|Reviews for My Brother|
| Descriptivist chapter 1 . 6/24/2010
This needs A LOT more punctuation and correction of capitalization and grammar.
I like the poetry, but I get really annoyed with what I call "flashback inconsistency". I just hate it when a scene is repeated DIFFERENTLY when it is shown again! For example, in the first version of the Mew conversation, Mewtwo says, "Why do I do this, you ask? Because I must." The second time, from Mew's POV, he just says, "Because I must." Did Mew not hear the first section of his sentence? "What are you talking about? We are not brothers; we have no relation" changes to "We are not brothers." That time, Mew seemed to ignore the end of his statement when it was rewritten. It annoys me.