|Reviews for Curse|
| Guest chapter 1 . 5/6
This is great! Didn't I see this on Creepypasta? I like it anyways.
| Biancachu chapter 1 . 5/22/2016
I felt the Poke-speak was weird. Poor Dragonite. I feel so bad for him. I wonder if the kid knew about the effects of Curse or if he was just as surprised as Kari.
| Cori Shadowfang chapter 1 . 5/21/2015
Oh, gosh. Brilliant story, but so sad what happened to dragonite. I liked the contrast of chronological and reverse-chronological order (yep, got that before the author's note), and I loved your prose. I have to admit I'm rather curious about the nature of the kid who gave Kari the TM, since I feel like he might not be entirely human. (Or maybe I'm reading too much into that.) A very terrifying take on the move Curse, but a very apt and interesting one. All-in-all, very well done.
| WerewolvesAreReal chapter 1 . 12/6/2014
Creepy! I like your explanation of Curse - especially the bit about ghosts being just souls, themselves, and thus the move having a different effect on them. It gives the impression that *some* trainers know what the move does to non-ghost pokemon, which makes Kari's mistake even more tragic. I have to wonder about the guy who gave her the TM, too - was he being malicious? Did he think the TM was worth the price? Was he so distant with his pokemon that he just didn't *realize* what had happened?
I love it when stories make me think - and this had just the right amounts of sorrow and conflict and tension. Thank you for posting!
| Guest chapter 1 . 1/22/2014
Holy fuck, this fic actually scared me...
| Pkmn Trainer Bronze chapter 1 . 9/8/2010
This is so sad! I never thought of curse like that, even though none of my pokemon, even ghost type don't use it. Poor dragonite. It's so tragic
| St Elmo's Fire chapter 1 . 6/30/2010
Very interesting, and also very tragic. I like how you managed to make the normal version of curse to be _more_ creepy than the ghost-type version. Your prose and description is also well-done.
The one thing that bothers me is the fact that you're capitalizing pokémon names. You wouldn't capitalize words like animal, dog, or dragon, so it doesn't make sense to capitalize pokémon species. The only time you should do so is when it's a name and therefore a proper noun - for example, Kari's dragonite is apparently named Dragonite.
Anyway, this is very good, as is your attention to detail. Keep up the good work! :)
| ChocolateTeapot chapter 1 . 4/26/2010
Great story! I really like how Curse is explained. The flashbacks were also really interesting and the ending is pretty sad too.
| Tenmashi chapter 1 . 2/24/2010
You said you'd like to know if someone didn't understand/notice the 'reverse order thing' of the battle against Morty. Well, here I am. ; Perhaps an indication of the time like 'after losing', etc etc would work? It's the fact that we know she had to battle Morty multiple times that the order doesn't seem especially weird, too.
Hope it helps or something. :O
| Azure Butterfly chapter 1 . 2/19/2010
It's beautifully written. Terrifying, but beautiful. Poor Dragonite...
| HiddenLore chapter 1 . 1/13/2010
Man... I feel bad for that poor Dragonite, the title "Dark One" sounds like Darkri or Giritina, Maybe she could go fight one of them for dragonite's soul? but good story, Don't worry, I understood Curse and the memory thing.
| Farla chapter 1 . 12/26/2009
Something about the pokemon talking really bothered me throughout this, although I'm not sure if I can really put my finger on why and it's obviously required for your plot. But it's not really clear how she's managed it/if that's just how things are supposed to work for everyone, and they end up sounding just the same as people, which serves to undermine the whole foundation of how trainers work - if Dragonite is able to have a conversation with her as an equal, if he has an opinion on which moves should be used, then why does he need to convince her to use it instead of just using it himself when it comes up, and why is it all really her responsibility? And if all of them can talk, which is seems because there doesn't seem to be much suggestion her ability is exceptional, surely others would have pointed out the weird effects of the TM to their trainer by now?
I think this would be mitigated somewhat if the talking was explicitly some sort of special rapport she had (possibly just with her dratini) and if the speech itself was portrayed as more alien or at least not like he was exactly as intelligent and experienced, so things like needing her to give the orders would make more sense.
"She had never lost to a gym leader before. They were predictable type specialists, all glaring common weaknesses that were easily exploited, with some high-leveled Pokémon but not high-leveled enough to make up for it – right? Wasn’t that what she’d always said? And now she’d just lost to one, somehow. "
Also, this just seems too much a gameplayer viewpoint. In-universe they're supposed to be really tough because they're so practiced with a particular type that they know how to cover for those weaknesses and take advantage of their strengths. If they really were a cakewalk, then there'd be no point in the gyms to start with.
I do like the basic plotline of this - you spend a lot of time on details without it feeling dull or like you're just padding things out, it builds nicely and the way you explore the move and the conclusions it leads to is definitely interesting.