Very impressive work you have here. I like the way you've subverted the smothering depression that pervades canon Eva and instead made something far more interesting.

I'm not sure I like the whole 'seven week dream' plot point, simply because it makes all of those chapters feel like filler. I also notice that the grammar and spelling have improved by leaps and bounds in the later chapters.

Well, that certainly was a wild ride. Looking forward to more.

By the way, did the Ree put you up to that cliffhanger?

While I've read this story once before, I'm not sure if I left a review then. I'll remedy that possible error now.

As I've been following Glorious Shotgun Princess, I think I've got something of a hand on your writing style. It seems very eclectic and spur of the moment. You write whatever happens to percolate in your brain. As a result, your writing strikes me as very funny, but also occasionally hard to follow.

The scenes flow between characters rapidly and with little warning. Most of the time, this works out fine, but every once in a while I won't understand who is talking and where they are. This tends to be the most jarring when the scenes are very short.

On the other hand, your characters are generally pretty awesome, something which is shared with Glorious Shotgun Princess. When you're running a serious bit, which was particularly noticeable at the beginning of this story with Asuka, your characters have an almost scary amount of realism for a story so markedly of the humor genre. When I came back to read this story for a second time, that was the part of the story I was most looking forward to. I like the transformation she made from the beginning of the story to the end.

In addition, your sense of humor is always spot on. While I appreciated the serious bits of this story, I'm definitely glad you went the humor route. Rei and her sisters get up to the most ridiculous things and the numerous references to other series are always fun to pick out. I've gotta note that Rei plays too many animes and watches too many cartoons.

To sum up, it's always fun to read your writing. It's funny as heck to read and the serious bits really strike a nerve with me occasionally. The only thing I could really recommend is to try and focus your scope a bit more. There's always so much going on in your stories that the frequent scene swaps can leave your readers left behind.

Later,
Rex

Leroy Jenkins, that is epic on so many levels.

And is it me or is Pen Pen talking like Michael form Full House?

The Blues Brothers...epic.

Ok, in the last 19 chapters I have seen direct references to Men in Black, Austin Powers, Jurassic Park, Pinky and the Brain, Kool Aid, Ghostbusters and probably a couple more that went right over my head.

Well played, will played indeed.

Just found this while surfing and I'm loving it. Intriguing take on the source material. I'm liking it.

Nice Ghostbusters 2 reference by the way.

Added to fav.

Very interesting flow to this chapter. Definite river like quality as we go from Shinji to Yui/Gendo to test to…shower and Rei?

At least it is plain that Yui can check Rei even though it is indicated that Rei has experience to try and manipulate Yui like any child with a parent. And it’s a plus that Yui can counter that effectively (Rei subdued is an interesting sight indeed especially given that she continued with the hip swaying—was that directed at Yui, Shinji or both?). She is shameless apparently (‘baby pictures’) making one wonder just how much experience she has. Don’t know if you intend to go there but it is an interesting thought.

But then there is her, Kensuke and the Angel. If Kensuke knew of the rumors about her, its surprising that he went along with her so quietly (not that she gave him much of a choice but he should have made more noise about it). Part if it may have been her demeanor which may have had something to do with the song—he’s more than enough of a geek to find something like that attracting even if it is against survival/common sense. I find Rei’s action to be remarkable, hearing the song and yet kidding (‘is that a word’)/complaining about what has to be the urge to find/accompany/maybe even join with it despite her homicidal intent (which could be the direct result of any of the above). Why she took Kensuke along is not explained at all but again that may be a factor of her personality. Then we have her recovery from the mayhem (or perhaps the lack of the need to recover) clearly saying that she is addled in too many ways to count. It should be interesting to see how this factor of her personality continues to manifest.

As does the personality of your Shinji. His acceptance of how he was raised is of course markedly different than canon. That difference being that he seems to really accept it rather than just saying the words while obviously brooding/sulking about it as the canon Shinji would.

So Rei and Asuka are corresponding—and then you hammer home again that apparently Rei doesn’t have a concept of cause/effect when it comes to murder/mayhem. The fact that most of the time she seems so…normal (if exuberant)—which must be the case given Yui’s reaction (this can’t be the first time given that).

Angel fight! Shinji holds his own and Rei’s ‘helping’ (is that going to become a catch word?). Short/sweet and score one for Shinji. And things start to change here as the Angel had a form different from ‘predicted’. Will want to see where you take this.

As will the future of Unit 02 and it’s pilot. Where will Asuka fit in here. Anticipating greatly.

Another good chapter. Lots of hints, very few clues. Good job at making us go on with you.

The only complaint is did we really have to know that the Plug Suits cause wedgies?

The Wise Duck

and...then there was much weeping and gnashing of teeth...cuz I made it to the end and stuff. Unless you continued this in another story? Anyways, I laughed...and laughed and laughed. The Ree are magnificient, probably the crown jewel to this story, the hell with the robots of doom...those girls/things/Ree MAKE the story. If you have continued this elsewhere I'd love to keep reading it.

S .

Good Morning—and NFW could I ever possibly conceive waking up/getting up like Rei did here. You ought to sign her up for a mattress commercial or sleep aid commercial or something.

Other than that—good opening.

I’m already beginning to assume that ‘manic smile’ is normal operating mode. Should I infer that this does not bode well for mankind?

Side note: seriously-I do like to see little ‘tid-bits’ of annoying detail matching real world incidents such as Shinji feeling that he landed on his keys. To me things like that make a story. Hope to see more of such.

Okay, interesting scene. Change of canon from angry Touji to angry Hikari. Will be looking to see how this manifests down the road as in will or will-not Hikari ask ‘to be punched’ later on or will you resolve it in a different manner. Could this be a ‘butterfly effect’ moment.

AAnndd considering everyone’s reaction to Rei’s reaction—hopefully details will be forthcoming regarding the ‘prior history’ which has made everyone so wary of Rei.

Yui, the Committee and a ‘new scenario’. Evil portends.

Okay, that was a quick resolution to what I said above about Hikari. And Rei apparently instigated it? through force/fear? Seems that you have expanded her in more ways than I realized. Interesting.

Again interesting—Asuka’s mom is alive, apparently there is a son/brother who’s Unit 02’s pilot and Asuka is—yes this should be interesting. Really looking forward to where is this going. Returning here after where Asuka called Shinji on the phone—I’m really afraid that the word ‘interesting’ is going to be horribly overused but just think of Spock and ‘fascinating’. Asuka is—browbeaten into complete submission (something strongly accented when her mother grabs her by the jaw to get her to turn her head) but has what is probably seething anger running just under the surface. Will be interesting to see how she deals with that anger or what happens when she just lets it simmer—it had to resolve somewhere. Comes under heading ‘does not bode well’.

I must admit to a little wonder in regard to Asuka’s phone call to Shinji. Considering her nervous/hesitant tone and how she must come across to Shinji as a ‘fan’?, I’m surprised that she even got the never to call unless she was actually put up to it by Yui (given Yui’s reaction during her dinner with Shinji). Maybe this is one way she ‘strikes back’ at her mom but right now the jury is out on that.

Again a very good chapter. Same quick flow is there, dialogue is ‘real’, new characters introduced in ways that make us look forward to more.

Good Job

The Wise Duck

Pic of Shinji's aunt and uncle:
manga/neon_genesis_

This should be interesting

I honestly haven't been this disturbed by FF in a long time. How did the woman who wants to punish people who love each other for having sex lose her virginity, much less have children again?
How come every girl aside from the postal child for bad parenting wants to punish that when they constantly do the same thing themselves, with people they don't exactly love much?
Where does the moral of "It is okay to castrate them/maim their genitials/lock them out of a basic need if they're children come from?"
Plus, it is not like they're all that young anyway, only four years from adulthood(and three years since they crossed age of consent, sooo...) If this was some plot hijack to spread the message that "sex is bad, which is why we had kids", you have been quite thorough. Now, if only it matched with previous plot.

So...yeah. Sex is wrong and bad but having one's way with Kensuke and Kaworu is perfectly fine, coming from the group in charge of saving humanity.

So Misato gets to have awesome secks and Shinji and Asuka get cold water? With numerous other instances of teenagers - well-known to have hormones - being locked down while all the older people with LESS hormones get to have sex daily? And it takes a Deus ex Lilith to get them to have sex, and then they're treated like seven-year olds? WHY SO UNFAIR?

Good Evening. Got turned onto this story through the entry in TV Tropes so I already have an idea as to what to expect. But at the same time I try to let the story speak for itself.

And in that regard, I do like the way it starts. Right from the beginning things are going on that holds my attention and draws me in for more. It’s obvious from those first couple of lines that confirm that Yui ‘knows’ that this tale is going to take off on a tangent that should prove interesting. And yes! She does wear the pants quite well thank you!

Then we jump ahead into what should be familiar territory. And while it is comfortingly familiar, you start off on that same tangent almost immediately which allowed my interest to stay focused.

I mean; how can one not stay focused when you use descriptors like ‘bad violin, dying cats and cricket sex’. Having been in a few like situations in my life I can attest to such realities.

Then he gets rescued—the only analogy I’ve been able to come up with for that scene is in chapter 23 of Yokohama Kaidashi Kakou when the Misago goes leaping/bounding across the countryside. Shinji takes the whole event in with proper terror—and then there’s this new—Rei. I definitely like how DIRECT she is in both word and deed (having put my foot through a few doors over the years I applaud how she gets things done—hope that her knuckles don’t skin too badly though).

I think you did a good job in continuing to ‘mirror’ canon events with enough little quirks to let one know that we are no longer in Kansas Toto. It allows for the familiarity that I think you’re going for while at the same time making it your story. So basically a very good first chapter with nothing negative to say. Looking forward to continuing on.

So Thank You for all the Hard Work

The Wise Duck