|Reviews for Xenos|
| unclear expulsion chapter 2 . 10/22/2016
Wow. Loving this story so far, hope you continue it
| unclear expulsion chapter 2 . 6/30/2016
Great story so far. Hope you update soon :).
| manth chapter 1 . 1/2/2014
nice i always wanted to see those na'vi get fucked by the imperium
| ShadowCub chapter 2 . 1/25/2012
Suffer not the alien to live. Amen~!
| davidnm2007 chapter 2 . 1/7/2012
Hello again - still here :)
I'll start off with another grammatical remark, specifically relating to the sentence containing '...space stations, ships of every size and shape.' I can see what you mean here, but on first reading it threw me a little. I think the reason why is to do with that comma. It seems to be grouping space stations and ships together, i.e. that the space stations are ships of every size and shape. Which obviously they're not. (Although I'll note that there's probably less of a distinction between spacecraft and space stations than is often believed - but that's a digression for somewhere else!)
Also, an observation regarding the names. I found myself momentarily confusing Sevac and Verac, as they sound quite similar and are of similar lengths. It made me wonder for a moment why the Deatwatch Marine was also an Imperial Navy officer!
Something else that threw me a little was in the line ending "...some feral world legend." Possibly feral world could benefit from a hyphenation? The first time I read it, I read it as if the world-legend had gone feral, which I don't think was what you meant :)
Lastly on grammar and spelling, here's a very annoying nitpick :) In the bit "...beyond the boundries...", the word should be boundaries. :)
A couple of more general comments next. I liked the description of creepy guy with the hood, that worked quite nicely.
Also, I liked your explanation for how Pandora has found itself into 40K (isolated by a Warp storm). However - and this is dreadfully geeky, so please forgive me - I do recall reading that in the background to Avatar, Pandora/Polyphemus is actually supposedly located around one of the Alpha Centauris. (I don't know if they ever specified whether it was A or B.) And I suspect a 20 kilo-year Warp storm within the Solar Neighbourhood - right next door to Terra, in fact - would be in the Imperial records already. And probably have already been subject to some degree of investigation, too.
That said, I don't recall the Alpha Centauri point was ever actually directly shown in the film (the star is a single there IIRC, not a double), so one can argue about that point's cannonicity.
| davidnm2007 chapter 1 . 1/7/2012
Oh dear, I see some of the comments you've got here aren't exactly breathtaking in their wit or quality. Let's see if we can do a bit better, shall we? ;)
First off, although it doesn't really impact on your work one way or the other, a comment about the tree-huggery stuff in 'Avatar'. I'm led to understand that it's so overpowering because when Cameron was making the film, Fox objected strennously to there being any 'green' elements - so he responded to this interference by turning them up to eleven! That said, I have to admit that I found the supposed ultra-virtousness of the Na'vi a bit much too. (Also one had to wonder why a supposedly-peaceful society needs so many warriors.)
All of that aside, though, I was certainly amused by the idea of Deathwatch Space Marines knocking the smug look off those blue faces :)
Anyway, onto the fic itself.
First off, one textual issue that confused me slightly was this sentence: 'Flamers were now standard issue special weapons for the stormtroopers engaged on this world.' What confused me was that this seemed to suggest that Sevac is actually a Stormtrooper, although elsewhere he appears to be a Space Marine.
A grammatical issue that jumped out at me came later on, in this line: 'For all the xenos's advantages...' Strictly, here, the possessive should be xenos', not xenos's. The 'advantages' belong to the group of 'xenos', if that makes any sense, rather than to a singular entity called 'xenos'.
There's a related issue toward the end, with the line 'It's unnaturally wide eyes...' In this case, 'it's' should actually be 'its', as the usage is in the manner of 'his' or 'hers', rather than as a contraction for 'it is'.
Anyway, I hope some of that is of some use!
| I'M FIRIN' MAH LAHZOR chapter 1 . 12/14/2011
you mispronounced the name of the planet, it's spelled T'AU(tau homeworld, numbnuts)/ OH NO!, THE TAU HAVE CONQUERED CATACHAN!
| United Systems Navy chapter 2 . 10/1/2011
Badass to the extreme.
| Darkness in the Light chapter 1 . 9/15/2011
An open mind is like an open book free for all to see. Purge the xenos.
| troll chapter 1 . 4/2/2011
| Killer-45 chapter 1 . 2/12/2011
"Advance, battle brothers! Purge these vermin!"
i would pay money to see this a 2-hour movie of just this (provided with evil ending to boot).
killing na'vi should be fun, they deserve to be wiped out.
all the hippie tree-huggers here can suck my cock.
| racist hunter chapter 1 . 2/4/2011
if the emporer turned dark he would be god of hate . and ur a racist IF u really think all aliens r evil so sireisly wise up
| ExoskelBrob chapter 2 . 12/24/2010
It's sad to see that this story seems to halt at only two chapters. Where's the continuation? This is one of the better crossover ideas I've come across and needs more chapters. Continue in the same style, but do connect the battle in chapter 1 and the exploration in C2.
| Jarreditis chapter 1 . 12/17/2010
Though pledged to Chaos, and therefore severely loathing the Imperium, I just gotta say I love this scenario! I hope it continues into further greatness as I enjoy the bloodletting of xenos
| bigfan2 chapter 2 . 11/21/2010