Reviews for Naruto The Fallen One
God of Vampires chapter 1 . 4/12
Hey while this looks like it could be good there are some problems first please work on your grammar or have someone look over your work to check it second why would Naruto have wings if his clan is called the wolf clan?
Flabigbearjr chapter 5 . 12/23/2014
I just wanted to tell you while I like this story every vengeance, avenged, or revenge you spelled ravaged
BoomOnGames chapter 7 . 7/1/2014
i really hope you update this story because its got a good plot with an interesting change to Naruto's origins and i hope to see where you take it from here
MathewD543 chapter 7 . 6/18/2014
im just woundering if kushina tries to make it up to for minatos actions by joining his harem
Sliver Lynx chapter 7 . 10/18/2013
I love the fight between naruto and sasuke. I think its not to short! Its a size chapter!
treytucker891 chapter 1 . 9/18/2013
English you needs to work on it a lot
Lu Bane Na chapter 1 . 6/27/2013
Well, my first complaint is actually numerous ones, and those are the misspellings, punctuation, as well as using the wrong words. You said 'because' instead of 'became/become', you used 'wired' instead of 'weird,' you completely neglected the use of comas in sentences containing dialogue, and you called Tsume an Oni (demon) goddess when I'm pretty sure you meant Inu (dog) goddess. These are just a few of the many examples. Please get someone to Beta this, or atleast use spell check if you've got it.
Another thing I have to question is his 'Wolf'' bloodline giving him wings. I just can't make a connection b/w the two. It's like you just added wings because it would sound cool instead of logical.
The last thing I'm going to complain about are the numerous run-on and fragmented sentences.
Besides these three major problems, I'll continue reading this story in hopes of seeing an improvement and because I'm generally curious as to where you'll go with this.
darkemporer chapter 7 . 6/25/2013
nice chapter u need more mabui in it
Alex2909 chapter 7 . 5/30/2013
nice way of putting sasuke down. hope to see more of his skills. like mabui and anko joining by the way
Alex2909 chapter 6 . 5/30/2013
and anko trains him. nice date and relationship developments
Alex2909 chapter 5 . 5/30/2013
hope things get going soon
Alex2909 chapter 4 . 5/30/2013
hope lucian gets executed and that naruto kills danzo
Alex2909 chapter 3 . 5/30/2013
nice lemon, hope the training is next time. wonder who else is in the harem, hope either samui or yugito or both
Alex2909 chapter 2 . 5/30/2013
mature of naruto to swallow his pride and ask sarutobi for help. look forward to the training and the results. nice of kakashi to apologise
Alex2909 chapter 1 . 5/30/2013
like the plot idea, not one i see very often. look forward to the training for the month as well as the finals
140 | Page 1 2 3 4 .. Last Next »