|Reviews for Share|
| XoxoWriterGirloxoX chapter 1 . 2/28
OMG that was so cute at the end *Giggles* Please use that line again sometime in the future :)
| Guest chapter 1 . 7/15/2014
Type your review here...
| SuperMikoFromTheFuture chapter 1 . 4/12/2014
aww! I love this :D
| JuJu-chan the Vampire chapter 1 . 11/9/2013
So cute! Nyaw! Kawaii desu!
| SakuraFlowersFalling chapter 1 . 7/19/2012
Awwww. Cute! :3
| Mew Mew White Dragon chapter 1 . 7/5/2010
I think the line saying Miyagi sounds like a girl about to be raped, doesn't sound right at all. If you were looking for people to flame you and yell at you then yeah that’s a good way to go about it as it will likely do more damage to both the story and your reputation as an author. It will turn people off real quick and a lot of people will probably stop reading right there and not read the rest because of one thoughtless stupid line.
Personally when he shouts ‘your late’ sounding like a girl about to be raped first it isn't what first pops into my head or I’m sure anyone else’s and second makes no sense what so ever. I'd have been nicer and made a hell of a lot more sense if he had said something more along the lines of he sounds like an angry and jealous housewife whose husband has been out all night and thinks he’s cheating on her. It's sounds nicer and fits with Miyagi's personality a lot better. Since he’s always flirting with Hiroki, by saying he’s late it would sound more like he’s accusing Hiroki of cheating on him when there’s no relationship between them.
As for Hiroki being OOC he's a A LOT OOC! Nowaki was a little OOC too for that matter. First if you make reservations at a place you don't need any form of paperwork just your name and then tell them your name and if there's a spot open they'll take you to your table. If for some odd reason you didn’t want them at that restaurant then maybe despite the reservations their full and would be say an hour before a table would be ready or the restaurant lost their reservations. How did Nowaki know they wouldn’t have gotten in without this paper you don’t need without asking the maître? And if he made the reservations unless it was recommended and had never been there before how did he NOT know if was a super fancy place? And what kind of place did they end up in? If it’s got high enough prices to freak Hiroki out the obviously it must have been fancy or at least a real nice place. So then where was Nowaki going to place their order? Was this some kind of high priced fast food joint or what? Because if a place can afford to have menu’s on the table then they have waiters and waitress’ to take their orders, Nowaki wouldn’t have needed to get up to go place the order. And seeing Hiroki freaking out over the prices why didn’t Nowaki reassure him, it’s fine it’s my treat don’t worry about it and Hiroki argue over how he’s still in med school and shouldn’t be spending that much?
Second Hiroki is WAY TOO self-conscious to let Nowaki do anything like put his hand up his shirt in public. He freaked out once when Nowaki kissed at night in front of the hospital with no one around. And Nowaki would not do something like put his hand in Hiroki's shirt in public, in full view of other people. And even if for some odd reason he did, I DO NOT for one second believe that they are sitting in a chair one minute kissing and the next oops heh how did we end up on the floor? Ah no WAY TOO unrealistic!
And Nowaki does have a birthday. Unless you’re just a complete idiot you should know that just about everything you fill out whether in real life or online almost everything requires a birth date! Nowaki could never have gotten even one job much less six, or enrolled in college without one. By your logic of oh well he's an orphan he doesn't one then by that same logic oh he was abandoned so he doesn't really have a name either. Why didn't he say well I have no name either? We should be calling him kid or Mr. man. Why don't we? Because when he was found on the doorstep of the orphanage they gave him a name and subsequently the day he was found and named would have been his new birthday. With one required and no way of knowing his true birth date the orphanage would have listed the day he was found as his birthday.
| xoxInnerHollowxox chapter 1 . 5/4/2010
Such a sweet ending!
Loved it )
| Venussail chapter 1 . 1/20/2010
Oh, I love this pairing so much! I tried writing it, but I appear to have screwed it up pretty badly. Anyway, I loved, loved, loved your story! So sweet! Definitely a favorite! _
| jeanne7649 chapter 1 . 1/5/2010
"He yelled in an annoying tone of voice. I hate it when he does that. He sounds like a hopeless little girl who is about to get raped or something."
Is that supposed to be funny? A hopeless little girl who is about to get raped - do you really think she would sound ANNOYED? I'm "annoyed" when I chip a nail. If I were a little girl about to be raped, I'd be FUCKING TERRIFIED!
I realize in yaoi that women aren't very relevant. It's just part of the genre. But don't let that become an excuse for trivializing an horrific CRIME that happens to one in every three women during their lifetime. It's in reprehensibly BAD TASTE and, frankly, a betrayal of all women.
I won't be reading any more of your work. Aside from the above complaint, I find your writing to be dull and you are in dire need of an editor.
| KaiLoVesYAOI chapter 1 . 12/15/2009
Well,great story! I loved the ending!
| luluiscrazy chapter 1 . 12/15/2009
that was cute. It was a little awkard for Hiroki who was slightly ooc, I think. But other than that, truly adorable.
Can't wait to read more of your stories :)
| 0987654321poiuytrewqlkjhgfdszx chapter 1 . 12/15/2009
Kya! That's so sweet! Ah! I was smiling while reading this! Oh I love it! Ah! Great story! Luv it!
| FrosteeFlakes chapter 1 . 12/14/2009
~Aww~ So cute! Normally I don't like stories written in the first person, but this one was pleasantly sweet and simple!
Oh, and by the way: "I'll get all wrinkly before he does. That's going to be sad since I am the girl... Wait what?" Made me giggle something aweful! And that they almost gave the people in the restaurant an X-Rated show with their meals... Too funny! XD
And I don't think Hiroki was too OOC! I liked it! I hope to read more from you soon! _