|Reviews for Vigilant: Cheleb'khor|
| 1ttrobinson chapter 12 . 2/9
I enjoyed this very much. Love to see more Vigilent stories in the future.
| jackiemack916 chapter 12 . 2/23/2013
I am completely charmed by the crew of the Vigilant. Sometimes fanfiction characters can fall flat in this vast Star Trekk universe, but yours are so vibrant. I find myself as excited for them in their missions as I got from watching the show. I am blown away by your talent. I really hope you intend to give us more stories of the crew of the Vigilant. Thanks for sharing your talent.
| Transwarp chapter 12 . 8/10/2010
A satisfying conclusion to a very good story. I like the relationship developing between P'Trell and Jenny, and I especially like the HINT of a possible relationship between T'Pril and McArthur. (Or M'carfer, as the Vulcan called him, and wasn't THAT a hoot!)
Speaking of McArthur, he is a marvelous character and the perfect foil for T'Pril's logic. I was quite impressed by the subtle ways you fleshed him out and brought him to life. The final dialogue between T'Pril and McArthur was thouroghly enjoyable. T'Pril has clearly found an equal in him, and (like Trip and T'Pol) together they complement each other's abilities.
You write: "I believe I've grown confident enough to take a shot at my first actual Trip/T'Pol."
You have every reason for confidence.
You write: "Haven't decided whether to shoot for a big, long story or dip my toe in with a drabble or two."
I vote for the big, long story, (big, Big, BIG!) but I'll take what I can get.
You write: "We'll see! And wish me luck either way!"
Of course. Best of luck, although I suspect luck has very little to do with the quality of your writing.
| MP - Mary Contrary chapter 11 . 8/9/2010
"The action in the past couple of chapters was quite intense. It was also easy for me to follow what was going on (who was doing what and why). All in all, a very compelling read."
- Whew! And, 'yay, me'! That stuff’s hard to nail down. Very glad I pulled it off well enough! :D
"The only thing that confused me was how the Vulcans managed to insert themselves into the Forge AHEAD of the MACOs. It wasn't clear to me whether they were in or out of the dampening field."
- I'm seeing I wasn't very clear about that. I’ve already touched on it in the latest chapter (which I’m whipping up right now) but I see I’ll have to get back in the habit of explaining things when it‘s more relevant. *Before* it becomes a point of confusion.
- The Vulcans were familiar enough with the Forge to drop down right on top of it with little risk, while the MACO and Vigilant were forced to parachute high, off target a good bit and hike the rest of the way. That's my thinking, anyway. But you brought to mind something else later on in your review, though…which I‘m kinda kicking myself about as well. (see below)
"(Typo Alert: rappel, not repel,..."
- Dang! Will fix!
"...and why bother to rappel when they can just land and step out of the shuttle?)"
- The shuttle would hit the field, lose power and crash. ;) But now that you mention it...the MACO probably could have landed *just outside* the Forge and hiked in just a quick as they did. Certainly would have been a lot easier...so I gotta give you that one.
"The disintegration stick was a little hard to swallow (it would take more than a couple of ounces of chemicals to convert a body into a pile of dust, and it certainly wouldn't happen so quickly. And where did all the water in the body go?),..."
- Yeah, pushed it a little bit with that one. I’ve seen other stories where Romulan soldiers have their suits outfitted with some weird acid thing, to prevent their being identified if captured or killed. Made (a sort of) sense to me. So I figured Romulan spies working in Vulcan territory would need something equivalent. But, yeah, pushing it a bit.
"...but the last scene where she tossed it into the Romulan's lap was priceless!"
- She’s doesn’t like Romulans very much, does she? And she‘s getting close to that personal crisis I've been hinting at... ;)
- All that said...I'm wrapping this one up very soon, hopefully today even. Then I'm putting Vigilant aside for awhile. I believe I've grown confident enough to take a shot at my first actual Trip/T'Pol. Haven't decided whether to shoot for a big, long story or dip my toe in with a drabble or two. We'll see! And wish me luck either way! :D
| Transwarp chapter 11 . 8/9/2010
The action in the past couple of chapters was quite intense. It was also easy for me to follow what was going on (who was doing what and why). All in all, a very compelling read. The only thing that confused me was how the Vulcans managed to insert themselves into the Forge AHEAD of the MACOs. It wasn't clear to me whether they were in or out of the dampening field. (Typo Alert: rappel, not repel, and why bother to rappel when they can just land and step out of the shuttle?)
The disintegration stick was a little hard to swallow (it would take more than a couple of ounces of chemicals to convert a body into a pile of dust, and it certainly wouldn't happen so quickly. And where did all the water in the body go?), but the last scene where she tossed it into the Romulan's lap was priceless!
| MP - Mary Contrary chapter 8 . 7/28/2010
Actually, yes. And I considered that seriously when I first set out to start this project. One of those little things you agonize over. You know how it is, I'm sure.
But since many of the characters from the ST:ENT series appear in this story, it's set immediately follow the TV series and several other stories in this section appear to justify themselves by even lesser standards than that, it just seemed more appropriate here overall. Besides just...well, seeming to "fit" here, yaknow?
If I get any other complaints I won't have a problem moving the whole bundle from here to there, though. So we'll see how it goes.
Thanks! And now you've got me all a flutter. Interestingly, I think the writing was actually better in the first series, even if the plot was massively overwhelming. I'm actually comfortable characterizing it as monstrous even. Intimidating. Maybe a few other menacing multi-syllables.
Still, though, I'm liking the action here more. Guess I'm just on an action tear right now...though I find I'm really wanting to nudge a certain two or three pairings I've hinted at (one not so subtly) together a bit more firmly. Wink, wink, nudge, nudge.
But as far as the health issues...nothing new there. I'm just one of those folks blessed with a built-in character building, appreciation for life-teaching, bank account terrorizing medical condition. Ah, I'm so very fortunate. You can expect that to strike...uh, I mean...break beautifully over the horizon...again soon enough. Apologies in advance.
And, wow. I could have written another chapter here instead of droning on in the review section. Huh.
Thanks, all, for taking the time. Much appreciated. :D
| Transwarp chapter 8 . 7/28/2010
You spin a good yarn, MP. I love your writing style-snappy dialogue, wry observations, unforgettable characters, and vivid descriptions.
Passages such as these are a joy to read:
- She was flying a damned burning brick. A burning brick that couldn't even make up its mind where its center of gravity was.
- She gasped for breath. Or tried to. Apparently someone had played a cruel prank on her. Shoved her in an oven, sucked all the air out and dropped a sandbag on her chest.
Your story is sprinkled with such jewels.
I'm also glad to see your long hiatus seems to be over. I'm very sorry to hear you've been in and out of the hospital. I hope you are fully recovered and enjoying the best of health!
| framework4 chapter 1 . 7/28/2010
Are you aware that there is a section called "Star Trek: Other" for stuff set against the Star Trek 'Verse but focusing on non canon characters?
| kahless21 chapter 3 . 7/27/2010
they forgot the cartoon calvin bending over with his butt hanging out with him pointing at it and in the cartoon bubble saying, "kiss it."
| Bluenblack chapter 4 . 12/20/2009
| Bluenblack chapter 3 . 12/18/2009
Sweet., and plausible deniability all around.
| MP - Mary Contrary chapter 1 . 12/17/2009
Sorry, only time for a quick run by!
I'd link to Memory Alpha, as that's my favored reference source (and it's awesome, btw) but they actually don't mention it.
| Ilikehappyendings chapter 1 . 12/17/2009
Okay! I understand you are taking a break but even the little breather story can fill in a gap or provide a data point toward the big picture.
By the way, what does cheleb-khor mean?
| Bluenblack chapter 1 . 12/17/2009
ROFLMAO! I love Marisa :)