore doing nicely. :D

P.S. I've reread Chapter 5 and must add a few things: points for not ignoring the original plot twists and working them into your story. Many authors choose the easier path and place their stories in inexistent time gaps (review's author shyly raises her hand).

It's also visible (and admirable) how you really put your mind into the Naruto world and think things through before writing them (pregnancy theory).
WaiiKitsune chapter 6 . 4/4/2010
Finally. The day that I see FD updated. I'm sure you know what's my next course of action. *cough*BugyoutoupdateELG*cough*

Nice chapter, loved the flashback. We now finally something about what happened to Kinade. I feel like she was fainting too much though. And... You know what...

Kakashi is such a jerk.

He said he loved her, but he still forgot her. What kind of man is he?

Yeah. Teehee. Still, this chapter is at least half of your previous one, but I can't blame you. School's killing us. So, in return, update more!

Prescripto13 chapter 6 . 4/4/2010
Nothing wrong with the occasional bit o' cheesiness, lol!
AmaranteX chapter 5 . 2/8/2010
Oh my.. Kurenai is really going to fight? Surely that's a bad idea -.-

Oh my god! What will Kinade do now? 0

Keep on writing! xD
Sarah chapter 5 . 1/27/2010
Wow, I can't wait for an update to this story, it's really good. I especially like how you incorporate more of the characters besides your OC and Kakashi. Thanks for the Jap Dictionary, I think it helps readers such as myself you wouldn't know the meaning. :)

On another note though, there was one small thing that bothered me. When Kakashi is referring to not knowing Obito's cousin, it should be '. . . nor had he mentioned his cousin' since Obito is afterall dead.
CaitlinTierney chapter 5 . 1/24/2010
Kakashi is a bastard! why the hell wouldn't he remeber Kinade?

please update soon! I need to read more!
XxDarkSarcasm1010xX chapter 5 . 1/24/2010
Wow, what a chapter. Firstly, Kakashi doesn't remember her face, and now she's heading to Ibiki's. What a twist; I expected Kakashi to have a heart attack of the girl he knew 15 years ago, maybe longer.

Secondly, I love how you placed in the fact that Asuma has just died, the emotion within Kurenai was just heart breaking.

And you definatly made Shikamaru seem like a sweetheart. If I admit, this is becoming an excellent read, and you should be proud that you have produced such a great story:)

I anticipate the next chapter, and hope things turn out in Kinade's favour.
MaliBiser chapter 5 . 1/24/2010
I wonder what will happen with Kinade next? Ibiki can be really, really harsh when 'dealing things professionally'.

Maybe it's just me, but it seems you observe the story from too many angles at once: KibaHinaNaru, YamaShizu, AsuKure... and not enough KakaKina (look, they have an acronym!) in comparison for my taste. It just makes me feel a bit disoriented.

Anyway, I hope Fan Fiction will do the job properly and notify me about the Chapter 6. Till then, then. :)
MaliBiser chapter 4 . 1/24/2010
hmm... Interestingly enough, failed to inform me on the update so I clearly missed chapter 4. Either that, or I've been more absent-minded than usual. I can't say.

So, you rewrote Chapter 3. I must say, the alternate ending

flares up one's imagination more than the original version.

Now I'm all jumpy to see Kakashi's reaction. Off I go to Chapter 5!
WaiiKitsune chapter 5 . 1/24/2010
I'll tell you, I didn't expect the chapter to turn out like this, so I liked it quite well. A rather good twist. Didn't really expect to see Kakashi not recognizing Kinade.


Interesting focus on the Asuma-death part. Love the portrayal of Kinade's personality. Kakashi sounded a little harsh though, but I can understand why.

You know... One thing that's somewhat bugging me is that, other pairings are more blatantly shown although they're the side-pairings, but the main-pairing hasn't shown yet.

Furthermore, maybe because it's only into the fifth chapter, doesn't it seem a bit mashed? You have half of this chapter on the Asuma-death issue. (I am SO contradicting myself right now.)

Sorry if that sounded harsh or anything. Just some questions that I asked. Then again, we can't have the same style of writing, and maybe this is your style. Be sure to update ASAP, 'kay? Or I'll nag at you until you do. XD

Deon chapter 1 . 1/22/2010
Whoa... uhh... i dunno what to say. i preferred the second part.. the one where the girl was brought to life. somehow i didn't like the first part cause of the whole YamaShizu thing. idk. But nonetheless, good job. :D
AmaranteX chapter 4 . 1/1/2010
Wuhuu! I was in your shoutout! :D

But what a cliffhanger to leave us with! Meanie!

I can't wait for the next chapter, so hurry hun! :D
35 | Page 1 .. Last Next »