|Reviews for No More Random Goils!|
| Guest chapter 20 . 8/24/2013
| chloroformandrainstorms chapter 20 . 6/7/2013
There's some cute fluff in here, and I like our OC, but the plot is a bit lacking. I feel like it could use a more driving conflict. And although you make jokes about fanfics not using logic in relationships, this is one of the least logical, most cliche ones I've come across. Nonetheless, an enterraining story.
| SugarBubbleGum chapter 1 . 10/15/2012
Someone needs to make a movie out of this story, I'm serious! It's so well written, so greatly developed, and it's a genius way of conveying Spot's character. I would definitely see this in theaters if someone were to turn this into a script! Nice work!
| Moll chapter 23 . 1/10/2012
This is a great story! And the best is how you incorporated their Christianity into it. So many of these stories, are, um, slash, I didn't think I would ever find a work like this. Good job on winning the humor award, too. Awww, I did want you to continue with their story too. But Spot alwayskeeps his word, eh?
| Me chapter 1 . 7/11/2011
After returning to this story for the third time, I decided maybe I should review and let you know how much I enjoy it.
I'm too lazy to look back and make a decent review, but I have a couple brief comments:
1. I love your writing voice. It's very humorous and fits the story perfectly.
2. I appreciate your use of vocabulary and grammatical cleanliness. It's a wonderful trait to find in a FanFiction writer.
3. I am impressed by the way you worked your faith into this story. Too often, I come across stories where the writer is unnaturally forceful or awkward about less important topics. I didn't see that in your story. You let your faith be a part of your character's lives just as it is a part of your life, and that is something I love seeing.
I wish I knew more authors like you, or stories like this one! Keep up the good work!
| Narniafan96 chapter 22 . 6/30/2011
Hi! Just decided to review this again! I read it - again - for maybe the 4-5 time! Everytime I read it I like it more and more! I will forever blame you for introducing me to the wonderful world of Newsies! I love Newsies and it has become my favorite movie! Anyway, you have my eternal gratitude for that! I am a die-hard Newsie fan and always will be! I thank you again!
Anyway, brilliant job! Bravo! Bravo! That was well written, I could understand the accents perfectly, no lines or speechs overdone to the point that I couldnt instant what they were saying, I understood everything perfectly! Yet you didn't opt out of using accents entirely, good job!
Your spelling and grammar are as close to perfect as they could be! Yea for you!
Plot was exceptional! I hate it when people think that there weren't any girl newsies in 1899 because there were! Read your history! Geez!
Sorry! End ranting and raving! ;)
Characters, great job again! Every original disney character,(Spot, Jack, Race, ect, ect, ect.) was in character and beautifully done! Every character of your imagination, (Jeans, Dash, Selene, Fire, Bullseye, Poker, ect, ect, ect.) Was done with depth and they were not shallow Mary Sue's that were perfect and annoying or worse, unbelievable. Great!
Two of my favorite line/scenes are:
Jeans groaned inwardly as more newsies joined in, teasing Race about not telling them he had a girl, and if he could get them a date.
"SHUT UP!" Race yelled, "Dis is Spot's goil!"
Instant silence descended, and those nearest Jeans edged away.
Jeans groaned (out loud, this time) and dragged Racetrack out the door. "Did you have to tell them that?"
"Why?" he smirked at her. "You ashamed, or somethin'?"
Jeans disregarded this last question as unworthy of an answer. "I didn't know they were so afraid of him."
"Spot?" Race looked at her in amusement. "You haven't hoid da rumours, den?"
"They say you single-handedly beat up Crusher's old gang, bested Fire aftah she ambushed you, gave Bullseye the soakin' of his life, and made dem both leave New Yoik."
"S' true. Like it or not, you're up wid Spot now on da list of people to stay on their good side."
Hah! I had SO much fun picturing that in my mind! The expressions on everyones faces, the thoughts going through their heads, them edging away from Jeans! Hah! I was laughing so hard!
That scene and this next one:
Jeans turned and began walking without waiting to see if they were following or not, pulling Spot around with her. He murmured out of the corner of his mouth, "Masterfully handled."
"Thanks. I have had sixteen years of practice. Are they coming?"
Spot glanced back casually. "Yeah. Arguing, but coming."
Jeans stifled a laugh. "Ella loves arguing. It's one of her favorite things to do, so I really hope Race likes it."
"As long as he can bet on who wins the argument."
The last sentence? Pure genius! And pure Race! Hah! Great job! I love that you describe things well but not overly well! Again, Great Job!
All in all I give you a 20 out of 10!
Keep on carryin' the banner!
Newsies 'till da end!
| Narniafan96 chapter 23 . 5/29/2011
Um hi. I have never even HEARD of the newsies before. And this is the first thing I have ever read about them. This story was on a Chronicles of Narnia authors fav stories list so I read it and I loved it! Thanks for writing!
| geekygoil1899 chapter 20 . 4/16/2011
I've read and reread this fanfiction so many times, and now I can finally review it, since I got an account. you write the characters so well, and.. well.. the whole thing is brilliant, as is the sequel. thanks for writing this brilliant fanfiction. :D
| King Caspian the Seafarer chapter 23 . 4/11/2011
Can't believe I've never read this...because it's absolutely amazing.
Especially they way you've managed to introduce an OC who has a romance with The Spot Conlon and yet manages not to be a Mary Sue. *shakes head* I don't know how you do it. Jeans was very real, though. I like that she doesn't talk like all the other Newsies. :) There were so many random things about this that cracked me up (Comprehensive Logic, indeed!), and so many things that made me nod because it was so very in character for the Newsies to do or say those sorts of things. (*cough* Jackthewomanizer *cough*). Oh. And Mau /is/ amazing.
Anyway. Great job. You deserved first place for humor. :)
| Austra chapter 19 . 7/19/2010
Awww! It'th tho thweet! (I'm lisping, by the way!) Great chapter!
| Austra chapter 14 . 7/19/2010
ROAR! ARGH, you lovely darling!
| Austra chapter 12 . 7/19/2010
YOU ARE KILLING ME! I adore you!
| Austra chapter 9 . 7/19/2010
| Austra chapter 8 . 7/19/2010
Oh darling, I believe I have already told you how much I adore you, but I shall have to say it again!
| Izabeal Finley chapter 23 . 6/8/2010
I love this story! :)