Aaaaalright I'm up to around 3/4th of the way there and I want to give a bit of an overview, what I liked and what I disliked and thought you could improve until now.

Generally, the whole idea of having sasuke removed was great and a very healthy change in terms of fanfiction. The arcs, although the first one was kinda rocky in my honest opinion, were pretty decent and believable in their flow.(except for the chunin exams arc, but we'll get to that.)

Now what I liked.

I wont talk alot in this category as everyone has their own opinions here, but I will do my best to cover everything.

-The characters.

Not talking about relationships, but simply characters and how they thought and functioned.

Sasuke was used as a great plot device to bring the others together and his personality made you want him to be killed. That would usually be bad, but since that is the point of the character, bad for the sake of bad, I appreciate it.

Sakura,although rocky at the start as no 12yo gets so mature so fast with no real experience or acts like she did,became an awesome addition to both the cast and the team chemistry of team 7. Her determination to improve and her rate of improving are great.

I have always had a problem with how Kakashi was treated, both anime and fanfiction wise, so I didn't expect much there. To say I was impressed would be accurate as his personality was both well portrayed and changed enough so he doesn't seem OOC, but he helps his teamates improve.

Naruto is easily the best character here, though a bit too mature. The way he speaks always gives off a certain emotion aswell as how you describe him when his mood shifts.

-The pacing and character power progression were meh at best in the beginning but improved alot up to now. I especially like Sakura's skillset and how you focused on both mind and power.

There are quite a bit of things I would like to critique this on.

-NaruSaku was way too forced. It should have been a slowburn as it was shown in canon before they said "fuck it, we goin for hinata". If not that,even after the chunin exams or during it as she finds out about the kyuubi would be better.

-Some things are just straight up plot devices as sakura learning the shadowclone even though its a jonin technique and would kill those with low reserves via chakra drainage, naruto learning fuinjutsu out of nowhere without even taking steps to it and a few more.

-Some information is just wrong like kakashi's mangekyo ability. Mangekyo have specific abilities tied to personal trauma. He has kamui as does obito. he cannot use the tsukiyomi or a variant of it. He cannot read about the mangekyo as only the uchihas should have information about it. He may have it but an uchiha a sharingan does. not make.

-Some parts feel a bit too fast paced or unbelievable.(like the hokage sending genin on a jonin level mission on purpose.

All in all it is a good fanfic tho id rate it a 7 out of 10.

I love your story.

rip this fic

very mature approach to the start of this story, i respect that greatly, i appreciate that you didn't take the easy route and just have Sasuke disappear, Sasuke could be less asshole-y tho, i never liked character bashing or fall from grace for no reason.

Sasuke with plot no jutsu, as always lol. I'm actually proud to see a thriving fellow weapons user (I practice Eskrima, which is a Filipino weapons-based martial art) as an OC in here.

I think this is a great story but I wish you would have found a way to make kurama and naruto become friends

I really like the story but it has been a long long time since I last read the story but I am sorry but the way you had Naruto learn how to do weight seals with out actually learning the basics of sealing that and having an urgent mission after only becoming a genin for 2 week's no way

why doesnt sayaki give naruto some love then

J’aime bien mais je trouve que ça manque d’émotion. Parfois tu résumes trop tout ce qui se passe et il y a donc pas beaucoup de dialogues alors que c’est ça qui donne de la vie à ton histoire. Les interactions entre Naruto et Sakura en l’occurrence sont souvent résumés alors que tu devrais plutôt créer un dialogue pour montrer l’émotion de leur relation. C’est le gros point noir de ton histoire.

...maybe this would've been better if this started cannon then diverted their somewhere.

I don't know why but everytime they are focusing on the relationship, it just makes me cringe. Don't get me wrong, I would love to find a good narusaku fic but the dialogue jus really feels wrong. But other than that I like the direction of the fic. I like how they are better than cannon but sometimes theirbnew personlities doesbt feel earned.

Love it thus far wish there was more

No time to leave a review I have to read the next chapter! I’m devouring this story like Naruto devours ramen noodles.

You say your writing is bad in this chapter, i highly disagree. You're being too hard on yourself because of what's happening in your life, that you're starting to heal from. Don't degrade yourself, all your chapters have been great, and you're being extremely creative with everything.

Pretty sure the third is Asuma's dad but i could be wrong