|Reviews for Spider Webs|
| jaelin910 chapter 4 . 7/21/2012
a good story so far. I'll be waiting for updates
| UrieNanashi chapter 4 . 7/7/2012
This is interesting-I hope to see more. Please update!
| romantiscue chapter 4 . 6/18/2012
This story is quite well-written, but it's the same old formula with strong!shinobi, weak/naive!wizards :/ IMO, it's not much fun seeing one side basically "kick around" the other. I'll stick around though, to see how the respective power levels are set up.
| RamenKnight chapter 4 . 6/16/2012
Apathy harry is hilarious. Love it.
| RamenKnight chapter 3 . 6/16/2012
Hehe, lets see where this goes. Also, very close.
| mabidiso chapter 4 . 6/11/2012
It's quite surprising to find a new chapter for this golden oldie. Though I've found that I love it as much today as I did when I first found it. That was the coolest First Encounter ever! Well done.
| Fk306 chapter 4 . 6/11/2012
sounds interesting I look forward to more
| exaigon chapter 4 . 6/11/2012
LOL Poor Harry...
I can't wait for the next chapter!
| Shizuku Tsukishima749 chapter 3 . 9/25/2011
Ooh! I love the switch to present tense at the beginning! Currently, that is my favorite tense in which to write! Though I really do want to try writing in second person one of these days... Hmm... I should really get on that... XP
The mistakes I found:
1. First section, second paragraph, the part in present tense at the beginning of the chapter: it says, '...INfecting and Affecting everything it touches with it's raw...' This is probably another typo, but the 'it's' should be 'its,' seeing as the first indicates the contraction 'it is' and the second is the pronoun for something without a gender.
2. The paragraph below the one mentioned above: It says, '...feel the currents of power, to breath in...' This is probably a typo, but 'breath' here should be 'breathe,' the first being the noun and the second being the verb.
3. In the section in the Potterverse, first line of the first paragraph: It reads, '...with Harry, who was insisting he need to get...' and this is probably a tense-typo (a mistake when switching tenses; I make them all the time, and they bug the heck out of me! XD XP), but the 'need' should be 'needed' in this case. U
4. Same section, when Hermione and Ron arrive: It says, '"We're going, too." The only girl of the golden trio stated.' Rules of dialogue speech tags speaking, it would more correctly look like this: '"We're going too," the only girl of the golden trio stated.' (If the dialogue stuff confused you, don't worry. It took me weeks if not months - I'm betting on the latter - to get the final hang of this stuff in tenth grade when I had to TEACH MYSELF because none of my teachers ever bothered to teach me... Actually, a whole crapload of stuff I had to teach myself, come to think of it...but I digress (oh, God, I sound like Mr. Dixon! It BURNS! T.T XD).)
5. Same section, a few lines down: Just a typo here. 'All three scowled at her; the were in their sixth year..." The 'the' after the semicolon should be 'they.' XD But as I said, that's an obvious slip of the finger.
6. Last section, six lines down, when Tsunade talks: It says, '"Sakura," Tsunade called out. "What's our situation..."' Technically speaking, in my experience, it looks better to write it as: '"Sakura," Tsunade called out, "what's our situation...,"' but really, it all comes down to what you like best. _ I've seen this style loads and understand it, whether or not I agree. XD
7. Paragraph below the one above: Another typo, nothing major. It says, 'A pink head snapped up to located her hokage...' The 'located' should be 'locate,' as I'm sure you realize. Man, typos sure do suck... XP Stupid fingers have minds of their own... XP
8. Two lines below the line above: Depending on one's position on the English language, this is another 'to each his own' question, so to speak. It reads, 'Tsunade sighed, she'd hoped for more.' Really, if one is following the 'Adam's' rules Mrs. Blackwell gave in ninth grade (which...were you even at Ventura back then...? Part of me is thinking no... Anyway, they were a bunch of sentence structure rules. Boring to the average person, but being a writer, that was my favorite part of the whole curriculum. XD I am SUCH a nerd, but boy, do I have fun being one! XD XP), the more correct structure would replace the comma with a semicolon.
That being said, this would occur because while a comma and a semicolon both indicate pauses, a comma would only have a complete thought after it (as you have here) if there were a coordinating conjunction in between the comma and complete thought (and, but, however, yet, so, etc.). For example: 'Tsunade sighed, for she'd hoped for more.'
However, a semicolon's pause is different in that it needs no coordinating conjunction in between. The example for this is the corrected sentence above.
Hope this helps! I'll explain the Adams rules more fully on Monday, if you want - or what I remember of them anyway. I still have them from ninth grade (I wanted to keep them in case I forgot some of the rules and needed reference), so I can bring them to school sometime if you want! U
9. In the sentence after this one: It reads, 'As it was, they'd have to make do.' One's a grammar issue and the other's a typo. From what I've read in my extensive grammar research, 'As it was' should be 'as it were,' the same rule applying, for instance to 'if it were.' The other mistake: 'As it was, the'd...' The 'the'd' should be 'they'd.'
10. In the line right below (and technically, in the very last line of the chapter, too): It says, "Baa-chan! In coming in three!" The 'in coming' should be 'incoming.' I'm sure it was a flick of the spacebar, but just to make you aware. _
11. In the last line of the chapter: This is just a typo. It reads, "...Head up into the trees, stick with you squads..." The 'you' should be 'your.'
You don't...I REALLY hope you don't find any of this offensive or overbearing! The corrections, I mean! It just seems like every time I ask my readers to keep an eye out for things I miss, they never help (no offense to them; I LOVE them! XD), so when I find someone asking the same of me, especially when she's a friend...I can't help but comply and do it to the best of my ability! *U* So please, if it's annoying, be honest with me, and I'll stop right away! *U*
But MAN, the part about Sakura and Sasuke being the universe, the one thing he had to protect above anything else...! *U* That was SO FREAKING ADORABLE! *U* I LOVE little fluffy tidbits like that (which you can totally tell if you read even the smallest bit of my stuff), and I am so happy to have found someone who loves the little things like I do! *U*
Can't wait for more on this one! I love it! *U* One of the most well-made crossovers I've ever seen! Rock on! *U*
| Shizuku Tsukishima749 chapter 2 . 9/25/2011
Not many mistakes in this chapter, so good job! The few that I found, though:
1. In the paragraph talking about how Sasuke was handling being about to lose Naruto: 'He'd had more practice in loosing teammates...'; the 'loose' should be 'lose,' same as before.
2. In the same paragraph, second to last line, it talks of Sakura's footsteps. It says, '...not rushed and not staling.' the 'staling' needs to be changed to 'stalling'; the first meaning food going bad and the second meaning buying time. That one's definitely a typo, but thought I'd let you know. _
3. This one's just a typo. The paragraph all about how Sakura's dealing with this. It says 'Sakure' instead of 'Sakura.' Twelfth line down.
4. Last line, last paragraph: It says, 'The world turned red beefoore she got the chance to.' The typo is easily found here. _
5. There was one part - maybe in the last chapter, not sure - that I forgot to mention. It was an obvious typo, reading '...the the...' with obvious stuff before and after. It might have been in the A/N, come to think of it...and if that's the case, never mind. XD
This is turning into such an awesome fic! Love it so very much! *U* Rock on! *U*
| Shizuku Tsukishima749 chapter 1 . 9/25/2011
These are the mistakes I found (some may be typos, but just wanted to let you know):
1. After the second line-break with Tsunade and Naruto, fourth paragraph down, there is a line that ends with '...but had then grown concearned.' The last word is spelled incorrectly; it should be 'concerned.' But I'm sure it was just a typo. Don't worry about it. I do that kind of thing by accident all the time...but then, I'm very, very much the perfectionist and edit my chapters a bazillion times over before posting so people DON'T see my errors because I'd die of utter humiliation. XD XP _ (Why, yes, I'm a tad obsessive when it comes to my fanfiction. XP)
2. In the section that begins with the sets of ten, third line down: it says 'The deminsions...'; it should be 'dimensions,' as those are references to space available in a room, etc.
3. In the same paragraph as the one above, a little further down: it says, '"Kakashi," the jounin looked up... /next line/ "Go get Naruto's friends."' Dialogue rules considered, it should be either: '"Kakashi." The jounin looked up... /same line/ "Go get Naruto's friends."' or, if you prefer the traditional, more correct way, '"Kakashi," the jounin looked up from the scroll he was studying with Jiraiya, "go get Naruto's friends."'
4. In the paragraph two below the one above, the one where everyone's gathered to protest Naruto's execution, third line down: it says, 'None of them ever thought they would loose their sunshine blonde...'; the 'loose' should be 'lose,' for the reasons I explained in the last story I read and reviewed.
That's all I managed to find as far as mistakes go! *U*
As for story - boy, I'm impressed! *U* Your storytelling, your word choice, your descriptions...! Normally, I'm not even one for crossovers, but this one is AMAZING so far! *U* Poor Naruto and Harry, though; Harry being scared out of his wits and Naruto about to be killed! T.T Rock on! Love it so far! Off to read more! *U*
| ensis013 chapter 3 . 6/12/2011
This looks like a very interesting story! So I'm guessing that the Kyuubi brought Harry over so that he can cross over to Harry's world? And when they touched, everyone in the room got dragged over to the Wizarding World? So, what happened to the Kyuubi? Is he still trapped inside Naruto or does he have more freedom than before?
I can't wait to see what happens next! Please update soon, since it's been a year since the last update.
| Furionknight chapter 3 . 6/3/2011
I look forward to more :)
| ManateeFace chapter 3 . 3/8/2011
Are you going to update again? Please do, this story has really good potential, though the last part there confused me. Update..?
| air fox 860 chapter 3 . 11/22/2010
come-on you should continue
love the story