Reviews for Eye Envy
alaskan-dracolych chapter 1 . 12/23/2009
I have seen two other stories that had the advanced Byakugan (did I spell that correctly?), and this is definitely a different premis that them. Very interesting reading. Didn't notice anything that needed correction, but then again I only did a quick read through. Very interesting way of describing how the Uchiha got the Sharingan, and the Huuga got the Byakugan. And using the old stories like that to explain, and rather logical, too. Very nice. Eagerly looking forward to the next one!
SilentSinger948 chapter 1 . 12/23/2009
I hope to see more chapters of this story.

Excellent job.
Icy Dragon Flame chapter 1 . 12/22/2009
AWESOME STORY! THis actually some great potential so it should NOT be a one shot. I want to see you continue this and make a full fledge story. It's quite interesting with what you're saying and I totally agree. ENOUGH WITH THE SHARIGAN! I need to see some Hyugas with an awesome Byakugan. So I vote you continue this and make it a great story.
Pyroclastic flow chapter 1 . 12/22/2009
Interesting...But wouldnt that mean that the Hyuuga steal light from the Uchiha? :P
edised chapter 1 . 12/22/2009
also i think her happiness was the trigger, you have to feel bad with the uchiha, also i think the huyga will get super cool ice thang "flash frozen" you know, also the ability to show the truth (like the "penitence stare" from ghost rider) of people.
Psycho King chapter 1 . 12/22/2009
*Gives a standing ovation*

Finally, someone besides me ponders...

It would be awsome if you continued this, but even if you didn't, there's nothing to say you cannot incorperate the ideas from this into Hokage's Hat.

Food for thought if you do continue/incorperate. Sense the Sharingan (aka SharingHAX) ultimate techniques are named after, and lossely based on, Japanese-Shinto Deities, it would make sense that Byakugan ultimate techniques should be based on the same (personally I'm in favor of Ame-no-Uzume, Inari, and Sarutahiko).
Zero-metallix chapter 1 . 12/22/2009
ive been following your other story for awhile and have enjoyed it greatly, personaly i would love to see where this goes, the hyuuga clans past and possible advancement of its blood line are things i thought about writting myself (but havent due to a lack of skill).
Choas Babe chapter 1 . 12/22/2009
Hey, this is a great idea! You could leave the story and the origins of the Dues Ex Machina, I mean the Sharingan, and the Byakugen open to the public to use so long as they give you credit or something, much like Perfect Lionheart and another author wrote a history for Beauxbatons, only you could expand this story and I would not complain. You have an amazing background set up for the origins, the rivalry between the clans, and the origin of the Caged Bird seal. If you do expand this, you might want to explain why more Hyuga don't evolve. Surely there was at least one Hyuga who found that the source of their greatest happiness was the chance to start a new life with the one they loved.

You could say that the Branch members didn't develop it because the Caged Bird Seal interfered with critical chakra points. It is designed to destroy the eyes and brain after all, and the application would not only be traumatic but most likely painful as well. So maybe the seal, like a burst of too bright light for too extended a time will burn out the retina, burns out the necessary chakra coils.
LordRahl80 chapter 1 . 12/22/2009
nice beginning I do hop you add to this grate job
Transient Fossil chapter 1 . 12/22/2009
This is an amazing start! It would be totally cool if you continued it but it would also make an interesting challenge. You write very well and I have enjoyed reading Escape from the Hokage's Hat and know that if you decided to continue this story I would love it as well. Awesome job!
Ewino chapter 1 . 12/22/2009
What a great one shot! I really enjoyed reading it.

The relevancy to the manga's recent chapters was very nice and Naruto and Hinata's interaction, even though a bit forced at the beginning, felt very natural and the flow was great.

I'm dying to know what happened to Hinata's eyes, but I think I'll manage, seeing you wanted it to be a one-shot :)

Thanks and keep writing!
TheUtsukushiiYume chapter 1 . 12/22/2009
Okay now i really wanna know what happens.

I am a total Uchiha-hater and anything that involves their doujutsu is of no importance to me so when Danzou got his friggen power up i was beyond pissed (not to mention NaruHina has gotten absolutely no air time whatsoever since the confession) and ranted to my Uchiha loving boyfriend. Needless to say he was ecstatic about the news.

This story will probably be up in my top ten weather or not its a challenge. I honestly cant wait to see more!
CJNyfalt chapter 1 . 12/22/2009
A good idea with a nice start. I agree with you that there is too much focus on the 'emo-eyes'.
Aotrs Commander chapter 1 . 12/22/2009
Entertaining. I have myself often wondered what an advanced byakugan would be like...

(I admit, *mostly* because I just have this vision of Hinata getting it while fighting Sasuke (while protectiing a disabled Naruto) and kicking the crap out of him with it, just to see the expression of stunned, afeared and outraged disbelief on Sasuke's face. Y'know, when sweet little Hinata absolutely goes bat-crap crazy on his ass. The wound to his manly Uchiha pride (and I use the word 'manly' in a rather loose fashion with regard to the Uchiha as a whole...) would probably be fatal! Or at least enough to make him just give up and go back with Naruto. 'Cos after that, he'd *never* live it down...

Anywhoo, I think the whole history of the byakugan and the sharigarn I think is much better than the Sage thing. (mind you, Kishimoto sometimes seems to pay less heed to his own chronology than the average viewer; he retcons nearly as much as some of the comic companies...)

So if you ever feel inclined to continue this particular story, I for one, would enjoy it!
MizoreShirayukiFan chapter 1 . 12/22/2009
Wouldn't it be cool in a fanfiction if Hinata gains the powers of a Snow Woman like Mizore from Rosario Vampire?
95 | « Prev Page 1 .. 2 3 4 5 6 .. Last Next »