Reviews for A Better Place
Insomnia Isky chapter 1 . 2/14/2010
Man, one doesn't see much lurker fics. Good job. Love the dismal tone of the place.
P.A.W.07 chapter 1 . 1/7/2010
You tricked me there for a moment. I was thinking guardien angel. I rather like those last lines though: She stared down, and imagined a better place.

Well done.

Criticism wise: I see no major spelling errors and the sentence structure is smooth and easy to read. Overall, I'd have to read something londer to really give you any useful insight.
sparky and lulu chapter 1 . 12/23/2009
First of all, you have pretty decent diction throughout. And I'd also like to commend you on having correct spelling and grammar (I always do that, because it's important to me.)

You set the tone of Haven City very well, and I love the repetition you use.

And your opening and closing sentences are great.

You're very descriptive.

One tiny little thing; when you say "false lies" you sound a little redundant, as a lie is always false. (But that's just me being nitpicky.)

I do like how the title is the last phrase of the story. And it's a good title; I want to say it's ironic but I know that's not the word I'm really looking for. But it rests.

-Sparky