Reviews for Eye Envy
the Red King chapter 1 . 12/21/2009
the 2 stories of the evolution of the Sharingan a.k.a Emoeye and the Byakugan a.k.a Metal eye was awesome i really like the thing with the woman of Fire and Ice it was really interesting D
Zankaru Zelladonii chapter 1 . 12/21/2009
***

AHH! This chapter read too fast!

I greatly hope you decide to continue with this, even if it does end very well for a one-shot.

*ZZ*
Deathmvp chapter 1 . 12/21/2009
I liked this and I hope you decide to expaind on it some more.
Baughn chapter 1 . 12/21/2009
"After all, if it was as simple as sacrificing yourself instead of another, then who would really be interested in such an action?"

Well, Hinata, for one. Interesting.
hattuteline chapter 1 . 12/21/2009
It's not too bad for a start, but I don't understand how this is "original fiction." If you had written up a new world with new characters that had nothing to do with Naruto or any other existing title, then I'd call it original fiction.
deitarionSSokolow chapter 1 . 12/21/2009
Another delightfully creative look into the gaps and inconsistencies in Naruto. I love it.
MlleMisanthrope chapter 1 . 12/20/2009
This was very interesting, and pleasant to read. It flowed beautifully and the ideas presented were believable. I hope you do decide to add to this. After all, Hinata's eyes were aching. I would like to see where you take this.
Bobboky chapter 1 . 12/20/2009
this story idea/start is awesome
Silver Warrior chapter 1 . 12/20/2009
this was rather well written, I liked it. Kinda a shame though it seems to be a oneshot. This could be the foundation for a pretty damn good story.
Thyrokio chapter 1 . 12/20/2009
Good work
narutos vixen chapter 1 . 12/20/2009
you should make this a full bown story or at least show what happens to hinatas eyes...
TL chapter 1 . 12/20/2009
We all want to know just where the hell it is, though I do like your idea.

If Hinata gets stronger eyes for her actions aginst Pain for Naruto...

Well all I can say is here's hopeing.
firegoat chapter 1 . 12/19/2009
oh i love this

like your writing style too :)

not too much information but enough to get what is going on.

lol this will sound spoiled but...any chance of a sequal?
daniel 29 chapter 1 . 12/19/2009
It's kind of depressing that this story is finished because the concept seems very unique and has an interesting question to consider also.
The Laughing Phoenix chapter 1 . 12/19/2009
*snickers. Perhaps I am a horrible, horrible person, but it seems like it would serve Hiashi right if Hinata, who he's called a failure for much of her life, were the single Hyuuga to get a powerup. Especially if it took the willingness to sacrifice yourself for another.

Going by your version of the creation of the Byakugan, Hinata could be considered a throwback to the original wielder, the Snow Woman. She sounds a lot like Hinata in temperament, gentle, kind, and generous. Which would be further karmic smackdown for Hiashi. 'Emotional control', pft!

I really liked this one-shot. If you ever decide to go somewhere with this, then I'd love to read it.

-Phoenix
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