Reviews for Scorched Earth
R Amythest chapter 1 . 12/12/2010
[Review Santa] (A bit of preamble: Myaru and I are doing reviews by requests as gifts for the holidays. We let people request on the behalf of others, and Gunlord presented us this piece of yours and a few others. Happy holidays! If you're curious about this project, there's a writeup on it in the Fire Emblem Writer's Guild.)

This what-if piece does a good job of highlighting the importance of our lordling trio's mission. Your description of the world now around them is appropriately chilling and allows the reader to believe completely that the world is at its end. I like, too, the decision to keep Hector, Lyn, and Eliwood unnamed within the narration. Perhaps to show their disfigured state, as unrecognizable as the world? Perhaps to show that they are nobodies in the world of their failure? Either way, I find their almost-anonymity evocative.

There are two things that bother me a little, although canon would support your interpretation in both cases. The first is that our trio is (was) apparently on the brink of death, yet strong enough to hold a conversation and to plunge weapons into the ground. I'm told they barely survived a fiery encounter with the dragon, and I'm also told that they're bloody and covered in third-degree burns, but I lack the sense from their actions that they are really that close to death. (Not that it's uncommon for canon to have characters monologue for hours while dying, amirite?) The other is similarly something canon does itself, and that is the implication that dragons are somehow so wanton by nature that their re-entry into the world would mean mass destruction, even in the absence of Nergal's influence. It's a little ironic that Eliwood says "that is the way... of the dragons" when he once grew close to a dragon girl, whose relationship with him was meant to show that humans and dragons had a chance at reconciliation. But, as noted, canon pretty much assumes the worst about the fire dragons, too.

Still, a look at their worst nightmare is worthwhile, in all its gritty detail. I love the way our senses are melded in the line, "... she breathes her last, an ashen, smoky breath, red and deep and terrible." While engaged in the story, I believe completely that their failure has resulted in something horrible.
Mark of the Asphodel chapter 1 . 12/14/2009
I think I saw this as your minific sneak preview on LJ a while back. Pretty good, though the prose is a little flowery in places ("garden of war's bloody delights") which undercuts the apocalyptic nature of the 'fic overall. I must saw I liked Eliwood in this- the gesture with the sword just seemed to fit. Ah, poor kids.
Vanechka chapter 1 . 12/12/2009
...I like this. Alternative takes on the ending is always good.

It's amazing how many things you can convey in such few words. Good job!
DustyHat chapter 1 . 12/12/2009
Quick to the point of terrible tragedy.

Easily conveys the helplessness of the three fallen heroes; very colorful in terms of vocabulary and mood.

Good job